Answering Harvard’s question about her personal life, 52 years later

[n2doc]

By Phyllis Richman, Published: June 6

Phyllis Richman was a restaurant critic for The Washington Post from 1976 to 2000. She is the author of three food mysteries and many dining books.

June 9, 2013

Dear William A. Doebele Jr.,


I’m sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your letter from June 1961. As you predicted, I have been very busy. Recently, as I was cleaning out boxes of mementos, I came across your letter and realized that, even though we discussed it in person 52 years ago, I had never responded in writing.

In 1961 your letter left me down but not out. While women of my era had significant careers, many of them had to break through barriers to do so. Before your letter, it hadn’t occurred to me that marriage could hinder my acceptance at Harvard or my career. I was so discouraged by it that I don’t think I ever completed the application, yet I was too intimidated to contradict you when we met face to face.

At the time, I didn’t know how to begin writing the essay you requested. But now, two marriages, three children and a successful writing career allow me to, as you put it, “speak directly” to the concerns in your letter.

I haven’t encountered any women with “some feeling of waste about the time and effort spent in professional education.” I’ve never regretted a single course. In all, I attended graduate school for a dozen years, though only part-time, since my “responsibilities to [my] husband,” as you so perceptively put it, included supporting him financially through his own graduate studies, a 10-year project.


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http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/answering-harvards-question-about-my-personal-life-52-years-later/2013/06/06/89c97e2e-c259-11e2-914f-a7aba60512a7_story.html

[elleng]

1. Damn, glad I didn't see this earlier OR

experience same b.s. as Phyllis Richman, Ruth Bader (Ginsburg) and Sandra Day (O'Connor.) (Both of the Justices were refused jobs at law firms for a LONG time after law school.)

MOST glad my Dad encouraged me to attend law school, with not a BIT of the attitude expressed above and by others; what a special man he was. He will have been 100 in November of this year.

[SharonAnn]

2. I was once refused a job becasue I might married, have a child, and leave. "But, I protested,

I don't even have a date for Saturday night."

Interestingly, the admitted that I was the best candidate, best programming skills, most experience, etc. But "They just don't hire women for those jobs because they might leave."

My observation in the 1960's and 1970's was that it was the men who were much more likely to leave and the women who were much more likely to stay.

Ah well, what could've been! But I did manage to develop a career, thanks to a couple of boxes who were very unusual for their time. The focused on performance, not on gender or race.

[Laelth]

3. Excellent response. k&r n/t

-Laelth