The Loneliest Generation: Americans, More Than Ever, Are Aging Alone

[Zorro]

Danny Miner, a 66-year-old retired chemical plant supervisor, spends most days alone in his Tooele, Utah, apartment, with “Gunsmoke” reruns to keep him company and a phone that rarely rings.

Old age wasn’t supposed to feel this lonely. Mr. Miner married five times, each bride bringing the promise of lifelong companionship. Three unions ended in divorce. Two wives died. Now his legs ache and his balance is faulty, and he’s stopped going to church or meeting friends at the Marine Corps League, a group for former Marines. “I get a little depressed from time to time,” he says.

Baby boomers are aging alone more than any generation in U.S. history, and the resulting loneliness is a looming public health threat. About one in 11 Americans age 50 and older lacks a spouse, partner or living child, census figures and other research show. That amounts to about eight million people in the U.S. without close kin, the main source of companionship in old age, and their share of the population is projected to grow.

Policy makers are concerned this will strain the federal budget and undermine baby boomers’ health. Researchers have found that loneliness takes a physical toll, and is as closely linked to early mortality as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day or consuming more than six alcoholic drinks a day. Loneliness is even worse for longevity than being obese or physically inactive.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-loneliest-generation-americans-more-than-ever-are-aging-alone-11544541134?mod=djmc_pkt_email_092617&tier_1=22170908&tier_2=dcm&tier_3=22170908&tier_4=0&tier_5=4508749

[redstatebluegirl]

1. I think this terrifies me more than having a terrible illness.

I am blessed with a loving husband, and good friends, but my family is far away and we have never been close. I am good being alone, reading, watching dvd's etc, but I need people in my life. I can't imagine being all alone. I don't think families are as close as they used to be either. We took care of our grandparents, great grandparents, great aunts and uncles and cousins when I was growing up. They were never alone, but we lived close to each other so it was easy.

[sweetroxie]

3. Unfortunately, old age comes with a lot of bad health

Not always, but usually. I'm part of this demographic. I'm 77 and I'm totally alone in the world. And, I have tons of health issues to keep me "company."

[redstatebluegirl]

4. I think sometimes the internet makes it seem like we are not alone, but in fact we are.

I am so sorry you are alone. Do you have a Senior Center close to you?

[SWBTATTReg]

11. I agree with you, that families have split apart (jobs whatever take them far away)...

and I'm like you, I keep busy, especially w/ my SO, my 1/2 dozen good friends (for almost 35 years +-), and enjoy being 'alone'. Being profoundly hard of hearing, it's not too hard for me to be 'alone' since I've always was 'alone'...my worry is that eventually I'll lose whatever I have left of my hearing (5% left in one ear, 10% in the other) and as I get older this will happen. I crave noise sometimes. Literally just crave it, for not hearing anything can drive one a little nuts. Better hearing aids won't work if there isn't anymore hearing left (nerve damage is progressive as one gets older).

But at least I know this. I plan around it and my SO and friends know this, and we do all watch and keep an eye on each other like good friends do. I check on them constantly. Also I had a couple of friends who developed severe cases of Alzheimer's Disease and literally they were gone. We think that they may (may) recognized us but we don't know. They are gone now, and thank god their other halves stepped in and took over.

Keeping mentally active I think (like on DU and all of the issues we see on here) helps to keep me mentally active and plus I get tidbits of news like from you on aging.

Take care!!

[redstatebluegirl]

14. I agree, we as a group, have helped a person who died of cancer who would have been alone.

We watch out for each other. You take care as well!

[SWBTATTReg]

15. Thanks so much! Thanks again for the post! nt

[Ufta88]

2. I've been informed that "The Golden Years" is a big fat lie.

It's not so golden for the seniors I know of anyway.

[redstatebluegirl]

6. Some of that is self made if you will.

It is important to reach out, get out of the house, find a senior center, join a group doing things you enjoy, reading, sewing, knitting, model railroads, astronomy anything that gets your mind working and you out of the house. It takes effort to be sure.

[marybourg]

16. Sometimes medical issues make this impossible,

or impractical.

[redstatebluegirl]

18. Yes I know that, but I see some who self isolate. I have tried to get them out to no avail.

[marybourg]

19. They might not want to share

tbe details of their health conditions.

