"Get Your Hand Off My Ass, You Perverted Creep!"

[MineralMan]

This should be spoken loudly and harshly whenever some asshole tries playing grabass. Draw attention to the situation. Let people see the man who dared to do that act of sexual aggression. Yell it loud enough for everyone in the area to hear you. Then step away, point at the offender and say, "That Man Grabbed My Ass!" in an equally loud voice. Draw a crowd. Look at the cell phone cameras and point again, saying the same thing.

Don't let some asshole get away with it. Make him own it. Make others aware of his assault on your person.

That's my advice. I guarantee I will never grab anyone's ass. It will never happen. There is no excuse for it. Not age. Not how you're dressed. No excuse at all for any man to do that to any woman.

Remember:

"Get Your Hand Off My Ass, You Perverted Creep!"
"That Man Grabbed My Ass!"

Rehearse it in your mind, and then Say It Loud!

[DURHAM D]

1. sure...That will work

when the manager at Taco Bell has a 16 year old girl in the back office with the door closed and tells her that her hours will be cut unless she gives him a blow job she should say "Get your Hand Off My Ass etc. etc. etc." That will work



NOT

[MineralMan]

3. Obviously, this strategy will only work in a public setting.

The 16 year old girl in Taco Bell should inform her father of it, take him to that Taco Bell and point out the asshole who did it publicly and loudly. "That's him, Dad! He's the One!" Dad will handle the rest, and the asshole will have to go home and change his underwear. Or, tell her 20-something older brother. The point is: Do something. Say something. Don't let the assholes get away with it. If you work at Taco Bell, that's not the only fast food job in town, I guarantee. Blow the whistle on the asshole.

[DURHAM D]

8. And if she doesn't have a Father or an older brother and

must help put food on the table she has few options and the manager knows it. If she moves on to the next fast food restaurant the same will happen all over again. Sexual harassment is pervasive in the industry. They always get away with it.

Sorry, but your suggestion is not in any way helpful for the majority of victims. otoh - at least you are thinking about it.

[Eliot Rosewater]

52. I get your point very well. It is easier for men to see a problem like this and apply

a male solution and do it quickly and without remembering that men have tremendous privilege in this society ESPECIALLY if we are white.

I dont speak for Mineral Man but I know him and I know he agrees with that statement, but I wont speak for him.

The answer is not for the victim to have to do jack shit, it is those of us in a position of power to STOP this fucking madness.

[appleannie1943]

53. It was not a fast food place where it happened to me. It was a high end businessmen's restaurant.

I dumped the serving tray full of covered plates onto the floor and walked out, taking my book with me, in the middle of the lunch hour rush. Good luck figuring which table got what.

[DURHAM D]

55. Good for you.

As I indicated down thread I also created a stink when I was harassed at the office.

We are fortunate when we can walk away. So many can't.

[brer cat]

88. Thank you, Durham D.

Too many people miss this point entirely, and especially those who blame the victim. There are also victims who genuinely fear for their safety if they make a public declaration.

[Srkdqltr]

58. How about the MEN....who are the real problem

How about YOU MEN..Who are the real problem not smirk or laugh at other men who they find out did this stuff?? You all give other men cover. The men investigating make the woman tell the story over and over so the MEN can be tittlated by the retelling? HOW ABOUT MEN STOP DOING THIS S*** TO WOMEN??? WHERE IS IT SAID YOU ALL HAVE THE RIGHT?? Tell your sons, fathers, brothers, students THIS IS ALL THE FAULT OF MEN!!!

[mreilly]

61. I've never done a single thing you're talking about

Nobody said "we all have the right." We don't. I've always been a gentleman and I'm raising two boys to do so. I don't appreciate your comment that "THIS IS ALL THE FAULT OF MEN."

This is all of the fault of BAD men.

There are many of us good guys out there fighting against this shit. I actually argued against an aunt of mine recently who said the Hollywood sexual assault victims were greedy and should have spoken out sooner; I defended them against her insinuation they were money-grubbing attention-seekers.

[radical noodle]

74. I know this is true

but I really have had so many bad experiences with so many different men, sometimes it's easy to forget those who don't.

[Chemisse]

69. I know plenty of wonderful men

Who don't do things like this, nor do they find it amusing when other men do.

