Confessions of a cold woman.
As a fellow INTJ, I found this author's piece insightful, if only because it reflects my experiences in the working world. It is the reason I would never be successful in the business, but instead found my home in science. I too "just want people to make sense," but unfortunately, they don't. Give me data any day of the week.
I also have been told to "smile more" on innumerable occasions, almost (but not always) by men who were strangers to me. First off, it wouldn't work. It would look fake and that is worse than being serious. So when Brit Hume or Reince Priebus says Hillary should smile more, it strikes a chord with me. Those of us who are not public figures are free to tell these guys where they can stuff it. I assume Hillary is tempted but she is no doubt classier than I am and so won't tell them to go to hell as they so richly deserve.
I know there are folks out there who think this is no big deal, that we are making mountains out of molehills. Maybe, but I think it goes to the way our culture expects contradictory things from women, whatever their personality type. You have to be hot, but not too hot. You have to be emotional, but not TOO emotional. And if you are not emotional at all, you are a bitch. Etc. Etc.
https://insiders.fortune.com/confessions-of-a-cold-woman-9701e3886b48#.ehm02z2dc
You are expected to be demonstrative emotionally because it’s a marker of femininity (but you will be punished for being too emotional and having no self control if you are). You are expected to be warm and sensitive (but you will be perceived as vulnerable and by extension, weak, if you are — because these are “soft” traits). You are expected to be liked by everyone (but being liked by everyone will often mean avoiding controversy, strong opinions — or opinions at all — and never publicly disagreeing with anyone). You are expected to be the communicator and the nurturer, whose primary function is to get everyone on the same page, often at your own expense (but you will be perceived as a serial compromiser with no backbone if you do that). You are supposed to be decisive (but if you are, you will be punished for not getting enough input from other people, or being arrogant for not second-guessing yourself). You are supposed to be upbeat and bubbly (but if you are, people will think your bubbly-ness is a function of your airheaded-ness). And so on.
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Great post.
