The Onion: Report: 2012 Election Likely To Be Decided By 4 Or 5 Key Swing Corporations

[UrbScotty]

WASHINGTON—With polls this week showing the race between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney tightening even further, a growing number of political experts have declared this year's election will almost certainly be decided by a small handful of swing corporations.

"While most publicly traded companies are solidly red or blue, there are four or five major corporations that are complete tossups right now, and any one of them could prove decisive come November," said Nate Silver of The New York Times, noting in particular that Procter & Gamble, a traditional bellwether for the country as a whole, remained a “total wildcard." "Both candidates will have to focus almost exclusively on these swing businesses in order to gain the upper hand."

"And given how close this race is, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing comes down to undecided executives at Dow Chemical or Disney," Silver continued. "Let's not forget 2000, when Philip Morris International single-handedly put George W. Bush into office."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-2012-election-likely-to-be-decided-by-4-or,28900/

Once again, The Onion comes tantalizingly close to being a real news source.

[yurbud]

1. sometimes they've been dead on lately

[rurallib]

2. The Onion is certainly closer to reality than the M$M

[unblock]

3. someone please tell me this is satire!

hah! satire on top of satire!

don't try that at home, kids!

[magical thyme]

4. When did the Onion give up satire?

and switch to real news?