Please don't malign half the human race.

[MineralMan]

86. Never. I would not countenance such behavior in any way.

I have been speaking against such crap since my teens. If someone admits to it or brags, they get an earful and my contempt.

[AtheistCrusader]

95. I don't know if advising a woman to seek a male protector is a real solution to this problem.

[elehhhhna]

27. Young women need to know how to activate the record feature on their cell phones

Young women need to know how to activate the record feature on their cell phones and also to know how to get in touch with the EEOC.

[DURHAM D]

41. Really???

You assume (1) that they have cell phones and (2) that they are not required to store them during work hours.

Also, they have no clue what the EEOC is and also there is a question as to whether or not it is still functioning.

[elehhhhna]

42. OK never mind you're right

OK never mind you're rightnobody has cell phones anymore. Or pockets.

[DURHAM D]

45. You missed the point.

I assume it was intentional.

Done

[elehhhhna]

85. Too many words. The proper sequence is

" get the fuck away from me!" Loudly enough that anyone within earshot can hear you . Young women have a huge advantage here by the way . They can shriek really loud and they're strong and young and have big lungs. Skeezy Taco Bell manager does not have this woman in a soundproof room .

We need to empower and train our girls and women how to best respond because this will happen and can come from any direction , like the Taco Bell assistant manager, or the revered ex president. They prey on the young. Here's more food for thought – they prey on our young boys too. anecdotally, boys and young men really, really do not want to talk about this. which, obviously and of course, perpetuates the cycle.

I would like to hear your advice on how a young person should manage this type of situation . I'm plugged into a good number of young women and want to offer them the best possible advice.

[Delmette2.0]

96. About 30 years ago a co-worker complained about a guy in the office.

He would walk up behind her and poke her in the ribs while she was concentrating on her data entry work. I witnessed this one day. And much to my co-workers surprise I asked him if he did that to other men in the office. He said no. I asked if he did that to other women in the office, again he said no.
I told him that this was sexual harassment. If he didn't stop we would go to management and complain. If they didn't do anything then she could sue him and the company. Of course I thought I was speaking way over my head and actual knowledge. I did understand how male dominated the company was and how cheap they were.
The guy walked away and never did that again. I left for a better paying job and work environment six months later. To this day i think I was the only woman to stand up to any of the men.
I also think this would have never made it to court in those days.

[CentralMass]

2. A nice slap upside the head wouldn't be a bad idea either.

[MineralMan]

6. I don't encourage violence in a public setting.

Shame and exposure will work better.

[Srkdqltr]

60. Men keeping their hands to themselves

You Mineral Man............... Tell men to stop doing that?? The and you are the problem. Why should the woman have to be shamed and exposed?
Don't presume to tell women what to do.

[moriah]

81. The woman shouldn't be. In MM's ideal scenario suggested...

(And we know life is rarely ideal)....

... the idea is to shame and expose the ass-grabbing pervert by calling him out loudly on it. Which only works if it's happening in front of people who give a damn.

I was in a van of guys traveling to a group training before a long-term on-the-road project. Just like the last time I'd been on a traveling project, I was apparently the only woman who had applied -- certainly, I was the only woman hired and the only woman in that van.

I was trying to make it clear yet again to one guy who was overly persistent that I was taken, and talk to the very sheltered 18-year-old Mormon who had graduated at 16 because he was homechooled, when the persistent guy saw a sign for an adult bookstore coming up. We'd been making good time, and he wanted to embarrass the Mormon -- I didn't know if he intended to try to make me uncomfortable as well, but the other guys in the van decided to make the stop. Even though both me and the kid objected.

So what was I to do?

I decided to flip it around. When it was obvious we were going to be stopping, I went in with them and straight to the sales guy to ask about their BDSM gear. The store worker let me handle several large cat-o-nine tails whips, and volunteered to let me actually test out their weight and suitability on him (on this clothed back, of course). After showing the entire group I knew exactly how to handle one and obviously had experience, I purchased an almost souvenir-sized one that I kept clipped to my keychain until that guy went on to start his team's route.

I probably didn't reduce shock much for the poor Mormon kid, but at least my demonstration kept the attention off of him in the store.

And for some reason, the guy stopped flirting with me.