[redstatebluegirl]

20. At the age we all are, there are health issues with most of us.

The minority are those who have no health issues and they rarely seek out companionship since they don't need it.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

5. Dear lord. Five marriages and he's still alone.

There is something very sad about that.

I'm 71, divorced, live alone, and I fully expect that at some point down the road I'll move into an independent/assisted living place. I realize that's not an option for everyone, but it should be for me.

[Ufta88]

8. Can't say he didn't try!

It is sad. However one someday finds themselves there.

[dweller]

7. and yet some people, like me, choose to be alone

I have friends, kids, grandkids, and family, but value and actively seek being alone... and it doesn't imply lonely... I just prefer it

hell is other people ...

✌🏼️

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

9. I very much like living alone.

In my case, I'd had more than a decade of being on my own before I ever married, and I think that makes a huge difference.

[SergeStorms]

30. Count me in there!

When I choose to be with people I'll go out into the world and be with people. They're all over the damned place! I've always been a modified existentialist. Everyone dies alone. There could be a hundred people crowding around you for "comfort" or whatever, but you are dying alone. I've made friends with that fact and am completely comfortable with it. Like Jerry Jeff Walker (born Ronald Clyde Crosby from Oneonta, NY) I've always been a little contrary to ordinary.

[doc03]

10. I am alone too. You have to force yourself to get

out. Many people can sign up for the Silver Sneakers for free gym membership. I go to the gym 3 days a week, in the summer us retirees get together and ride bicycles a couple times a week. I go to the mall and do a few laps in the afternoon rather than watch TV. The AARP and Union groups take bus trips. I have gone on 4 trips with Caravan and made road trips, have been to 40 states so far. I am blessed with good health and a good pension because of I belonged to the USWA. But I know lots of others healthy and financially secure that sit and watch Fox News 24/7.

[SWBTATTReg]

13. Neat and good suggestions too! Thanks! nt

[Adsos Letter]

17. Photography.

I'm not living alone but my wife still works, which leaves me alone for most of the day. After I retired I developed a habit of sitting on my butt much of the day. Photography gives me something to learn, and gets me out of the house and moving.

[doc03]

25. Another good sugestion. I see you have a 2nd Armored Cavalry patch. Were you

stationed in Amberg?

[Adsos Letter]

26. Yes. HowBtry 3/2 ACR

1974-75. Spent oodles of time at Graf, and lived seven months at Vilseck while they remodeled our billets at Amberg (Mohl Kaserne).

You?

[doc03]

29. Me too I was in Troop K, 3rd Squadron, 2nd Armored Cavalry (has been a long time

since I typed that) 1969-70 also went to Grafenwer, Hollenfels also Vilsec for training and spent about 24 weeks all together at the Regan border camp. I ran into a German lady on a Mount Rushmore /Yellowstone tour last year that still lives in Amberg, she said our barracks is now an appartment complex. I hated the Army but did have a good time there otherwise.

[doc03]

31. I think it was in Vilseck where a Sargent walked in our squad tent and sat a coffee can

full of gasoline by the entrance. He walks over to the salamander in the middle of the tent to warm up. The gas fumes followed him over and ignited. It would have been ok but he ran over and kicked the can over and set our tent on fire. We managed to get most everything out before the tent burned to the ground.

[Adsos Letter]

32. Well, I had a nice response all typed out...

...tried to type an "o" with an umlaut over it and erased the whole thing.

Our battery was there for fire support, so it didn't spend time at the border camps although I went to camps Rotz and May as a member of the FO section. Spent tons of time at Graf, did two REFORGERs, and just about froze my butt off there in the winter (I'm a coastal California boy). My buddy from Minneapolis would just laugh at me.

What a trip that place was. Lots of stories. It seemed like something from an episode of M*A*S*H* at times. Also pretty serious at times.

