Noah's ark of biblical proportions ready to open in Kentucky

[Judi Lynn]

Source: Associated Press

Noah's ark of biblical proportions ready to open in Kentucky

Dylan Lovan, Associated Press

Updated 11:25 pm, Tuesday, July 5, 2016



WILLIAMSTOWN, Ky. (AP) — A 510-foot-long, $100 million Noah's ark attraction built by Christians who say the biblical story really happened is ready to open in Kentucky this week.

Since its announcement in 2010, the ark project has rankled opponents who say the attraction will be detrimental to science education and shouldn't have won state tax incentives.

"I believe this is going to be one of the greatest Christian outreaches of this era in history," said Ken Ham, president of Answers in Genesis, the ministry that built the ark.

Ham said the massive ark, based on the tale of a man who got an end-of-the-world warning from God about a massive flood, will stand as proof that the stories of the Bible are true. The group invited media and thousands of supporters for a preview Tuesday, the first glimpse inside the giant, mostly wood structure.



Read more: http://www.chron.com/news/us/article/Noah-s-ark-of-biblical-proportions-ready-to-open-8342013.php

[sakabatou]

1. An ugly shrine to willful ignorance

[jtuck004]

2. Is there any water near there? Maybe could start an annual Flying Spaghetti Monster

Ark Race. People could build their own arks and float all day, with lots of alchohol (and probably a little weed).

I bet you would compete with them for attendance, at least for a day.

[Jazzgirl]

7. LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

[63splitwindow]

3. I wonder what portion of admittance proceeds...

will be used to promote animal welfare?

[Earth_First]

11. None of it!

Instead, it will be used to finance E-class Mercedes Benz vehicles and 5200 Square foot homes of the members of the Board of Directors...

[davidthegnome]

4. They need to make it bigger.

It has to be large enough to hold all of the republicans and religious fundamentalists. Then we need to find a way to convince them that there is a zombie apocalypse and God has demanded that they live at sea from now on - and avoid contact with land, politics, rational human beings and so on - for the rest of their lives.

[AntiBank]

5. Built with 18 million usd in tax incentives whilst making employees

adhere to religious restrictions.

The owners and and most visitors are the "man lived with dinosaurs " plonkers.

[maxsolomon]

42. all of that was adjudicated in the courts, wasn't it?

the best laid plans...

[TipTok]

6. What a joke...

[yeoman6987]

32. We have a tragedy in Louisiana. I can't bring myself outrage over this.

Big deal. I am sure they have other places like this in the United States.

[TipTok]

43. I can walk and chew gum at the same time...

Both are serious issues and should be addressed...

[Tortmaster]

8. It would be cool if they got two of every ...

... type of insect in the world and put them in tiny little cages so we could see how they would fit, along with a 40-day food supply. There are about 3,000 kinds of earthworms alone. God wouldn't let all of those earthworms die on sidewalks during the flood, would he? Of course, not! He's not into cruelty to animals. He would save two. In a cage. On the Ark. Somehow. Then, there are 350,000 different species of beetle and another 12,000 species of roundworm. I guess a few thousand of the roundworm species could be infesting, as parasites, all of the animals on board, so that storage problem is solved! Then, there are the flying insects, but as long as they can remain aloft for 40 days, hey, problem solved.

[TipTok]

44. I used to think it was 40 days...

... but I was informed by Christian wackadoodles that it was actually a year...

Which , of course, in their mind made it all the more impressive a feat.

I did some math based on 8 people feeding these animals once a day. If all 8 worked in perfect synchronization, they could spend something like 36 seconds per animal per day.

[Tortmaster]

49. Awesome, TipTok!

If there isn't, there should be an elective course in every high school honors program called "Flood Math." Cheers!

[dixiegrrrrl]

59. I actually got a lesson on how the dinosaurs survived the flood.

They ate the grain in the Pyramids.

Some woman told me that with a straight face, she was thrilled the Ben Carson had answered the vexing problem of Noah fed all the animals.

Oh..and Noah took only the smaller dinosaurs, but they grew up after the flood.

You think I am kidding?

Some yahoo calling himself Dr. Dino has "bought" a chunk of land about 60 miles north of me, and he is gonna put in a "Creation Museum" and there be actual dinosaur slides, when you enter thru the mouth and swissss down the tail, landing in god knows what on the ground.

Dr. Dino has been in the paper, soliciting funds from the more crazy church people, while at the same time denying the charges that the IRS is bringing against him for not paying taxes in 38 years, cause he is "a sovereign citizen and cannot be taxed."


You see all that crazy wrapped in one person and you have to just stand there till your mind unfreezes a bit.