But I shouldn't have had to deal with a colleague not taking "taken" for an answer, or convincing the group to stop at the XXX store, in the first place.

[AtheistCrusader]

94. Dude, you just advocated wink-wink nudge-nudge violence in post 3.

I understand the sentiment, but please do be consistent.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

4. There is no one solution that works every time.

Also, "letting them get away with it" is a loaded phrase that doesn't adequately describe why women react the way they do in the moment.

[MineralMan]

10. Of course there's not. Clearly, I'm talking about a public place with

people around. Guess what? If I'm there, I'm going to be stepping in between the woman and her assailant. Every last time.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

11. Yeah, people love to jump to the defense of women who complain in public places.

[MineralMan]

13. This person would do exactly that.

And I'm not alone, by any means. What would your suggestion to a woman who got grabbed by the ass by a stranger in a public space? What would you suggest she do?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

22. It depends. There are countless variables women take into account as they try to figure out

how they react. Generally I trust women to do what is right for them in the moment; they are the best judges of their own experience.

[elehhhhna]

30. I have screamed don't fucking touch me

I have screamed don't fucking touch mein public, on the street, more than once. It works

[sprinkleeninow]

36. Very good! They don't expect that. eom

[elehhhhna]

38. They're especially surprised by the use of the f word if you are wearing a suit and heels

[sprinkleeninow]

43. I picture it. The fool doesn't expect it.

Women have gotten bolder, thanks be. How do they like them apples??

And the so-called 'Christian' righties conveniently blind themselves to the Scripture that states "There is no Jew/Gentile, slave/free, male/female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."

Prolly ripped that page outta their "My Bible Says".

[WhiskeyGrinder]

56. I have as well, with varying results.

[sprinkleeninow]

16. I have thinking that an unexpected, unwelcomed, dirty invasive move like

that on someone suspends the recipient in a moment of shock, and that's why one doesn't/can't have a strong response. Unless practiced as MM does advise.

[Iggo]

5. Do whatever, but don't let it slide. (n/t)

[sprinkleeninow]

7. A swift kick to the area where the boys hang out?

[Iggo]

31. If that's what's called for. Or just point them out. But don't let it slide. (n/t)

[sprinkleeninow]

40. Well, this if you have some agility, followed by 'back-up'. eom

[Mediumsizedhand]

9. Easy for a man to say. Gosh, if it were that simple, the whole world would be rainbows.

I believe a woman just came out and said HW grabbed her ass. I cannot tell you the number of women defending HW and trashed the woman not to mention the rest of men snorting at the woman for speaking up. That is just one of the issues with your statement. Just one. Keeping the job, shame and humiliation, retaliation, responsibility for anothers action. What if the woman/girl is shy, not forceful, vocal and aggressive? She must change her personality? to accommodate our society? The people around HW already knew he did this a number of times and did it to the woman complaining and did, said nothing. Well, SS told the woman she should not have stood by HW, after the fact, like she would know. But they did.

How about if we all simply say, grabbing an ass is wrong. When our grandpa's, bosses, friends and peers do it, we call them out instead of giggling about it. Or when they tell their friends they did, the men firmly call them out and put them in their place?

I believe the woman that did speak out was reduced to taking it back and deleting her post. After our society and culture got done with her.

[hexola]

24. Time changes context...GHWB is from a different era

And raised two daughters.

And he has Parkinsons - Im with Andrea Mitchell on this one...

Ask any gals who work in Nursing Homes - they get this stuff all the time!

Are we going to start raiding nursing homes?

[Mediumsizedhand]

26. And here is the apology that goes after the woman speaking up. Kinda putting in perspective this Ops

insistence it is the victim's responsibility. Not only getting an unwanted grab, but the dismissal when she does speak out. Kind of boxed women and girls into a no win, suck it up kinda of position.

[hexola]

48. That fact you think this all about women shows your bias...

Pretty sure women dish it out too...

[Mediumsizedhand]

49. Ah, ok. Women do it, too.

[sprinkleeninow]

73. It works both ways.

But, can you see a guy having the exact same creeped out feeling by an advance from a female?

