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Wed Nov 8, 2017, 06:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-21: Wheel Of Corruption: Dead Men Tell No Tales Edition

Last edited Fri Nov 10, 2017, 01:40 AM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-21: Wheel Of Corruption: Dead Men Tell No Tales Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Be sure to stop by your Local Top 10 dealer today for our December To Remember sales event. Well qualified lesses of similar Top 10 lists can take advantage of $3,000 cash back or special APR financing! We are back everybody! First off congratulations to the Houston Astros for winning the 2017 World Series. You were the best team this year and deserved it! Sorry Dodgers, you put up a great fight, and you can rest assured that your championship gear will be going to clothe Africa’s starving children. Hey miss, give it a chance, I just got up here. For you watching at home there’ s people already leaving! So we got to talk about some movies. And no not Thor: Ragnarok which is pretty damn awesome and one of Marvel’s best movies yet. But we instead got to talk about a movie that Rob Reiner made about former president LBJ. That’s Lyndon Baines Johnson. You know he was the guy who was president after Kennedy and before Nixon – when you could say our country really went to shit. But here’s what I love about this movie. If you didn’t notice, LBJ was a weird fucking dude. During the tenure of his presidency, this famous conversation was recorded.

That’s right – that’s an actual president of the United States telling the owner of a pants company not to make the crotch too tight! And he actually used the word "bunghole". Do your best Beavis & Butthead impression here! You could make the argument this is the point in American history where the bar was lowered for the presidency. That is, until January 20th, 2017! And we all know what happened there! Now why is this important to this story, you might ask? Because Rob Reiner incorporated this famous scene into the movie! Can we show that?

Yes that is awesome! I couldn’t love this more. I want to see this movie just so I can see this scene! OK that’s enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to cover this week! But first John Oliver is back and he talks about corporate tax incentives:

Hey everyone! The Wheel Of Corruption is back!!! Yay!!!! By the way – before we get into it this week – I want to warn you – we are *NOT* going to cover the Donna Brazile book. No. Not gonna do that. Not touching it with a 10 foot pole. Sigh… another week, another mass shooting. Oh my fucking god will it never end? But before we get into the gun nut insanity this week, we have to talk about how the GOP are the big losers in this election! Yes that was quite a thing of beauty yesterday and I know I will be breaking out my mug of conservative tears! In the second slot this week – we’re going to ask the question – the NRA A+ rating system: How is this still a thing? In the third slot this week is of course Dotard Trump. In the fourth slot we’re going to talk about his trip to Japan. In the third slot is Gun Nut Apologists (4). Because when a mass shooting happens, you can always count on the power of prayer. Not. In the fifth slot is the White Male Groper’s Club (5) which added some more high profile new members, and I think we got the cast for a new movie lined up! Plus the shit hit the fan with Kevin Spacey and House Of Cards. In the sixth slot is our now weekly sermon of all things holy as we report on all the craziness of the Christian right in “Holy Shit” (6). Speaking of the White Male Groper’s Club, in the number 7 spot is Rick Perry (7). Oh don’t you dare think we’re going to let him get away with some shockingly stupid comments about sexual assault now! In the number 8 slot is Papa John’s (8). So their CEO John Schnatter is also in some hot water over some amazingly stupid comments. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and we’re going to tell you about a crazy new product offering from Amazon. File this one under “What could go wrong?”. Finally this week its’ more of the Top 10 World Tour (10). This time we’re going to one of the biggest countries in the entire world. It’s the home of Bollywood, Ghandi, the Taj Mahal, Chicken Tikka, and all sorts of wildlife that could possibly kill you! I’m of course talking about India! Plus we have some live music for you from a little band I like to call the Foo Fighters! Their new album “Concrete And Gold” is one of the best albums of 2017, and if you don’t have it, well, get out of my audience. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The GOP
[br] [/font]

Come on everybody say it with me. It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

The wheel is back everybody! And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. Yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week we’ve got some all new items on the wheel! They will be:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Chance
- 5,000
- Infowars
- Nazis
- Go Directly To Jail
- Buy A Vowel
- North Korea
- Lawsuits
- Whammy
- Donald Trump
- People Are Dumb
- ‘Merica!
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- A Random Tweet
- 10,000
- Community Chest
- Talk Shows
- Clip Without Context
- Something Random In The News
- Fox News
- Polls
- Chance
- Intermission
- 15,000
- Bankrupt
- Golf
- Pirates
- Community Chest
- Florida (Obviously)
- This Fucking Guy
- Beating A Dead Horse
- Holy Shit
- Guacamole ($1.50 Extra)
- Double Whammy
- T-Shirt Cannon
- ? (Mystery Item)
- I Need A Drink
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin it to win it! And it lands on…. No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy.. .stop! Clip without context!

What would a fundie riot look like? And by the way if there’s no band starting tomorrow called “Fundie Riot”, I will have lost faith in the internet! Spin it again! And it lands on… polls! Congratulations, GOP, you won “The Biggest Loser!”. Here’s our lovely Kimberly to tell you what you’ve won! Well, they didn’t win anything apparently. So you know who the biggest loser in this week’s elections were? Why it’s none other than Virginia’s Ed Gillespie. Let’s explain further. And by the way we’re going to need extra Ha Has and Sad Hulk Music for this one!

This morning I wrote, “if Ed Gillespie loses, some Republicans will want to blame Trump, and he’ll deserve a share of the blame, but it’s a pretty limited share.” That assertion may need revision, with not merely Gillespie and the rest of the statewide ticket losing, but the Republicans in the Virginia state legislature getting demolished. At this hour, Republicans are in danger of losing control of the House of Delegates, where they entered Election Day with a seemingly comfortable 17-seat margin.

Corey Stewart and the Trump-ified faction of the Virginia GOP will insist tonight’s dismal defeat stems from Gillespie’s alleged Establishment squishiness, while northern Virginia Republicans will argue it’s because Gillespie sounded Trump-like with his hard-edged focus and ads on illegal immigration and crime. They may both have a point, as Gillespie’s getting the worst of both worlds: The margins in red rural counties are about the same as 2016, but the turnout is “meh” and Republicans are just getting crushed in the suburbs. It’s not just the ones closest to Washington, D.C.; Northam is beating Gillespie by about a 20-point margin in Loudon and Prince William Counties.

But the key lesson of the night goes far beyond Gillespie. Right now, the Republican party’s brand in Virginia is dirt. Throw in the failure to make New Jersey even remotely competitive, and tonight is about as bad as it can get for the GOP – a sense of déjà vu from the results across the country 2006 and 2008.

Oh man that felt good didn’t it! Can we do it again please? I mean come on, this is the year of Trump. And here’s one of the more surprising results of this week’s Virginia elections:

Danica Roem, 32, didn’t want her campaign for the Virginia General Assembly to become about her being transgender. But to some extent, it was inevitable.

Roem would be the first out transgender politician to win and get seated in any state legislature, and her opponent, Republican Del. Bob Marshall, recently sponsored a bill to restrict transgender people’s access to bathrooms. Plus, Marshall keeps bringing up the issue.

On a conservative radio show last month, Marshall said Roem “clearly is a male,” calling her “he” and saying her behavior “goes against the laws of nature and nature's God.”

Yes – a trans woman beat out a bigoted transphobe! I mean could this possibly get any better than that? Well this sent the fundies’ underwear in a wad as they were scrambling to explain this one. I think we might need the Sad Hulk Music for this one.

Virginia Delegate Bob Marshall, a conservative culture warrior, has attracted the attention and money of anti-LGBTQ groups in his fight for reelection against Danica Roem, a former reporter who is a transgender woman.

