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Wed Nov 25, 2020, 02:31 AM

Trump Scheduled to Meet Devil at Manhattan Crossroads

NOVEMBER 25, 2020

BY STEPHEN F. EISENMAN
Return of soul expected, No change in U.S. politics anticipated

Washington, November 24: Mephistopheles, the prince of darkness, announced today through his press spokesperson, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, that he would meet on Thursday ďwith his old friendĒ President Trump and return to him his soul. The transfer is expected to take place at noon at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and 57th Street in the shadow of Trump Tower. The event will be observed by a small audience, selected by the Devil from among Trumpís most fervid supporters. Mephistopheles is expected to wear red, Trump orange.

The Devil has been in possession of Trumpís soul since 1973, when he met the young real estate heir through their mutual friend, attorney Roy Cohn, described by one colleague as ďpure evil.Ē Itís not known what Trump was paid at the time and there is no record of the transaction in the presidentís tax returns, recently published by The New York Times. But itís likely that profits from the sale Ė dispersed over many years ó were offset for tax purposes by losses from Trumpís Atlantic City casinos, Doral Country Club and multiple golf courses in the U.S. and Scotland.

The reason for the handover right now is unknown, but scientists have over the last four years observed a distinct cooling of Hades, as well as seasonal ice formation on the River Styx. They have named it the ďTrump Effect.Ē Longtime ferryboat captain Charon told reporters today: ďI donít know where the ice is coming from, but it started forming during Trumpís inauguration in January 2017. Itís gotten so bad that my trips to and from Washington take twice as long as before. Iíve had to double my tolls!Ē

Higher transportation costs have cut into the profits of fossil fuel giants Exxon/Mobil, Chevron, and Marathon whose strong sales to Hell have made up for declining profits in the automobile and home energy sectors. Coal, oil and gas are of course essential to keeping Hellís fires burning and maintaining the proper level of sulfurous fumes. Lobbyists for the three companies recently obtained from Congress and President Trump increases in the oil depletion allowance to buttress the profitability of business with Hell. Oil deposits discovered in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge, (leases to which were recently approved by Trump), are expected to be piped directly to Hell via a planned Trans-Styx Pipeline.

More:
https://www.counterpunch.org/2020/11/25/trump-scheduled-to-meet-devil-at-manhattan-crossroads/

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Arrow 6 replies Author Time Post
Reply Trump Scheduled to Meet Devil at Manhattan Crossroads (Original post)
Judi Lynn Nov 25 OP
GoneOffShore Nov 25 #1
Cha Nov 25 #2
flibbitygiblets Nov 25 #3
Cha Nov 25 #4
3Hotdogs Nov 25 #5
Harker Nov 25 #6

Response to Judi Lynn (Original post)

Wed Nov 25, 2020, 02:37 AM

1. Brilliant - There's a cultist over on Quora whose keyboard will collapse when I post this one!

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Response to Judi Lynn (Original post)

Wed Nov 25, 2020, 04:13 AM

2. Well Done by Stephen F. Eisenman..

but I don't think trump is getting any "soul back".. he would have had to have one in the first place.

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Response to Cha (Reply #2)

Wed Nov 25, 2020, 05:34 AM

3. This 🤞

Nailed it, Cha!

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Response to flibbitygiblets (Reply #3)

Wed Nov 25, 2020, 05:47 AM

4. Mahalo, flibbity!

We Won trump LOST!

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Response to Judi Lynn (Original post)

Wed Nov 25, 2020, 08:53 AM

5. Deal at 56 and 5th was made in 2015.

Thursday's meeting is to finalize the transaction.

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Response to Judi Lynn (Original post)

Wed Nov 25, 2020, 11:42 AM

6. There might be an open room at 666 5th Ave. n/t

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