[sprinkleeninow]

28. I want to express something, but I 'll refrain. eom

[elehhhhna]

32. So it's OK if elderly patients with dementia or Parkinson's or undiagnosed anything

So it's OK if elderly patients with dementia or Parkinson's or undiagnosed anything can play grab ass with your daughters? What the fuck is wrong with you

[hexola]

46. You really think the intent of a person with Dementia is the same as Weinsteins?

No - its not "OK" - but he's in his 90s - has dementia - and is from a different era...

But you have temper your judgement with those considerations.

[keithbvadu2]

68. What is wrong with his family/staff warning women about his sexual assaults?

What is wrong with his family/staff warning women about his sexual assaults?

Do they warn women or just allow it to happen?

[WinkyDink]

33. OMLord. "A different era" when grabbing a stranger's rear end was OKAY?? And "Parkinson's" is an

EXCUSE?!

I am SICK of old people (and I'm soon 68 myself) getting a pass, whether on "telling it like it is" or sexual touching (do NOT try to pretend the buttocks aren't relevant here).

Moreover, GHWB is not in a Nursing Home. Don't try to raise a pity-party for this heinous man. He wasn't always old, you know.

[elehhhhna]

39. Yeah maybe his hand was tremoring so hard it landed in her crack

[sprinkleeninow]

76. Oh, don't. 🤣 Telling it! n/t

[sprinkleeninow]

75. That's right. Tough nougatine. He shouldn't be mixing

with the public if his glorious sparkling family can't curb him. Old and senile. *My* Royal Carpathian ___.

[HipChick]

12. Easier said than done...having a male rub his erection on

you, while no-one is around...and you trying to figure out what just happened

[MineralMan]

15. Ugh! I can't even imagine, but I know it happens.

Apparently, it's fairly common on subways and public transport. Just Ugh!

[HipChick]

17. I don't even get what that is about....and I'm no pearl clutcher

but in the workplace...?

[MineralMan]

18. I'd report it if it happened in the workplace. I'd also talk

to other women there to warn them or ask if it had happened to them, as well. The point is not to be silent about it and make it public in some way or another. If the creep did it to you, he's probably done it to others. Multiple reports and he'll be walking out the door holding a pink slip.

Zero tolerance and public disclosure is the answer, I think.

[people]

51. Reporting it if it happens in a workplace . . .

Most HR Depts. are there to protect the employer from employees' claims of discrimination and sexual harassment. While some HR Depts. do try to cull out these bad actors upon learning of their behavior, many, many do not. Many HR Depts. concentrate on how to get rid of the troublesome complainer, they doubt her credibility or do a ridiculous "investigation" that is unable to conclude what happened and then the woman is left out to dry with her sexual harassing boss more or less vindicated. I know. I have handled these kinds of lawsuits for women. It is always a good idea in general to complain in writing about such conduct because, at minimum, there may be some kind of record when the next woman complains but, in order to complain, you have to be willing and able to face retaliation from the employer. For example, a woman or other discriminatee who complains may find when they next apply for a job that the former employer gives them a bad reference. Of course, it is very important, if it's possible to do so, to let others in the workplace know what happened and, if you have the resources to do so, to complain to HR or to higher-ups about the harassment. But many women (and minorities) are well aware of the risks involved in reporting the racial, sexual or other type of illegal discrimination to which they have been subjected on the job.

[mercuryblues]

83. also common

in retail stores, streets, restaurants, well anywhere women are.

[MineralMan]

84. I suppose so. It should never be tolerated or ignored.

We need a new outrage against sexual harassment and assault. We need to st a nd up enough masse for women's rights to not be subjected to this.

[DURHAM D]

20. That happened to me.

I had a boss who came up behind me while I was seated at my desk and on the phone and nudged my shoulder with his penis. I turned around and he backed off. I was not sure what had just happened. Then he did it again a few days later and I called him out and not too quietly.

I immediately began to gather up my stuff in preparation for leaving when the second in command came out and he fired me for being disruptive.

I knew I could get another job immediately so that was that. I had options that many don't.

Let me just add - the man who nudged me was and is a very big deal in Republican politics. So is the man who fired me.

[MontanaMama]

29. Unfreakingbelievable.

I am sorry. This event must have been gawd awful. Nobody should have to endure this crap at work or anyplace. I am glad you had employment options...so many women do not.

[monmouth4]

14. Barbara might have done something besides roll her eyes..n/t

[Squinch]

19. Sorry, MM. This is ignorant. Women are not groped because they aren't loud enough in demanding

that it doesn't happen.