So it was only fitting that Marshall took time on Election Day today to call into Bryan Fischer’s nationally broadcast American Family Radio program, where Fischer praised him for “standing in the way” of progressives’ “deviant agenda” to have transgender people run for public office.

Calling supporters of trans rights the “equivalent of flat earthers,” Fischer told Marshall that “they’re looking at this as the thin edge of the wedge to start pushing transgenders into public office, and right now you’re the one standing in the way of their deviant agenda.”

You know Bryan – the only one in this story with the “deviant agenda” is you. Your politics of fear and hatred are getting you nowhere! And they will be the end of you! So the Virginia GOP were the big losers this week. Now let’s go up north to New Jersey. You know – the state that has given us Snooki, and Donald Trump stage prop Chris Christie, and the New York Jets.

Washington (CNN)Democrats have won key races in Virginia and New Jersey, CNN projects, their first major wins during the tenure of President Donald Trump and a boost heading into the 2018 midterms, when control of US House and Senate will be up for grabs.
The blue wave along the East Coast saw Ralph Northam winning the governor's race in Virginia and Phil Murphy victorious in New Jersey. Democrats are also on pace to capture control of the Virginia General Assembly, and several liberals, including New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio won their mayoral elections.
Virginia's gubernatorial contest was the first major test of Democrats' ability to rebound after Trump's victory. The fundamentals of the state were in their favor: Under Democratic Gov. Terry McAuliffe, unemployment is lower than the national average, and voters have generally told pollsters that they see the commonwealth as on the right track while the nation is on the wrong track.

Yeah how awesome is this? And you know who the other biggest loser was in this election? Bet you didn’t think it was going to be him, did you? Yeah, sure, the fundamentalists got told to go straight to hell. But he’s the real biggest loser in all of this!

Trump is a deeply unpopular president, and his party is in serious danger of losing control of the House, many of its down-ballot offices, and conceivably even the Senate.

To be sure, Virginia has unique demographic qualities that may have enhanced the power of the anti-Trump wave. It is a racially diverse state with a high proportion of college-educated voters. But there are many House Republicans from districts with similar demographic profiles – in New Jersey, New York, California, among other places. The suburbs alone could offer up enough Republican defeats to flip the House in 2018.

What is remarkable is that the Republican plan to avert this catastrophe is to inflict economic hardship on these very constituents. The party has convinced itself that the solution to its unpopularity is to vote through an unpopular plan to combine tax cuts for corporations and rich people with tax increases on a large minority of the middle class. The highest doses of fiscal pain of the Republican plan would be concentrated on upper middle-class voters who live in blue states – like, say, New Jersey, New York, and California.


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[font size="8"]The NRA [/font]

Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Something random in the news!

EDGEWATER, Fla. - A church in Edgewater is changing its sign after a message about forgiveness was misinterpreted by many in the community as a sexual innuendo.

Of course it’s Florida! Excuse me a minute… Spin it again! How Is This Still A Thing?

Time Once Again For:

This week: The NRA A+ Rating System. How is this still a thing? Yet another week and another mass shooting, and the chicken shits in Congress refuse to do anything about gun control, because they take the phrase “Shall Not Be Infringed” just a little too literally. In fact, this shooting happened in Texas – the home of the most godly and most manly senator Ted Cruz. Who earned an A+ rating from the National Rifle Association.

A gunman opened fire Sunday at a small Baptist church in the tiny town of Sutherland, Texas, killing at least 26 people and wounding close to 30 more.

The mass shooting taking place just a month after the deadly Las Vegas shooting, where 58 were killed and 500 more injured, joining a long list of mass shootings in the United States each year. According to the Gun Violence Archive database, the Sutherland shooting marks the 307th mass shooting so far in 2017. (The researchers define a mass shooting as one in which four or more people are killed or injured.)

Following the shooting, messages of support and heartbreak, including the predictable “thoughts and prayers” mantra, flooded social media. One organization, however, has remained silent: the National Rifle Association. The gun group’s silence is deafening and revealing, particularly given that Texas’ lax gun control regulations likely aided the gunman in obtaining his firearms.

A database by Slate of gun regulations state-by-state gives Texas an “F” rating. Texas currently has no laws requiring background checks for private sales, no regulating of firearm registration and no ban on the purchase of assault weapons. The state does not have any restrictions on magazine capacity, nor does it have any restrictions on firearm ownership for the mentally ill. Texas also allows open carry with a permit and concealed carry on college campuses.

Yes, we also want to know WTF. Because…. WTF. In fact Texas isn’t the only state where the NRA got some big name contributions. But never mind that because the gun nuts have everyone in mind with their “thoughts and prayers”. Take a look at North Carolina:

As America once again debates its gun laws in the wake of a mass shooting, a new report has found North Carolina’s two U.S. senators among the top beneficiaries of money from the National Rifle Association.

Only one of the 535 members of Congress has gotten more help from the NRA than Republican Sen. Richard Burr, according to The Center for Responsive Politics. Only three, including Burr, got more than GOP Sen. Thom Tillis.

NRA groups have spent nearly $7 million on behalf of Burr. That includes $5.6 million that NRA groups spent last year against his Democratic opponent, Deborah Ross. That was more than the NRA spent against any candidate with the exception of Hillary Clinton.

And Tillis has gotten $4.5 million in help, including independent expenditures against his 2014 opponent, then-incumbent Democrat Kay Hagan.


That’s a jaw dropping, stunning level of hypocrisy there. In fact the NRA is bribing people on both sides of the aisle. So how is it that the NRA is able to get away with rating politicians like this? You know it’s like the school teacher who awards the hall monitor because he’s the hall monitor. But this hall monitor has bump stocks and semi automatic assault rifles. You know this is why we can’t have nice things in this country. Even most major newspapers are ready to get rid of the NRA influence on Congress:

Gathering on the House Floor to mark gun violence tragedies has become a common ritual. In the 477 days between the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando that left 49 dead and the Las Vegas shooting on Sunday that left 58 dead and over 500 injured there were 521 mass shootings in America.

So when, again and again and again, I bow my head and choke back tears, I can’t help but feel growing anger knowing that moments of silence are the beginning and end of the Congressional response to thousands of Americans being gunned down in the streets.

Offering “thoughts and prayers” without any substantive policy debate about how to reduce gun violence is part of a plan designed and implemented by the N.R.A. and the gun makers that fund it. The gun industry controls the Republican agenda on guns. It’s true in Washington and it’s true in Tallahassee where some of the most dangerous laws are rammed through.

But never mind that the NRA is passing some incredibly dangerous gun laws that led to the likes of Vegas and Texas. The sad fact of the matter is that the least presidential president in US history – Donald J. Trump – is not keeping track of how many deaths are caused by guns. But the world is.

After a Sunday shooting that left 26 people dead in a church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, President Donald Trump’s response followed the script of his previous responses to such incidents: These incidents happen because of the shooter’s “evil” character or “mental illness,” and that they are not related to U.S. gun laws.

Trump, currently on a four-country tour of Asia, was in Japan when news of suspected shooter Devin Patrick Kelly’s deadly rampage broke. Agence France Presse reported that this is all he had to say about it on Monday before pivoting to talking about reshaping U.S. trade agreements with Japan:

Trump called the ‘horrific shooting’ an ‘act of evil,’ ordering flags be flown half-staff at the White House and federal buildings. ‘Our hearts are broken but in dark times – and these are dark times – such as these, Americans do what they do best: we pull together,’ he said. Though he said ‘it’s a little bit soon to go into it’ regarding calls for gun control, the president promised his administration’s ‘full support’ for the investigation.

