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Sun Oct 8, 2017, 09:28 AM

Report: Majority Of Money Donated At Church Doesn't Make It To God

WASHINGTON—A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God. "Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesperson for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for the angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million—and most of that is tied up in real estate." According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money saved to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of† under-performing religions.


http://www.theonion.com/article/report-majority-of-money-donated-at-church-doesnt--18765?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing

Thought we could use a laugh.

4 replies, 2545 views

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Reply Report: Majority Of Money Donated At Church Doesn't Make It To God (Original post)
nycbos Oct 2017 OP
Sanity Claws Oct 2017 #1
Merlot Oct 2017 #4
Wounded Bear Oct 2017 #2
Initech Oct 2017 #3

Response to nycbos (Original post)

Sun Oct 8, 2017, 09:43 AM

1. Religious organizations do not file 990s

990s are the returns filed annually with the IRS by organizations with tax exemptions. Religious organizations and their arms are exempt from this requirement. I knew this post had to be A joke because there are no returns that give this information.

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Response to Sanity Claws (Reply #1)

Sun Oct 8, 2017, 10:19 AM

4. That's how you knew it was a joke???

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Response to nycbos (Original post)

Sun Oct 8, 2017, 09:55 AM

2. I think the problem is that we should let the OVER-performing churches to fail...

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Response to nycbos (Original post)

Sun Oct 8, 2017, 10:11 AM

3. George Carlin said it best:

"God is all knowing, all powerful, but he just can't handle money! God's got a huge money problem!"

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