In my experience, your advice would have gotten me fired from a job I needed. That time I didn't report it. Yes I did "let him get away with it." Your words suggest that the fault is then with me. My alternative was homelessness.

In my other experiences, on numerous instances on NYC subways in the 80's, I did shout for the asshole to get his hand off me. It was a crap shoot. Sometimes those around me would allow me to move away from the groper. Sometimes they just made it clear they thought it was funny.

In my other experience, no one would have heard it because the guy had managed to cull me from the herd and isolate me in a hallway. I was lucky to get away that time.

It is very easy for a man to say, "Just say no," which is essentially what you are telling women to do, but the world doesn't work that way.

[DURHAM D]

21. Thank you.

[Squinch]

23. MM is a sincere and well meaning guy. It is interesting when a thread comes up like this that

shows how different the world is that we live in compared to the men around us.

[sprinkleeninow]

35. Isn't this stuff categorized as sexual assault. Not just a 'rub'

or friendly, innocent pat on the tush?

If in public I would scream, yell and if holding, barrel end to face from my convincer.

[Squinch]

72. Can I ask: are you male or female?

[sprinkleeninow]

77. Whyyy?

[Squinch]

80. Forgive me, but this is the truth: your certainty that you would be able to get the

better of the person groping or molesting you suggests that you don't understand the experience. I am guessing you are male.

I am not saying that with any ill will. I am just curious because this thread has made it clear to me that men and women live in completely different worlds with respect to this kind of experience.

[sprinkleeninow]

91. My birth cert. states that the hospital determined that I landed on planet earth as

not a male.😤

[Eliot Rosewater]

57. That is why he isnt arguing with the women who are correcting him, he knows better, he is a

liberal, one of the good guys.

And like I said in an earlier post, men (the good guys) we see a problem and we have no problem telling you immediately how to fix it, whether it is sexual assault or working the remote

It is how our brains work, and we have to stop doing that especially in this area because we dont know jack shit about what is going on yet we are in a unique position to put a STOP to it.

[sprinkleeninow]

78. Youse guys are programmed

to get yer Sears Roebuck tool trolley and attempt 'fixin' stuff. I know all too well. 🤗

[Eliot Rosewater]

79. They dont call us Tim the Toolmen for nothing

although in my case i couldnt fix a burned out light bulb

[sprinkleeninow]

90. 🔨📏🔧🔩 😊

[WhiskeyGrinder]

25. This.

[zipplewrath]

54. Lecturing from ignorance.

Part of the problem here is so many men lecturing from ignorance. The OP is a classic example of this.

[japple]

59. Thank you, Squinch. It's not always very easy.

People, esp. women and children, are often caught in a situation that they can't think their way out of very quickly.

[LanternWaste]

34. We should also avoid commenting on the perceived sexy attire of children in airplanes

We should also avoid commenting on the perceived sexy attire of children in airplanes "who could not have been older than 12."

That's some pretty damned creepy stuff as well.

But I get it... it's often much easier to ignore the motes in our eyes when we want to advertise our ethics in public and lecture others.

[trotsky]

98. ...

[BigmanPigman]

37. I like the idea from the film Tootsie.

Dustin Hoffmann, portraying a female chief of staff at a hospital, where sexual assault by a particular doctor has been the norm, ordered his/her female staff to "zap him in the bugoodies with an electric cattle prod" and ordered a bunch for the female staff to use after she purchased many from "farm equipment wholesale".

[zentrum]

44. Pretty hard to do when

....the pervert is her boss and she has kids to feed. Or if the raise that will transform all their lives depends on her silence.

Can't expect the victims to be in this fight without systemic change. As black people are always saying----it's white people that have to talk to other white people about privilege and racism.

Please exhort men to put their jobs on the line if they see a woman being abused or harassed or demeaned or endangered.

[Mediumsizedhand]

47. Please exhort men to put their jobs on the line if they see a woman being abused or harassed or deme

"Please exhort men to put their jobs on the line if they see a woman being abused or harassed or demeaned or endangered. "

This.

[WinstonSmith4740]

50. Speaking strickly personally...

I'd grab the man that did it by the nuts, squeeze hard, ignore his screams, and tell him that he's enjoying it. But then again, I'm 69 years old and have no qualms about anything anymore.

