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crazycatlady

(4,492 posts)
Sun Nov 12, 2017, 05:49 PM Nov 2017

Is this song rape culture?

Tis the season where you can't walk into a store without Christmas music playing. When grocery shopping today, "Baby It's Cold Outside" came on. Looking at the lyrics in modern context, it is about date rape.

This was the first time this year I've heard it and listened to the lyrics closely. She keeps saying no and he keeps using the weather as an excuse for yes.

What's your take on the song?

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Hekate

(90,627 posts)
6. It's all about seduction between two consenting adults
Sun Nov 12, 2017, 05:58 PM
Nov 2017

IIRC, it's the man saying he must leave and the woman saying he'll catch his death of cold if he does (altho more poetically put). Or maybe the other way around. It's persuasion, not coercion.

There's seduction...and courtship...and mating rituals... throughout the animal kingdom.

Not everything is about rape.

moriah

(8,311 posts)
7. It's certainly "heavy pressure seduction culture".
Sun Nov 12, 2017, 06:08 PM
Nov 2017

Which sadly is a subset of rape culture, but when women like my grandmother were taught and vocalized to my mother, sister, and I that "boys will be boys, it's the woman's duty to put up the stop sign or whatever happens is her fault too" -- she was referring to pregnancy -- and men are praised for how many notches they have on their bedpost....

It's not surprising that high pressure "seduction" is considered okay. And people vary on what they think is "high pressure".

Take, sadly, the Takei Stern tape. Things might be different with a guy because they do have one primary erogenous zone where women have others that people generally go for first before going for the genitals (unlike Trump), but he admitted to starting/continuing stimulation without asking if he thought the person was just shy and essentially expecting to be told no firmly if it was truly unwanted, vs asking first.

But culturally women have had the "duty to say no and be virtuous and perfect" and men have been supposed to overcome the "virtuous refusal" in order to be successful in reproducing. How long has that bit of patriarchy contributed to sexually aggression genes being added to the pool, given we have prized female virginity for at least 2000 years?

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