And what does all that lobbying get you, you might ask? While the US is in the problem of a country-wide gun addiction, guess what? The NRA wants to target (skip!) while they’re young. And we mean really young.

As the U.S. grapples with a serious gun problem, one state hopes to expand those who can possess a gun. Wisconsin's state assembly last week proposed legislation that would allow any resident, regardless of age, to legally hunt in the state.

The bill would specifically eliminate Wisconsin's minimum hunting age, according to the Associated Press.

The current law requires a resident to be at least 12 years old to purchase a hunting license or hunt with a gun. There is a program that allows children as young as 10 to hunt, as long as they are accompanied by an adult. But under that program, the adult and child are only allowed to share one weapon between the two.

The new, Republican-authored bill would allow people of any age to hunt and eliminates the rule that a hunter and "mentor" have only one firearm between them.

That’s right – baby hunters! Which we’re sure is most likely an animated Alec Baldwin comedy waiting to be made. That’s enough to make you ask: The NRA A+ Rating System:

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Entering the spin zone! And it lands on……………….. wait for it……… Clip without context!

So the solution for a church shooting is more church. Much like the solution to a drinking problem is more drinking. Got it. Let’s spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. So President Trump is out of the country right now. Can we pass some laws preventing him from coming back please???? But you know this is how parents must feel when their kids are off at summer camp – you know I got that extra spring in my step! So what’s Trump up to now that he’s in Japan?

"Try building your cars in the United States instead of shipping them over. Is that possible to ask? That's not rude. Is that rude? I don't think so," Trump told executives from local automakers during a trip to Japan.

At the same time, Trump thanked Japanese automakers for "building new plants and doing expansions" of existing facilities in the United States. He praised Toyota (TM) and Mazda (MZDAF) for planning a new $1.6 billion manufacturing plant in the U.S.

Trump has made reducing the $57 billion trade deficit with Japan a top priority.

But Japan's big three car companies have huge factories in the U.S., and their production in the country is at a record high. Japanese automakers have been increasing their investment in the U.S. for decades.

But Trump… actually is wrong there! Most foreign car manufacturers own plants in America! Like Nissan and Volkswagen in Tennessee, or Hyundai and Mercedes in Alabama, or Honda in Ohio. Of course those are all red, Trump supporting, right to work states, never mind that! And guess what? Trump also did not bow to the Japanese emperor!

U.S. President Donald Trump did not bow when he met Japan's emperor on Monday. Instead, Trump stooped and slightly tilted his head as a gesture of respect to the 83-year-old leader.

Bowing is an important sign of respect in Japan. However, U.S. presidents have been criticized at home for bowing, which can be seen as appearing less powerful. In 1994, President Bill Clinton bent forward with his hands together to meet Japan's emperor at the White House.

At the time, one White House official said"Presidents don't bow, and Emperors don't toast."

Trump really is the Larry David of presidents. Curb Your Enthusiasm had a great episode recently where Larry is invited to a dinner party with a soldier, and everyone introduces themselves and says “Thank you for your service”. But not Larry! He greets him with “Nice to meet you!”. D’oh!!!! That would be Trump. Everybody bows…. Trump. Nods. “I’m not into the bowing, OK? Bowing is for losers!”. And Mr. Art Of The Deal is at it again!

TOKYO — President Trump said on Monday that Japan could protect itself from a nuclear-armed North Korea by buying billions of dollars of American military equipment, drawing an explicit link between trade and security as he began a complex, politically charged tour of Asia.

By turns generous and challenging, Mr. Trump saluted Prime Minister Shinzo Abe as among his best friends in the club of world leaders. But he railed against what he said were chronic trade imbalances with Japan. And he implicitly acknowledged his disappointment that Mr. Abe did not shoot down missiles that North Korea recently fired over Japan.

“He will shoot them out of the sky when he completes the purchase of lots of additional military equipment from the United States,” Mr. Trump said, standing alongside Mr. Abe at the Akasaka Palace in Tokyo. “The prime minister of Japan is going to be purchasing massive amounts of military equipment, as he should.”

Well, if there’s one thing the US does well, it’s make things that kill people! Thank you! And speaking of Trump party fouls, you don’t bring a sword to a nuclear missile fight!

President Donald Trump has headed to Japan at the head of an 11-day Asian tour, with last-ditch efforts to resolve the North Korean nuclear crisis before it spirals out of control at the top of the agenda. And, true to form, the guy is not exactly being a confidence builder with respect to his understanding of missile defense systems.

According to the Japan Times, diplomatic sources confirm that with a Monday meeting with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe looming, our very lucid leader has set low expectations with complaints that “he could not understand why a country of samurai warriors did not shoot down the missiles.” Aside from the fact that this is essentially a racist stereotype and katanas, no matter how well made, cannot shoot down a missile, there are numerous technical reasons why Japan’s Self-Defense Forces stood down.

Oops! Did we do that? But as Mr. Art Of The Deal knows, he is busy building armies and putting them against each other because he’s playing a really fucked up game of Civilization where one superpower can take over the world by putting them against each other!

Wrapping up a visit here before flying to South Korea, President Trump called for Japan to buy U.S. anti-missile batteries to counter the growing ballistic missile threat from North Korea, saying buying more U.S. military equipment would create more jobs for Americans and increase security for the Japanese.

"He will shoot them out of the sky when he completes the purchase of a lot of military equipment from the United States," Trump said Monday during a news conference with Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

Trump pointedly teased Abe over the trade deficit between the two countries, and seemed to advocate a military buildup as a way to close the gap.

"It's a lot of jobs for us, and a lot of safety for Japan, and other countries that are likewise purchasing military equipment from us,” Trump said. At another point, he complimented the Japanese economy, but said: "I don’t know if it’s as good as ours. I think not. OK? We’re going to try to keep it that way. And you’ll be second.”

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Ooh that was a good spin right there. And it lands on… go directly to jail? No!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I have to give this entry from a jail cell. Spin it again. Guns. So if there’s one thing you can always count on during a mass shooting is that the Christian right is going to tell people that prayer is the number one solution to everything. But hey guess what? It happened in a church! These people were already on their knees praying for forgiveness! And here’s what our Speaker Of The House and after picture in a Jenny Craig ad, Paul Ryan had to say about this:

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) is defending his call for prayers after a gunman killed 26 people in a Texas church on Sunday.

Ryan and other politicians have been criticized for offering thoughts and prayers instead of legislative action to reduce gun violence. But on Monday night, Ryan told Fox News host Laura Ingraham:

“It’s disappointing, it’s sad, and this is what you’ll get from the far secular left. People who do not have faith don’t understand faith, I guess I’d have to say. And it is the right thing to do is to pray in moments like this, because you know what? Prayer works. And I know you believe that, and I believe that and when you hear the secular left doing this thing, it’s no wonder you have so much polarization and disunity in this country when people think like that.”

To which I’m sure that was Jesus’ exact reaction. I mean how stupid can you get? Or is this just a way of saying “fuck you, we’re not going to do anything!”. But would you really be surprised that Trump is making this about anything but the guns? If you think anything else, the door is that way!

Stricter gun controls could have resulted in more deaths during the Texas church shooting massacre because a neighbor might not have been able to shoot the gunman, President Trump said Tuesday.

Trump, speaking at a news conference in South Korea, was asked if he would be willing to use "extreme vetting" for people who want to buy a gun, similar to the "extreme vetting" he has discussed for people coming to the United States.

Trump replied that stricter gun controls would have made "no difference" in the carnage Sunday at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas. Devin Kelley, 26, fatally shot 26 people and wounded 20 more during a service at the rural church outside San Antonio.