[TipTok]

60. I'm pretty sure you go down the slide and land in a big pile of ignorance...

[dixiegrrrrl]

64. LOL!!!!

Perfect.....just perfect.

[Judi Lynn]

62. A shrine to complete idiocy. You have to prove you're an imbecile to get into the museum. n/t

[joshdawg]

9. Since these......er...hmmmm "people" say that humans and dinosaurs walked together,

did Noah find two Brontosaurs to ride in the (had, kof, gag) ark with the rest?

just wondering.

[JoePhilly]

51. He took Dino eggs ...

... not joking ... I've had these nuts make that claim.

[Judi Lynn]

53. I wonder who he got to hatch the damned things. That one is even as stupid as this fundie ark. n/t

[JoePhilly]

54. God hatched them.

God is always the trump card!

[Judi Lynn]

58. That's right! He would causeth a great, warm cloud to surround the dino eggs. n/t

[dixiegrrrrl]

65. Well, obviously it was Daenerys Targaryen

from another book set in fiction.

[Judi Lynn]

67. Absolutely! She could make short work of that. She could have gotten to the ark with a dragon. n/t

[DetlefK]

10. I cannot wait to see the sewage system of the Ark.

Thousands of animals stored in crammy compartments under decks, on various floors.

Imagine all the drinking-water for them. (Does the Ark have a system to collect rain-water?)
Imagine all the meat, insects and hay it takes to feed all these animals for 40 days. (Storing raw meat for 40 days outside of a fridge?)
Imagine the shit-tons of shit these animals would produce over 40 days.
Imagine how long it would take to clean the cages of thousands of animals from shit.
Imagine how much straw it would take to put in every cage AFTER cleaning it from shit.
Imagine how Noah's family hauled that shit, shovel by shovel, day in, day out, from the lower decks to the upper deck so they can throw it over board... except, wasn't the Ark nailed shut? So they stored all this shit in an extra compartment under deck?




HA!
TRICKED YOU!
ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS HAVE A SIMPLE AND LOGICAL EXPLANATION!!!

You see, not only did Noah have access to sci-fi-technology that allowed him to build such an Ark in record-time.
God also took care of all the problems I brought up.

It's very simple and very logical:
The Ark must have been real because Noah had access to futuristic high-tech and because God prevented the animals from eating and shitting.
How can you still deny that the Ark makes sense?
STOP LAUGHING!!!

[Hoppy]

14. Shows what you know with your sarcastic wit...

If you don't feed 'em for 40 days, you don't need to carry the food. Therefore, you also don't need to carry out the shit.

[Kelvin Mace]

33. Well, you then wind up with a lot of animals

just resting and pining for the fjords.

[Historic NY]

12. Will it float?

or sink they should load it with passengers and see.

[FBaggins]

13. It can't float

The base is concrete and it isn't watertight.

It's an ark-shaped-object, not an ark

[ChairmanAgnostic]

16. Concrete floats, as do really tiny rocks.

[FBaggins]

20. Concrete absolutely can float

See the caissons of the Mulberry harbour (WWII)...

... but not so much when it's a foundation for a building (whether the building is boat-shaped or not).

[ChairmanAgnostic]

23. But with a witch's help . . . ?

[Hoppy]

48. Concrete ships existed as an experiment during WW2. While they floated and sailed,

they proved impractical.

The hulk of one of them is slowly disappearing off the western point of Cape May, N.J.

[Hoppy]

15. Who is dumber? The dumbasses that thought of this? The ones who paid for it or the ones who will pay

to see it?

[apnu]

17. That's it? 100 mil for an 'Ark'?!

I thought there was supposed to be a whole theme park, but the blew 100 million on one attraction? Ken Ham is a grifter.

[FBaggins]

21. There's a bit more than that

They have a "museum" and a small zoo... as well as a zipline.

Of course... there are extra fees for those.

[Scarsdale]

18. Taxpayer $$$?

How many taxpayer $$$ were given to the Australian who tried to build it in Australia, and was refused? Well, Kentucky can afford it, I guess. (yeah, right)

[FBaggins]

22. Yes and no

I believe there are tax incentives that are limited to waiving some taxes that wouldn't have been paid if it wasn't built. Not uncommon for new tourist attractions.

The concern is that it's still public money when the owners want to protect their right to discriminate.

[brooklynite]

38. The argument for tax credits was that it would encourage tourism...

...and this will certainly attract the suckers from the Bible Belt.

[FBaggins]

41. True enough

If lots of people travel in from out of town and stay in hotels (paying taxes), eat at restaurants (paying taxes), and buy things (paying taxes), then the government has a legitimate interest in creating tax incentives to encourage that economic activity (that otherwise would not take place).

