Like the author, I have longevity in my family. But both my parents developed dementia in their mid 80's and my Dad died in his sleep about two years after his diagnosis. My Dad, though feisty at times, was better off having he and my Mom move in with my sister. After his death, my Mom returned to her own home. Not long afterwards, two of my sisters thought she was making poor financial decisions and went to court to seek a Conservativeship over her finances and her person. It has split our family in half and the relationship will probably never be repaired because we believed that they lied to the courts, her doctors and social workers, to get control because they thought they were doing what was best for her. FTR, the two main culprits are three of my sisters who happen to be a Doctor, a Nurse, and a Lawyer. I also believe that the Medical Community share their opinions as everyone that I've talked to in the medical community, the first words out of their mouths is, "You've got to protect Mom." The Court system in our state will appoint an attorney to act on my Mother's behalf with the fees charged to her estate, if she's not indigent. She wasn't. He did absolutely nothing on my mother's behalf over the course of the year the proceedings took. If we wanted to hire a lawyer ourselves, starting cost was $25,000 to retain one and that money wouldn't last long, we were warned.
That brought me to the conclusion, that I'd rather die sooner rather than later than to live one day without being of sound mind, or to put my children through what our family went through. The problem with Dementia is that you probably wouldn't recognize or acknowledge that you had it, until it's too late for you to do anything about it. My Mother has been angry and bitter every since she was removed from her home that first court day, and even though we found someone to look after her in her own home, my sisters had one excuse after another as to why she couldn't return to her home. (I.E caretakers abuse their patients, etc.) Prior to the removal, I spoke to my mother at least three times a week before any of this began. Today, I can't bear to speak to her on the phone or see her in person, (though I do) because she just cries and asks what she did to deserve this, and then she talks about wanting to hurt them, or to die herself. My biggest fear is that she might hurt one of them one day, and end up in some institution. I don't want to put my adult children through this. If there is no cure for Dementia within the next decade, (I'll be 60 in 3 months) I'd rather take things into my own hands when the time comes. (My parents onset began about age 85). I'd rather my husband and children have my nest egg than a nursing home.
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