Trump added that stricter gun controls might have kept Stephen Willeford, who lived near the church, from intervening in the massacre.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So you know Trump is always the type of guy you can count on for compassionate conservatism in a time of tragedy like this which seems to be happening once a week now. And you can bet when the next shooting happens, you can count on him for advice like this:

"Instead of having 26 dead he would've had hundreds more dead," Trump said.

Trump has called for "extreme vetting" of immigrants from Muslim-majority countries in response to terrorist incidents. But he has resisted any action on gun laws in response to the deadly mass shootings that have occurred during his time in office.
Trump added that "the city with the strongest gun laws in our nation is Chicago. And Chicago is a disaster. A total disaster."
Sunday's church massacre where 26 people were killed took place in Sutherland Springs, Texas. It marks the deadliest shooting in Texas history, with victims ranging in age from 17 months to 77 years old.

I mean come on you know it’s bad when the most interesting man in the world does it! When 17 month old BABIES are murdered this is a problem. And the faith based crowd I’m sure will say they deserved it because that’s what Jesus would want. What? It’s still a while before I do Holy Shit! But while on the subject of Gun Nut Apologists, there’s Rush Limbaugh who’s saying this about where terrorists really come from:

Conservative host Rush Limbaugh accused the Democratic Party of producing “terrorists” on Monday.

“Terrorists do not always just come from Uzbekistan,” he said on his radio show, presumably referring to the native country of the man who killed eight people in a truck attack in New York City last week. “They don’t just come from Afghanistan. They don’t just come from al Qaeda. Sometimes, terrorists come straight from the Democrat Party, straight from the American left.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And by the way, if you really want to annoy a conservative, just correct them when they call it “The Democrat Party”. It’s pronounced DEMOCRATIC, and you should have learned the “IC” in first grade grammar! But the right is very feverently banging the Civil War drums, and it’s getting scary. Like there’s this jackass who leads a group called “The Oath Keepers”. Arming yourselves in church! What a great idea!

Writing on the Oath Keepers’ website, the group’s founder Stewart Rhodes reacted to Sunday’s mass shooting at a church in Texas by tying it to the supposed “civil war” that he thought far-left activists would try to start on Saturday and by urging all men to go armed at all times and station armed security teams outside of every church.

Rhodes, like others on the far-right, speculated that the shooting was perpetrated by “a Christian hating leftist terrorist,” connecting it with the violent left-wing uprising he and others predicted might occur on November 4, saying, “we may see hardcore leftists become discouraged by the failure of Nov 4 then decide to go full on Weather Underground style terrorist and target conservatives and anyone else they see as being on the political right.”

“But whether he had planned this for some time or was reacting to the failure of the Nov 4 launch of a supposed mass movement to remove Trump, our response must be the same,” Rhodes wrote. That response being to be armed “at all times, in all places,” including church:

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[font size="8"]White Male Groper’s Club
[br] [/font]

Spin it to win it! And it lands on…. Wait for it… clip without context!

Really? Pizzagate is still a thing? Even Alex Jones said that was bullshit! Time to move along, assholes! Spin it again! Sex. You know we’re just now starting to learn the extent of the damage the White Male Groper’s Club is doing. And Kevin Spacey is quite possibly one of the biggest scumbags alive. Which pains me to say – I love him as an actor, and this year I loved the movie Baby Driver, and I also love House Of Cards. But you know last week he said this:

I mean really – he literally glossed over the fact that he’s gay. I mean it’s like when you watch those pharmaceutical commercials and they start listing a hundred million side effects, and they just casually gloss over death. “Side effects of Frolialis include heart disease, liver fatigue, exhaustion and in some cases death. Do not take Frolialis if you have had any transplanted organs.” Death isn’t a minor side effect of the drug – death is a major side effect of the drug! I mean really, let’s get real, Glaxo! You can’t just gloss over that shit! Who are you trying to fool? Well he didn’t fool the producers of House Of Cards, that’s for damn sure!

Kevin Spacey sexually assaulted one production assistant on the “House of Cards” set and otherwise created a “toxic” work environment through a pattern of sexual harassment that targeted young male crew members, according to a CNN report published late Thursday afternoon.

CNN interviewed eight people who are current or past employees of the Netflix drama, and all eight described Spacey’s behavior on the set as “predatory.” They said it included “nonconsensual touching and crude comments.”

“I have no doubt that this type of predatory behavior was routine for him and that my experience was one of many and that Kevin had few if any qualms about exploiting his status and position,” said the production assistant, who alleged that Spacey sexually assaulted him during one of the show’s early seasons.

Holy shit! How has he not been arrested yet? I mean he could go to prison for the rest of his life if any of these cases are taken to court! Well, maybe jail probably isn’t the best place for him. You know – given the stereotypes the right wing has about prison. But at least he’ll have some good company!

EXCLUSIVE, UPDATED: As claims against Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey remain fresh, Jeremy Piven, star of the new CBS drama series Wisdom of the Crowd, today found himself in the spotlight of sexual harassment allegations. On Monday, reality TV personality/actress Ariane Bellamar made specific accusations on social media that Piven groped her on the set of Entourage and at the Playboy Mansion several years ago.

“We are aware of the media reports and are looking into the matter,” a CBS spokesperson said in a statement to Deadline on Tuesday.

The network offered no additional details of what form or function any investigation was taking. Wisdom of the Crowd, from CBS TV Studios, is still be in production on its original 13-episode order.

Well one thing we’re learning this week is that it doesn’t matter what race, sex or orientation you run with, anyone can be a member of the White Male Groper’s Club! And it seems Hollywood is full of them! But here’s the difference between Spacey and Jeremy Piven – with as big of a creep as these two are, at least Spacey is man enough to admit his faults.

In a statement made to Entertainment Weekly Tuesday, Piven denied Bellamar's claims.

"I unequivocally deny the appalling allegations being peddled about me. It did not happen,” Piven said. “It takes a great deal of courage for victims to come forward with their histories, and my hope is that the allegations about me that didn’t happen, do not detract from stories that should be heard."

HBO responded to Bellamar's accusations with a statement Tuesday confirming that it was the first time it was hearing of the incident that purportedly took place during the filming of "Entourage."

“Today, via the press reports, is the first we are hearing about Ariane Bellamar’s allegations concerning Jeremy Piven," the statement read. "Everyone at HBO and our productions is aware that zero tolerance for sexual harassment is our policy. Anyone experiencing an unsafe working environment has several avenues for making complaints that we take very seriously.”

Of course he’s going to deny it! So you’ve got Spacey and Piven. Two pretty awesome actors who it turns out are creepy perverts! We need a director in this mix!

Six women, including actors Olivia Munn and Natasha Henstridge, alleged that producer and director Brett Ratner sexually harassed or assaulted them, according to a new Los Angeles Times report.

The Rush Hour and X Men: The Last Stand director, who denies all of the claims, is the latest Hollywood heavyweight to be accused of sexual misconduct following dozens of allegations made against Harvey Weinstein (who denies some, but not all, of the claims.) Ratner’s attorney did not immediately respond to TIME’s request for comment.

Munn claims that Ratner masturbated in front of her in 2004 and told her years later that he ejaculated on magazine covers she was featured on. Munn wrote about the 2004 incident in her 2010 book, which prompted Ratner to claim in a 2011 interview that he “banged her a few times, but forgot her.” Ratner later said that he lied about sleeping with her.


So the White Male Groper’s Club has already cast it’s two lead actors and a director. How about a third actor? They can all 3 make a blockbuster movie no one will see because they will be making it behind bars!