I recall being on the bunker line at Graf with our FO team. Called for a Battery One Round (which should have been a total of 6 rounds) saw five impact...where was number six?! Radioed FDC: "Did you guys fire six?" "Affirmative, six fired." Hmmmm… Just then got a message over the command net for all units to stand down, and to leave the gun sights dialed in to whatever happened to be their current quadrent and deflection. (Yikes!) Turns out that there had been a correction to the initial fire mission coordinates that one of the guns didn't get (I have no idea how it got past the Safety Officer) and a 155mm round went whomping into the main post at Graf, exploding about 50 meters from the main post road. No one hurt, fortunately and somewhat miraculously. EDIT: I think the mistake was in the number of powder increments called for; the initial mission was for something like five, and the correction was for something like three.)

Were you there when one of the M109's blew up at Pond Barracks? Threw a 155mm projo clear down into the traffic circle in town. No one was injured in town (it didn't hit anyone and it was unfuzed, so it didn't go off) but still...

I think that is when the guns stopped carrying a basic load, except for times of heightened alert.

Regarding the current status of Pond Barracks: Yep, all civilian housing now, and a school. And they turned the old mess hall into a gourmet restaurant!

[doc03]

33. Nope I wasn't there when the M109 blew up, wow that had to be something. We had a moveout

alert one time at Amberg and drove our vehicles to Camp May, usually they loaded them on railroad cars. It was a total cluster f--. Me and another guy were riding in the cab of a 2 1/2 and a Sargent was driving and two guys were in back. We had a snow storm that day we see a guesthouse on the right side of the road. The Sargent says f-- this s--and yells hold on boys and rolls the 21/2 on its side in a ditch in from of the guesthouse. We spent the whole afternoon drinking beer in the guesthouse until a VTR comes to pull us out. The Sargent was a cool guy he had been in Nam and didn't give a f--- about anything. Wow the mess hall a gourmet restaurant, it sure wasn't then.

[Siwsan]

12. After years of having to be around people I didn't like, at work, I'm enjoying some solitude

My work situation grew ever more toxic and hostile, so I retired a good 3 years before I had planned, just to get away from the stress. I knew that if I stayed to my original plan, my health and sanity were at risk.

Now my time is my own. I still get out, visit with people, get involved in social/political events, but rarely, when I'm by myself, do I ever get bored. My nieces and nephews pester me to come for visits, and I do, on occasion. I know the time will come when I might need to move closer to them, although losing my independence and freedom to come and go, as I please, is more of a fear than loneliness.

[Mr.Bill]

21. I live in a Senior mobile home park

and it is full of people like this, mostly men. So many of them get Meals on Wheels, not so much because of being poor, but because they absolutely can't cook. They just never learned how. It amazed me how someone could live 75 years or more and not know how to feed themselves, but that's how it is.

[dweller]

22. my father, 95 Yrs old

had to learn to cook about 8-9 Yrs ago after my mom passed... we all cooked for him for awhile, but he eventually took over for himself ... he's lost 0 weight... and eats what he wants and likes...
but he does get lonely after 65 yrs with my mom

✌🏼️

[Fuzzpope]

23. Age 48

Alone since 2012. By choice. I dwell in the smoldering crater of a most exhausting, destructive decade plus marriage to a professional addict diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I haven't felt lonely once, but my 11 year old son has been with me almost the entire time, and is the finest companion I've ever had.

I'll very probably feel differently once he's flown off to carve his own path, but for now, I don't miss women.

Or spiders.

Or...

Spider women.

(Yes, my wife was definitely a spider woman)

[homegirl]

24. We all have

the power to choose how we pass our time in the final years. I am almost 19 years older than Danny. I drive, live alone and enjoy a very active life. It is not always easy but I choose to be active, travel and socialize. Danny has to make an effort to move out of his home and mingle. My first suggestion is to join his local "Y". A senior aquatic exercise group a few times a week will fill several of his needs---exercise, socialization and get out of the house. Danny in your age group there are 11 single elderly women for every man!

I do have one complaint-too many visits to the doctor but then I am fortunate to have access to first rate medical care.

[BigmanPigman]

27. Research shows that having a pet benefits seniors' health.

Their companionship is like medicine via warm kisses but without the bitter aftertaste of traditional meds.
Actually pets improve everyone's health and attitude. A win/win situation.

[HelenWheels]

28. I'm 81 and very fortuate

I share a home with my daughter and her family. I am seldom lonely but I have out lived many of my friends who I miss a lot.

[Stuart G]

34. K and R...yes, I live alone...sometimes ok, sometimes it stinks