Mueller Says That Until Yesterday He Had Almost Forgotten to Investigate Giuliani
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)The independent counsel, Robert Mueller, told reporters that, prior to news reports on Thursday, he had almost forgotten to investigate the former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani.
Like most Americans, I had totally forgotten about Rudy Giulianis existence, he said. But then when he popped up on the news I was, like, Hold onshouldnt we be investigating him? Mueller was at a loss to explain why he had failed to investigate Giuliani earlier. I have no idea how it could have slipped my mind, he said. His role in Trumps campaign was as fishy as all get-out.
He said that other members of his team were poking fun at him for not deciding to investigate Giuliani before Thursday. I mean, think about it: how do you do a criminal investigation of the Trump campaign and leave Rudy out of it? he said. Ive got to say, Im pretty darn embarrassed about the whole thing.
When asked for an estimate of when the Russia inquiry might wrap up, Mueller responded, I honestly cant say. I was hoping to bring it to a close in the next month or two, but now that were also investigating Rudy Giuliani, God only knows how long itll take.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mueller-says-that-until-yesterday-he-had-almost-forgotten-to-investigate-giuliani