After a former production assistant accused Dustin Hoffman of sexually harassing her on the set of Death of a Salesman, the director of the 1985 TV movie has released a statement saying that he has a different memory of Hoffman’s behavior during production. “Just watch Christian Blackwood’s wonderful documentary Private Conversations on the making of DOAS to check what a kidder Dustin was on the set, at all time, with everybody,” Volker Schlondorff wrote in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter. According to the director, Anna Graham Hunter, a 17-year-old high-school senior when she interned as a PA, took Hoffman’s actions too seriously. In a first-person essay for THR, complete with letters she wrote at the time detailing Hoffman’s behavior, Hunter said the actor asked for a foot massage, inquired about her sex life, and slapped her butt. Not quite, recalls Schlondorff: “Slapping her butt on the way to the car, with driver, stage manager and PAs around, may have happened, but again in a funny way, nothing lecherous about it,” he wrote. “[Hoffman] was a clown, it was part of the way we portrayed Willy Loman as well — but he never played the power play.”

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy.. . stop! Pirates! Folks, sorry, we have to say goodbye to our Pirates Of The Caribbean themed Wheel Of Corruption editions as this is the grand finale for this season. What? It had to end at some point! So let’s watch some Jack Sparrow clips and commemorate the completion of the series!

Spin it again! Holy shit! Yes friends, gather around friends! Pass the collection plate, friends! Yay, in these troubled times, we turn to the holiest among us. But even then we realize that the holiest among us are full of…

Yay, I had considered not doing this sermon this week due to the shocking events in Texas, but doing our due diligence on the holiest among us, I feel that we need to! For instance there’s this douchebag, Theodore Shoebat, who is channeling his inner Adolf Hitler:

Extremist right-wing activist Theodore Shoebat responded to yesterday’s mass shooting at a church in Texas by posting a video on his website in which he said that atheists in America must be subjected to an inquisition and put to death.

Shoebat, who was featured in a radically anti-gay documentary in 2015 along with various Religious Right activists and Republican elected officials, declared that the fact that the man responsible for the deadly attack was reportedly an atheist shows that atheism represents a dire threat to Christians in America and must be dealt with harshly.

“Sodomites and atheists need to be purged from society,” Shoebat said. “Sodomites automatically need to be put to death, that’s a no-brainer because they have already committed the crime of homosexuality. Atheists, on the other hand, they need to be inquisited, bottom line. They need to be inquisited and I think that when you have atheist enclaves in society, when you have atheist strongholds in society, atheist establishments that are very influential and when you see how fanatic they are, how much they hate Christianity, how much they hate God, how much they hate the church, you really can’t tolerate people like that and those people need the death penalty.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I’m sure a joke like that would probably drive him batshit insane! I don’t remember that part in the Bible? Yay, let’s read up – Two Corinthians Chapter 12, Verse 4: “I knoweth what thou art thinking – dost thou prayeth six times or only five?”. Thank you! But no... the church shooting was not that, it was the fault of... thine dirty communists!

End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles said on his “TruNews” television program last night that the left was responsible for the recent mass shooting at a church in Texas and warned Christians to prepare for the day when they are murdered in the streets by communist revolutionaries being controlled by Barack Obama.

“The mass killings of peaceful Christian families in church on Sunday mornings are what America’s political left has given this nation,” Wiles said. “Since 1962, there has been a relentless ongoing war of hatred in the USA against God and Christianity. The religious war has been supported by America’s courts and judges, Hollywood, the entertainment industry, the news media, academia, and the Democratic Party. Fifty-five years later, we have church carpets soaked in blood. Oh, America, how much more of this religious war against God are you going to tolerate? Will you remain silent until your children are bleeding on the church floor too?”

“A dark, sinister entity controlled by Lucifer is behind these mass shootings,” he warned. “These events are not happening at random by mentally ill people. You may not realize it, but the USA is engulfed in a communist revolution. I’ve been warning about it since 2008, with the election of communist street organizer Barry Soetoro, alias Barack Hussein Obama, and I assure you he is behind all of this Resist Trump movement going on right now.”

I mean… JAYSUS!!!!! And yay, we mentioned our esteemed speaker of the house already. But these people are insanely convinced that thine shooter may be a member of Antifa. Because… they really are deranged! There is Sandy Rios, who gave thine jaw-dropping explanation:

Religious Right radio host Sandy Rios questioned yesterday whether law enforcement officials were being honest about whether a man who committed a mass shooting at a Texas church last weekend was connected to Antifa, claiming that he dressed the part and was an atheist.

On her radio show yesterday, Rios questioned the information that has been reported about the man who shot and killed 26 people in a Texas church last weekend, citing debunked rumors of a planned violent left-wing uprising and the shooter’s alleged atheism.

“Remember, I told you probably a month ago—now this is just speculation on my part—but Antifa was planning on having some sort of an all-out assault on American soil,” Rios said.

And then there beith Alex Jones, who doubled down on Sandy Rios' theory about the shooter being thine member of Antifa:

Alex Jones, infamous conspiracy theorist behind Infowars and friend of President Trump, claimed that the far-left group Antifa, along with mainstream media, gave permission to the man who shot and killed 26 people at a Texas church last weekend.

On “The Alex Jones Show” today, Jones was screaming about reports that the shooter had solicited romantic relationships with underage girls, claiming that the only thing the shooter knew was how to be a “little devil worshiper pedophile,” when he began addressing the deceased shooter directly.

“You know what, you little bastard? You’re dead now,” Jones said.

“You got your permission from Antifa and the media to go out—yeah, your mother-in-law is there and there are a bunch of Christians and you hate them and you’re a big leftist Antifa,” Jones said. “And you know what? You’ll kill two birds with one stone. You got permission to be a sack of crap. You’re going to go in there and kill a bunch of people.”

Seriously - even JAYSUS is embarassed by this shit! And then if you want to see the truly craziest among us, none are more paranoid than the Anti-Muslim wing of Christianity, which was DECLARED by the LORD OUR GOD!!!! To be the craziest among us!!! And he says “SATAN I STABBETH THEE!!!!!” Because you know who is really responsible for the Texas shooting? Well...

During a recent appearance on Gordon Klingenschmitt’s “Pray In Jesus Name” program, right-wing activist Matt Barber said that People For the American Way, the Southern Poverty Law Center, the American Civil Liberties Union, Americans United for Separation of Church and State and other organizations were partially responsible for the church shooting in Texas last weekend that left more than 20 people dead.

“We need to look at the bigger picture here,” Barber said. “This thing didn’t happen in a vacuum. We need to understand that it is this anti-Christian climate here in the United States … This was a man who hated Jesus, he hated Christians and he literally was engaged in an act of war against Christians.”

“What spurred him on? What caused him to do this?” Barber asked, linking the Texas massacre to the shooting at the Family Research Council in 2012, which right-wing activists routinely blame on the SPLC. “I’m not going to say this is all in the lap of the Southern Poverty Law Center, but Antifa, Black Lives Matter, the SPLC, groups like People For the American Way, Americans United Against Separation of Church and State [sic], the ACLU—don’t forget, Roger Baldwin famously said, ‘Communism is the goal’—communism is atheism, atheism is communism, it’s leftism, they hate Christians, they hate Christianity. So we are seeing a climate of anti-Christian hate and bigotry that I think was the foundation, perhaps even the justification, that this monster used in his own mind to rationalize taking out these precious souls and followers of Christ Jesus.”

Now what is it about the Christian right that seems to attract the craziest of the crazy? The cream of the batshit! And thine batshit must be extra creamy! Yeah, that sounds pretty disgusting, I know! But what about it would maketh thine constituents that crazy? I ask you good people of the Top 10 Congregation! Maybe it’s a lack of anti depressants! Or maybe too much, I don’t know how it works with the alt right!