[LisaM]

62. What if you're 5' 4" and the guy is 6' 4"?

It just isn't as simple as it sounds.

[Not Ruth]

63. Just last week I screamed at someone to get away from me

In a room full of women and one man. The man methodically harassed 3-4 women with words (he was asking for change and invading personal space). Not until I yelled at him did one woman say that she was calling the cops. And he walked out.

[lunatica]

64. If that worked we'd have done it a long time ago

Most men get grabby when they can which is usually when they have the woman alone or away from others. Very rarely will a man do it in a public setting, unless the people are his friends who will egg him on.

Sometimes they'll do it in an extremely crowded setting such as a overly full bus or subway train when it's impossible for the woman to turn around to see who's doing it. And they'll never do it while you can see them when it's in public places. They're offenders but they're opportunistic offenders.

Even the women who claimed Trump groped them or stuck his tongue down their throat were all alone with him as he took them on some 'tour' and steered them to empty rooms.

But I appreciate your advice and I know you sincerely mean well. I wish it were that easy.

I'm 69 now and it hasn't happened to me for years and years, but when I was young and living in Mexico, boy oh boy!

[keithbvadu2]

65. His family/staff knew it but did not warn women about him? His younger family women?

His family/staff knew it but did not warn women about him? His younger family women?

[Cal Carpenter]

66. Maybe you should have rehearsed this post in your mind,

realized how patronizing and off-base it sounds, and then hit back space rather than post...

[fierywoman]

67. I yelled this in the metro in Mexico City

in a very crowded car. A man was exposing himself -- I was sitting in a sideways seat and he was at my knee. I yelled (in my gringa spanish):
WHY IS THE PENIS OUTSIDE OF YOUR PANTS???

Only I was flustered and instead of calling his member "el" (masculine), I said "la" (feminine.) The whole car roared with laughter and you have never seen anyone disappear so quickly through a crowded train car.
I think whether or not one can yell depends on the circumstances, and that starts with the safety of the woman.

[rateyes]

70. My 16 year old daughter (at the time) came out

to my car when I was picking her up at the gym one afternoon, obviously fuming. I asked her what had happened. Seemed an 18 yr old guy had played grab ass with her. I asked who it was and started to get out of the car to confront that creep. My daughter said, "no need, Dad, I took care of it!" I asked what she did. She said, "I turned around and slapped the shit out of his face and told him 'you ever touch me again, you son-of-a-bitch, I will kill you!" Proud of that girl!

[xeodtech]

71. My Dad a Psychiatrist.

Last edited Thu Oct 26, 2017, 07:12 PM - Edit history (1)

As dementia set in in he did get a little perverted. I hope that we can excuse this from GWB.. I don't agree with him but he is really really old and this is nothing compared to our pervert and chief.. NOT NEWS...

[zeusdogmom]

82. Every situation and every woman is different

What works for one person or situation does. it necessarily transfer to the next.

As a HS student w-a-y back in the previous century, I was harassed every day one winter in the hall way by one particular creepy dude. Telling him to stop was a waste of breath - it just egged him on. So one day I was carrying a purse with a pretty solid frame. He came up behind me, grabbed my butt and I swung my purse back and hit him square on hard in his junk. Needless it say it stopped him cold in his tracks. Never bothered me again. The sniggers of his friends was priceless. 😄

[MineralMan]

87. Bottom line: If I know that you have been assaulted,

I will respond to the situation. If I do not know, I do not know. I am not alone in this. Sound the alarm. That's all I am saying. If there is no alarm, there will be no timely response, because nobody will know anything happened.

[dlk]

89. Great Suggestion, Unless the Perverted Creep is Your Boss and Will Fire You or Retaliate.

[sprinkleeninow]

92. What prompted this thread. Old man Poppy? weinstein?

[Gabi Hayes]

93. GWB and talk about this:

at the 1988 Republican Convention, Hartford Courant
associate editor David Fink struck up a conversation with George W.
"When you're not talking politics," Fink asked the vice president's
son, "what do you and [your father] talk about?

Remember?

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/419325.html

[librechik]

97. These guys are cunning criminals. They get you alone so they are safe.

But thanks for the suggestion. I think most of us know this already.