A Generation Struggling: Rich Kids are Losing

[TexasTowelie]

By Dr. Brian Carr
President, Behavioral Health Associates, Lubbock, Texas, 1991-Present
Chairman, City of Lubbock Board of Health, 2013
Submitted on November 18, 2013 - 8:11am

It is somewhat surprising that the offspring of the affluent today are more distressed, more reactionary to problems, than other youth. High rates of substance abuse, depression, anxiety, cheating and stealing give a new meaning to “having it all”.

Suniya S. Luthar, Ph.D. in the December issue of Psychology Today notes that it is widely accepted in America that youth in poverty are at-risk for being troubled. Low family income is a major determinant of stress and problems.

But increasingly, significant problems are occurring at the other end of the socioeconomic spectrum, among youth who are on the fast track to the most prestigious universities and well-paying, high-status careers in America. Their parents’ annual income may be double or more the national average. Even with these advantages this group shows serious levels of maladjustment as teens and young adults.

Substance abuse, including hard drugs, may be much higher in this privileged group as they binge-drink and use marijuana at rates higher than their matched peer group who are less well-funded. Crime appears to be higher with the difference between rich and poor being the types of rule-breaking—wide spread cheating and random acts of delinquency, such as stealing from parents or peers, are more common among the rich, while inner-city teens are apt to commit crimes related to self-defense, such as carrying a weapon.

Research tends to find that affluent youths are not more troubled than others prior to adolescence. In my own practice the difference in behavior problems found in the older child versus those who have entered their teen years is significant. The younger child usually is responding simply to the lack of parental controls and will not engage in major infractions. However, the teenager may become involved in behaviors and actions that are gross violations of both their parent’s rules as well as the laws of the land.

I believe that some of this acting-out behavior is due to the pressure that is started to be applied when the child starts in middle school and life-goals start to be identified. What are their plans after high school? The child begins to focus on what is seen as important…primarily how to make lots of money!

Pride in performance becomes paramount and negative responses are heaped on the child who is not achieving. Criticism is often the principle communication between parent and teenager with good performance being rated as “only to be expected”. Parents serve as blocking guards in prompting the advance of their son or daughter. The expectation is that high marks are to be given even with marginal effort as the child is labelled as “being from a good family”.

Unfortunately, upon graduating from high school, a growing percentage of these affluent youth will discover the world is not circling around them. For those who enroll in college the message is “Work Hard and Party Hard” which may be their academic undoing as they fail to attend class or turn in assignments. Expectations for good grades may create stress on the student as they (or their parents) can no longer bully the professor into assigning a higher grade.

Seeing the success of their parents these young adults are frustrated by their own lack of attainment. They do not want to accept that it may take strong persistent effort over many years to set the stage for their ultimate success. They may have difficulty in seeking out other forms of self-definition that are not based on salary or material items.

We need to change our focus on performance as the exclusive measure of success among our people. If competition is the primary form of achievement than the appreciation of the commitment of friendship is difficult as goals become more important than friends. This is not a problem for someone else but instead is a threat to our society as these affluent children will become the leaders of tomorrow with their values shaping our society. In many ways I think we are already seeing the “me-first” attitude among those who are well off. The disdain for those who have achieved less is seen in the rise of the demands made against those are less successful.

We are losing our children to unrealistic expectations and setting the moment for class warfare if we don’t stop our exclusive focus on what we do rather than who we are.

TAGS:

LubbockOnline Blog
Losing our kids
Lubbock
Perry doesn't like children except for when they have checks
Pro-Life till Birth
Randy will starve em
Texas

http://lubbockonline.com/interact/blog-post/dr-brian-carr/2013-11-18/generation-struggling-rich-kids-are-losing

[DonCoquixote]

1. Brutal fact

The fact is, the kids are expected to be sociopaths, but that is what will keep the wealth flowing. Watch any reality show, like Real Housewives or the Kardashians, and you will see kids being rewarded for being nasty, means and vicious as their rich parents.

[adirondacker]

2. +1000. Excellent point! Some end up seeing the light, but they are the exception. nt

[Myrina]

3. Because they don't know how to be poor.

When the bottom (supposedly) fell out of everything in 2008, my bestie and I were talking and we realized that it really didn't affect us that much. Why? Because we're used to being poor. We're used to shopping at Goodwill, and buying groceries 'marked for quick sale'.
We know where all the consignment shops and 'half price happy hour with free chili dogs' places are.
We know which bill we can skip this month & not get service disconnected, or what the 'bare minimum due' is to keep creditors happy AND a little change in our pockets.

Kids who grew up with Mommy & Daddy turning them loose in Aeropostale with their platinum Amex don't know where to start.
The real world is totally foreign to them.