ROBERTSON: He's mentally unstable. But I hope and pray they don't politicize this thing and start talking about gun control and all that because it won't be necessary. But I do think there's got to be a thorough investigation into the effect of antidepressants on these [inaudible]. And they've been so many of these mass killings and almost every one, as I said before, has had some nexus to antidepressants. So, we need to see what we are giving people. But my goodness, our prayers are with those people from that small community in Texas. The worst shooting -- church shooting -- in the history of the United States of America.

Yes.. WTF, lol. Now it is time to pass thine collection plate! Now let me assure my sons and daughters of the Top 10 Congregation… can I get a fuckin’ A? Yes! But let’s assure you that this shall never happen again! For thine self shall be protected from gun attacks by more gun attacks, because that’s what the LORD OUR GOD would want!!!

Conservative megachurch Pastor Robert Jeffress, who once claimed former President Barack Obama was the harbinger of the Antichrist and who once said he’d vote for Donald Trump over Jesus Christ for president, appeared on “Fox & Friends” Monday morning to talk about the horrific church shooting that occurred in Texas this past weekend.

During the interview, Jeffress said that having parishioners come into church heavily armed with guns was one way to prevent tragedies like the one that occurred at a church on Sunday in Sutherland Springs, Texas.

When co-host Steve Doocy asked Jeffress if it was common for Christian gun owners to leave their guns with them in their cars before going into church, the pastor replied that “it’s certainly not common in our church” before going on to boast about how heavily armed his parishioners are.

Yay, mass has ended! May you go in peace! Or pieces, depending on whether or not your church alloweth thine shotgun! That is it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Rick Perry
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Let’s spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… intermission!

OK we’re back! Spin it again! And it lands on… Sex. So Rick Perry, remember him as the guy who couldn’t name three branches of government that he wanted to cut? Or maybe you remember him from TV’s “Dancing With The Stars”, or maybe you remember him as the former governor of Texas. Well, this week, you will remember him for saying this:

Energy Secretary Rick Perry has been reliable for saying and doing ridiculous things ever since he was just a first-term governor way back in 2000, but he really stepped in it on Thursday when he claimed that increasing the use of fossil fuels in Africa will reduce the number of sexual assaults on women.

Perry, who just returned from a trip to South Africa last week, was speaking at an event run by Axios, a new online news site, when a protester yelled that fossil fuels are causing climate change and killing people in poor countries.

Dude, seriously, Rick, you know why they’re called “fossil fuels”? Because the companies who produce these fuels are run by fossils! I mean you want to know the kind of caliber person who runs an energy company like that, just take a look at Don Blankenship who runs Massey Energy:

The Supreme Court is leaving in place the conviction of ex-Massey Energy CEO Don Blankenship for misdemeanor conspiracy to violate federal safety standards at a West Virginia mine where 29 miners died in 2010.

The court declined Tuesday to take up Blankenship’s case. Blankenship, who recently finished a one-year prison term, had asked the court to review his conviction, which a federal appeals court upheld in January.

Blankenship had said he’s “more than 100 percent innocent” and the case was colored by emotion and publicity. He says natural gas caused the explosion at the Upper Big Branch Mine, and the trial judge erred in instructing the jury and limiting cross-examination.

Or how about these winners who run the controversial two-person Whitefish Energy Company based in Richard Spencer’s hometown of Whitefish, Montana?

BALDWINSVILLE, N.Y. -- The CEO of a company that received a highly scrutinized contract to restore power to Puerto Rico was born and raised in Baldwinsville.

Andrew Techmanski's company, Whitefish Energy Holdings in Montana, was recently awarded a $300 million contract for restoration of Puerto Rico, which was devastated by Hurricane Maria.

On Sunday, though, the head of Puerto Rico's power company said the agency will cancel the contract.

The contract drew scrutiny because the company had only two employees when it was awarded and is headquartered in the hometown of Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke. (The company has since rapidly hired 300 more employees.)

So if that’s the kind of caliber person that Africa is counting on to lead them into prosperity, no wonder they’re still left in the dark! I mean Rick Perry’s comments about assault are so jaw-droppingly stupid that they buried the lead on this story which is this:

Perry's proposal would not affect Texas, since Texas has its own electric power market, regulated by the Electric Reliability Council of Texas. Electric power markets in the rest of the United States are regulated by the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, and would be affected. So perhaps the best possible spin is that Perry is trying to give Texas an advantage by burdening the rest of the country with harmful policies.

It is so common for politicians to say they believe in free markets while promoting government controls that it seems they have forgotten what free means. Free market economics asserts that there is greater cumulative accuracy in the real-time decisions made by millions of Americans through markets than in the decrees of a small handful of bureaucrats. It means bottom-up decision making is smarter than top-down dictates from those who assume themselves to be our betters. And it especially means government shouldn't determine favored outcomes by rigging the rules. Yet that is exactly what Perry's proposal would do to the rest of the country's electrical generation market.

So in case you are wondering how Rick Perry’s comments fit into this and how absolutely wrong he is, he couldn’t be more stupid. Rather than have him be the head of the EPA, I’d much rather see him back on Dancing With The Stars! You know who else leaves the light on for you? Motel 6!

Secretary of Energy Rick Perry raised more than a few eyebrows at a Thursday event in Washington, D.C., when he drew a connection between developing fossil fuels and ending sexual assault. "From the standpoint of sexual assault—when the lights are on...you have light that shines the righteousness, if you will, on those types of acts," Perry said.

Shortly after Perry made this statement, advocates from the Sierra Club, an environmental nonprofit, called for him to resign. "It was already clear that Rick Perry is unfit to lead the Department of Energy, but to suggest that fossil fuel development will decrease sexual assault is not only blatantly untrue, it is an inexcusable attempt to minimize a serious and pervasive issue," Sierra Club Executive Director Michael Brune wrote in a statement. The serious and pervasive issue Brune's talking about is climate change—something fossil fuels have been inextricably linked to in scientific study after scientific study.

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[font size="8"]Papa John’s
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By the way, before we do this entry, I do have to say that we’re going to cut the entry this week on Alex Jones and the JFK files and Antifa, but we’ll save that one for next week. Now back to the show. Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No, a whammy!!!!

Spin it again. Racism. Pizza. That thing you want to eat all day every day. Yes there’s nothing quite like a double cheese and pepperoni pizza. Or a triple cheese and triple pepperoni pizza! And what better sport to watch while you eat pizza than football? Well, the GOP and their official propaganda outlet Fox News are keeping this bullshit controversy of the NFL kneeling protests alive despite that 98% of the country is sick of it and has already moved on to the next outrage. But not Papa John’s!

If you ask the CEO of Papa John’s, there’s a straight line from his pizza company’s sagging third-quarter earnings through the NFL’s national anthem demonstrations to what he says is “poor leadership” at the top in the NFL.

“This should have been nipped in the bud a year and a half ago,” John Schnatter said in prepared remarks (via Chris Otts of WDRB.com). “Like many sponsors, we are in contact with the NFL and once the issue is resolved between the players and the owners, we are optimistic that the NFL’s best years are ahead. But good or bad, leadership starts at the top, and this is an example of poor leadership.”

Although he did not name Commissioner Roger Goodell by name, Schnatter said that the practice of players kneeling during the anthem to raise awareness of police brutality and social injustice could have been stopped back when Colin Kaepernick began doing it during preseason games in the summer of 2016. Instead, players continued to do so in response to violence across the country and President Trump ramped up the conversation, calling for NFL owners to fire any “son of a bitch” who did not stand for the anthem.