[TipTok]

45. I don't understand how it can be legal to provide tax incentives...

... to a religious organization who mandates a disavowal of homsexuality and pre marital sex to work there.

Among a dozen other things wrong with this whole concept.

[struggle4progress]

19. What do they say about Noah's wife, Joan of Ark?

[dixiegrrrrl]

66. That is the first time I have heard that

and I love it!

[snooper2]

24. I give it two years before it falls over...fundies aren't known for their engineering skills

[PJMcK]

26. Of course they aren't

Engineering skills require understanding something called "Science."

[Archae]

27. I give it 5 years, tops before it looks like "Heritage USA."

Jim and Tammy Bakker's theme park that is abandoned and decaying.

http://www.tommyandjames.net/heritageusa.html

[mahatmakanejeeves]

30. I'd be willing to wager that it was built to ANSI and ASTM consensus standards

and that it meets the NEC, if the owners want insurance.

[yuiyoshida]

25. BUDDHISTS ADMIT THE BUDDHA WAS ACTUALLY THIS BIG!

Buddhists in JAPAN today admitted the Buddha's statue size is totally accurate. The giant man walked the earth, after being born from a gigantic lotus flower, sixteen stories high, found in India. Being so huge, allowed him to freely walk about Asia at his leisure as armies of people brought him tons and tons of vegetables, so he wouldn't be tempted to eat them...

side story: BUDDHA VS GODZILLA!

uh, no.... but the story may as well be real as that thing in Kentucky. Geesh... I could say a few things, but it would probably get my response hidden.

[Maeve]

28. Ham? His name is Ham? Like the son of Noah?

The one who offended Noah, but the old man cursed Ham's son for no damn good reason?
God is an iron.

[yellowcanine]

35. Ham apparently "saw his father's nakedness," whatever that means.

Genesis 9:20-25 "Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father's nakedness and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father's nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, he said, ‘Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers.’"

Seems like harsh treatment for someone who happened to stumble upon drunk old Dad with his willy hanging out so there is speculation about what Ham actually did other than seeing Noah naked - particularly since "uncovering your father's nakedness" can have other meanings involving sexual intercourse with your father's wife, for example.

[Maeve]

37. Yeah, so why curse the son?

Never could wrap my head around that...

[yellowcanine]

39. Well if Ham boinked Noah's wife it might make sense.

There is that.

[Judi Lynn]

57. Maybe Noah was still a little hammered when he let loose his curse,

accidently blighting the wrong guy!

Never drink and curse!
[center] [/center]

[Judi Lynn]

56. Oh, geez! I didn't even make the connection until reading your comment! Yikes. Some coinkidink! n/t

[Maeve]

61. There are no coincidences...everything happens for a reason!

[mahatmakanejeeves]

29. "A 510-foot-long ... Noah's ark...." Blasphemy!

Last edited Wed Jul 6, 2016, 12:08 PM - Edit history (1)

IIRC, the "original" was spec'd in cubits.

Feet to cubits

[Kelvin Mace]

31. Is it built on a flood plain?

Because if it is, they are seriously tempting the gods of irony.

That said, the whole project smacks of idolatry, is a repudiation of actual Christianity, since I am guessing that given $100 million, Jesus wouldn't spend it on a giant middle finger to science, and proves that with that with a huge sum of money, modern days engineers can build a ship that would sink within an hour in a massive flood, using technology and tools not available to a drunken, bronze age farmer and his handful of followers.

[packman]

34. Looking into my crystal ball

I predict that within 5 years it will be either (1) shut down and abandoned or (2) - More likely, burned to the ground.

[Yavin4]

36. Or people would actually use it because of the effects of climate change

Irony.

[Javaman]

40. all that wood wasted. It could have been used to build houses for the poor.

but alas, that would be the "christian" thing to do.

I guess it's better to be a huckster and make a profit than be a profit that exposes hucksters.

[MisterP]

46. isn't this all based on a guy the Adventists excommunicated? this is all the Doobie Brothers' fault

[Jerry442]

47. Mostly wood structure, my ass.

Go look at their video at:

https://answersingenesis.org/blogs/ken-ham/2015/10/15/next-steps-for-ark-construction/

It's transparently obvious that this is a reinforced concrete structure supported by multiple pillars. The wooden part is just a facade (not unlike Ken Ham's faith).

You'd have more luck at sea wearing a flotation device made of cinder blocks.

[Judi Lynn]

50. Kicking and rec'ing to remind someone I already posted this story Wednesday morning at 12:47 am. n/t

[Jazzgirl]

52. They should really be embarassed. Really.

n/t

[Lance Bass esquire]

55. Don't worry in 5 years it will be a Indian casino....n/t

[rockfordfile]

63. Seems like a waste of money

That could have went to real needs.