The Perfect Republican Stump Speech

[Proserpina]

http://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/stump-speech/

We(538) asked former Republican speechwriter Barton Swaim to write a ​totally pandering stump speech for an imaginary GOP presidential candidate — one who ​espouses only positions that a majority of Republicans agree with. ​Here’s the speech he wrote, including notes to explain his phrasing, behind-the-scenes pro tips on appealing to Republican voters and the data he used to decide which positions to take.

It's long, see link. No word on when the Democratic equivalent will come out...

[Scuba]

1. The Democratic Party speech reads as follows ...

"Vote for us. We're not quite as bad as the Republicans."

[Proserpina]

2. Then, we are doomed

That may be the typical speech, but is it the perfect one?

[Nitram]

3. I haven't heard a speech like that from any Democratic candidate.

On the contrary, they have specifically addressed real issues. When they criticize Republican candidates, they do so on the basis of their policy statements and opinions they have publicly expressed.