Yeah Papa John’s – the pizza choice of drunken frat boys everywhere! You know it’s maybe a slight step above Domino’s cardboard with ketchup on it that they call pizza. Papa John’s is cardboard with ketchup, with an extra packet of high fructose corn syrup they somehow refer to as garlic sauce! Which by the way prompted a huge sales war with its’ competitors including Pizza Hut and DiGiorno!

Let America’s long-awaited pizza war begin.

Gauntlets are being thrown, lines are being drawn and the battle fields are already littered with uneaten crusts and pools of garlic sauce.

In all seriousness, national pizza chains have been in the news this week after Papa John’s Pizza CEO John Schnatter blamed poor sales on “poor leadership” in the National Football League for reacting too slowly to protests of racial inequality and police brutality by National Football League players during the national anthem before games.

NFL spokesman Joe Lockhart declined to comment on Schnatter's comments. And now Pizza Hut is hijacking the story. Here’s how it started.

"The NFL has hurt us and, more importantly, by not resolving the current debacle to the [players' and owners'] satisfaction, NFL leadership has hurt Papa John's," John Schnatter said on Tuesday during an earnings call.

This is the kind of hijacking story I love – when a competitor decides to go against the other guy’s message! You know it’s like that scene from Scarface where they’re going over the rules and the second rule is never underestimate the other guy’s greed! Although in this case you’re perfectly OK to get high on your own supply! But what do actual NFL players think of Papa John’s crap?

The NFL has been blamed for many things this season. The latest controversy involves Papa John’s, a league sponsor, blaming the demonstrations made by players during the national anthem Wednesday for its poor third quarter sales growth. Papa John’s stock was down about 12 percent in trading Wednesday, and CEO John Schnatter said, “NFL leadership has hurt Papa John’s shareholders. This should have been nipped in the bud a year and a half ago.”

The Washington Post’s Wonkblog team sees Schnatter’s claim as a stretch. Pizza Hut’s CEO added that his chain hasn’t seen “any impact” on the anthem demonstrations affecting business, while the sales at Domino’s rose 8.4 percent during the third quarter. But Schnatter’s comments during the company’s quarterly earnings call has sparked a divisive question: Is Papa John’s even good?

The question has led many on social media to debate whether the product itself is the reason Papa John’s has struggled of late. So we asked 15 Redskins players to name their three favorite pizza chains. As you’d expect, there wasn’t a consensus.

Oh and by the way, we might want to cue the Sad Hulk Music for John’s latest plea. Because he’s whining about the Daily Stormer’s endorsement of Papa John’s!

Papa John’s Pizza has had a rough couple of weeks, which began when CEO John Schnatter seemed to suggest that the company’s flagging profits were the fault of protesting NFL players.

“The controversy is polarizing the customer, polarizing the country,” he said about the incidents in which players refused to stand for the national anthem, blaming NFL executives for showing “poor leadership” by not putting the kibosh on the protests, which were started to call attention to police brutality against black Americans.


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[font size="8"]Amazon
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Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Another clip without context!

Because nothing says “compassion” like watching rich old white men talking about women’s critical health issues! Spin it again! I need a drink! It’s now time for:

And man do I need a drink this week! Nothing like a good stiff drink after a mass shooting. Yeah that might come off as insensitive. But fuck it. We’re probably all going to die anyways so you might as well enjoy it, am I right? So my favorite bartender, what drink would go well with a home invasion? Some double malt scotch? Sure, I’ll take a nice glass of that! Because if my house is going to be robbed, I need to do some drinking! So why am I bringing this up? There’s a new product from Amazon that is getting a lot of press. We’ll explain.

Not at home? Not a problem. As a Prime member, you can get packages securely delivered into your home without being there. Plus, grant access to the people you trust, like your family, friends, dog walker, or house cleaner—no more leaving a key under the mat.
Secure access. The In-Home Kit features the Amazon Cloud Cam (Key Edition) indoor security camera and an Amazon Key-compatible smart lock.
Real-time notifications. We’ll send notifications the morning of delivery, just before, and right after. Watch your delivery happening live or view a video clip of it later.
Stop making spare keys. Give family and friends temporary, recurring, or permanent access. Or provide one-time access for your electrician or dog walker. You’re in control—just schedule the date and time window.

That’s right – Amazon is selling an easily hackable Wifi keypad and camera system! Gee, what could possibly go wrong? Well, a whole shit ton!

Twelve years ago, Amazon launched Prime, a subscription service that entitled members to free two-day shipping in the United States. Since then, it has added a number of options to make delivery faster and more convenient. Prime customers can get same-day delivery, and drop off with an hour or two on some items. Of course, customers aren’t always home to receive their packages. So Amazon started putting lockers in nearby convenience stores and building lobbies. It even showed off drones that could drop the package right into your backyard. Today it’s taking the obvious next step and introducing a service that will allow Amazon couriers to open your front door and put your package safely inside your home.

The service is called Amazon Key, and it relies on a Amazon’s new Cloud Cam and compatible smart lock. The camera is the hub, connected to the internet via your home Wi-Fi. The camera talks to the lock over Zigbee, a wireless protocol utilized by many smart home devices.

When a courier arrives with a package for in-home delivery, they scan the barcode, sending a request to Amazon’s cloud. If everything checks out, the cloud grants permission by sending a message back to the camera, which starts recording. The courier then gets a prompt on their app, swipes the screen, and voilà, your door unlocks. They drop off the package, relock the door with another swipe, and are on their way. The customer will get a notification that their delivery has arrived, along with a short video showing the drop-off to confirm everything was done properly.

Yeah skip! I mean this is the worst fears of every conservative gun nut – just allow complete strangers to enter your house when you’re not there! I mean did anyone see Suburbicon? Well, apparently no one saw Suburbicon because it was a total box office disaster! Well, the movie was about a home invasion and that’s not something that should be taken lightly in the active shooter era. And you know what? We’re not the only ones who are creeped out by this.

Those are a few of the questions I’ve been fielding from my own family while trying to convince them to let me test out Amazon Key and Cloud Cam at our house. The new smart lock and camera system enables in-home deliveries from the e-commerce giant, among other features.

My family is far from the only one a little unnerved at the prospect. Amazon’s announcement of the new service has triggered a wave of concern and parody from people who aren’t comfortable with the notion of Amazon controlling access their front doors.

Maybe I’m a sucker for Amazon, or just don’t care about privacy, or more likely I just like to try new stuff. In any event, I think this new service could actually be useful, if it works like Amazon says it will. I may be in the minority, but before you pass judgment, here’s more on how Amazon Key actually works.


Initial Cost: Yes, you do have to pay Amazon for the privilege of giving the company access to your front door. The Amazon Key In-Home Kit package starts at $250 but can cost more than $300 depending on which compatible lock you choose.


Yes, Amazon turns on your home camera and unlocks your door for you. When you put it that way, agreed, it’s a little creepy.

That’s right – you pay Amazon $250 for a camera that they can turn on at any time that allows them access to your house! Ain’t technology and predatory consumerism great? Because Amazon is firing on all cylinders on both! I mean what’s next? Drones?

Amazon, Google and other tech giants could soon partner with U.S. cities and states to test more self-flying, package-delivering drones under a new policy put forward by President Donald Trump on Wednesday.

These and other experiments still must obtain the blessings of the federal government, but the new effort — to be officially unveiled by Trump at the White House — aims to speed up the arrival of more drones that can aid law enforcement, monitor crops, study traffic and more.

Under current rules, tech giants are allowed to operate commercial drones in the United States — but only under very specific circumstances. Their unmanned aircraft must be flown within a pilot’s line of sight, for example, and those pilots must obtain licenses. Commercial operators also are restricted to flying only during daylight hours. Their craft is limited in size, altitude and speed, and pilots are generally not allowed to fly drones over people.

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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #21: India
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Let’s give the wheel a final spin this week! T-Shirt cannon! Now if only I had the budget to make and sell t-shirts! Spin it again! World Tour 2017! Hit it!

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, in the last few weeks we’ve discovered that South Korea might go nuclear, China’s falling space station will most likely kill a whole bunch of us, and Rodrigo Duterte is in the middle of a literal one man war on drugs. Literally. Here’s the tour schedule:

[font size="6"]India[/font]

Welcome to India everybody! Excuse me a minute while I enjoy this nice plate of chicken tikka, samosas, and garlic naan with a tall bottle of Kingfisher Ale. Ah, now that is good shit! India is one of the largest countries in the entire world. Hell, it was practically its’ own entire continent at one point in its’ history. It’s neighbors are Pakistan, Tajikistan, Nepal, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka. Of course when one thinks of India – the first thing that comes to mind is the Taj Mahal, the world’s largest mausoleum! It’s also the home of Red Fort – one of the world’s largest and oldest battle spots. It’s also the home of the Sikh religion and the Golden Temple – the holy center for the religion. India is also the home of Bollywood, and it’s recently seen a huge surge of success in the United States box office with such hit films as Baahubali 2 – a film that this year made more money than the latest Fast & Furious movies! I wonder how many of these movies say something like “We’re not a team! We’re family!”. In fact here’s a sample of what Bollywood is like. Keep in mind I know nothing about these movies, I am just pulling clips from Youtube:

And then there’s also lots of singing and dancing in these movies – which is why they’re a huge part of Indian culture. And India is also the home of Diwali – which is basically the Hindu Christmas. I wonder if Lexus advertises those obnoxious commercials with the giant bows on them during the Diwali to remember sales event? Nice graphic guys! And by the way in case you’re wondering if Indian people have a sense of humor, I give you the Bollywood flick “Toilet”:

Now just remember this the next time you cant get a plumber because you clogged your toilet after a drunken night of bar hopping and cheap burritos – some people in the world don’t have toilets! But what else is India the home of? Well one thing they’re not the home of is women’s rights.

The country ranked a lowly 108 out of 144 in the global gender gap report released by the World Economic Forum (WEF) on Nov. 02. Last year, it stood at 87.

In the WEF report, countries are ranked on parameters of gender equality in health, education, economics, and politics. India’s performance in the health and survival category has been particularly dismal. It remained the world’s least improved country in this measure over the past decade, ranking the fourth-lowest at 141 this year.

India hardly fared better on economic participation and opportunity, finishing at 139. That’s not surprising considering women’s labour participation in India stands at around 28%. And about 66% of the work women do remains unpaid, compared to just 12% of the work undertaken by men. This unpaid work includes time spent on household chores, shopping, caring for family members, and travel related to the household.

Yeah there’s nothing funny about that so we wont try! But did you know that India recently decided to stop printing money altogether and switch entirely to electronic currency?

Almost a year ago, the Indian government rolled out an unprecedented policy move. Arguably, it was a time when the country was poised for economic success. With $9.49 trillion in purchasing power parity, it was the third-largest (in PPP terms) and the fastest-growing large economy in the world. On November 8, with no advance warning, India’s two highest-denomination banknotes, the 500-rupee and 1,000-rupee bills, were demonetized, rendering 86% of the country’s currency invalid overnight. The ostensible objective was a popular one: to root out corruption and illegitimate activity involving untraceable cash transactions. As the implications unfolded, I wrote two pieces (“India’s Botched War on Cash” and “Early Lessons from India’s Demonetization Experiment”) evaluating the policy and its impact. My assessment of the action was that the policy was poorly thought out and executed and that its net impact would be negative and particularly bad for the poor.

Indeed, India subsequently suffered a dramatic drop in its GDP growth rate, which fell to 6.1% annualized during January–March 2017 after three quarters with the annualized growth rate staying in the range of 7.9% to 7%. It most recent GDP growth figure has fallen to 5.7%, and part of that, too, can be attributed to the policy move from last November.

So what must it be like living in a country where there’s no cash and everything is done electronically? Remember the 2015 Hill Valley from Back To The Future Part II where transactions are done with thumb prints? It’s kind of like that. Oh and guess what? It’s having the opposite effect of what those who rule India had in mind.

BENGALURU (Reuters) - India’s economy will likely grow at its slowest pace in four years this fiscal year, a Reuters poll showed, as a currency ban and the new goods and services tax (GST) have disrupted business activity and dampened consumer demand.

Asia’s third-largest economy will grow at 6.7 percent in the fiscal year ending March 2018, the slowest since the new methodology of measuring gross domestic product (GDP) was introduced in the 2014-15 fiscal year, according to the latest poll of 30 economists.

The poll was taken on Oct. 12-24, closing just before India announced a $32.43 billion plan to recapitalise state banks, a bid to tackle a major drag on the economy.

While the latest poll’s number for this year matches the International Monetary Fund’s toned-down forecast - that was 7.2 percent earlier - it is a sharp decline from 7.3 percent the July Reuters poll showed.

But the war on cash has also contributed to a war on cyber crime! That’s right – what happens when you ban cash? Why it brings out the hackers and cyber criminals!

India is reportedly considering Chinese-style exchange ban for Bitcoin and cryptocurrency according to local media reports.

A brief article in today’s Economic Times names an unknown government “committee” as having advised lawmakers to “close” merchants and other “dealers” active in Bitcoin and altcoins.

No background reasoning was given for the committee’s recommendation, which comes as Bitcoin flourishes in both price and volume in India and in permissive jurisdictions around the world.

Hesham Reyman, CEO of Indian exchange Bitxoxo, told the publication the government should focus on “curbing” sales of cryptocurrency involving cash instead of seeking a ban.

At the same time, Forbes India this week carried a full feature on fellow major exchange Zebpay, which is currently adding around 200,000 users to its app-based trading platform every month.

Ah I love Aziz Ansari! And cyber crime begats rebellion against online retailers! You know Amazon recently expanded to India. And people have already had enough of the retailer’s bullshit – particularly sponsored content. Why can’t we rebel against advertisers here in the US?

A 9,000-member strong Amazon India seller’s forum has pulled back sponsored ads from the e-commerce portal over the last two days to protest against what it believes are the company’s weak return policies. The sponsored ads help sellers promote their products in Amazon’s search results.

The eCommerce Sellers Association of India (ECSAI) plans to continue the strike for at least another day while awaiting a solution from the Jeff Bezos-led company.

The group alleges that its members are bleeding because Amazon has been approving fake return requests and making them pay for reverse logistics. The sellers also say that they are forced to bear the cost of the product that are often damaged or used.

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Hmmm… this is kind of a tricky one. There’s lots of crime, poverty and crimes against humanity in India. If you do go there, don’t wander too far off from the tourist areas. You should probably stay away from moving there too.

Tourism: B-
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: F
Liberal Appeal: F

Overall: D

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

This is going to be a fun one – and since most world tours lack any sort of logic in the touring schedule whatsoever, we’re going to the land down under! That’s right – Australia!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Prophets Of Rage[/font]

You know folks I teased some live Bollywood last week but couldn’t find much of anything, Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a rock / hip hop super group consisting of members of Rage Against The Machine, Cypress Hill and Public Enemy. That’s right – this is the soundtrack to the resistance! Playing their song “Living On The 110”, give it up for Prophets Of Rage!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week! If we still live through this week that is!


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