Do NOT say hello to me..

[yuiyoshida]

Last edited Fri Jul 25, 2014, 04:13 PM - Edit history (1)

***Edited to say: This is NOT me nor my video. Alison is a Chinese American living in New York city. I am a Japanese American born in San Francisco (My photo is in all my posts) and one can clearly see we are NOT THE same person. I enjoy her videos and you can find more of hers at youtube. I would also like to recommend "Community Channel" run by Natalie Tran. (She is Vietnamese born in Australia) whose videos are very funny.

[safeinOhio]

1. I tend to say hello to everyone.

Men, women, old, young, nice looking or ugly. Yet 25% of the time I'm viewed as being a creepy old white guy. I really don't care, Ill just keep saying hello.

[MynameisBlarney]

2. Same here.

And I wave at everyone too.

[tecelote]

42. Growing up in a small town, we said hello to everyone.

Everyone has seen the men she is talking about. They don't say hello to everybody. Only pretty young women.

So many people are afraid to say hello. They walk by with their eyes averted.

We need more people saying hello. 'Just not creepy men of any age.

Not saying hello is how people who were children of immigrants begin to hate immigrants of today. They stop seeing people because they avert their eyes.

Hello is a very important word in bringing America back together.

Say Hello and discover how many great people live around you.

[yuiyoshida]

57. As lovely as your

Philosophy is,striding thought the streets of New York City or any Major Metropolitan city saying hello to everyone might get you killed. A woman who refused to say hello to a man recently in NYC was shot where she stood. What makes you think the opposite is going to be acceptable?

[tecelote]

70. I've been to NYC many times.

'Never had a problem.

Same with LA, Chicago, Juarez, Lima, Toronto and many other major cities.

I think you find what you expect to find.

[Flatulo]

89. And we should condemn all Christians or Muslims based on the actions of a few crazies?

I don't say hello to anyone. I don't even look at people.

This is what we've sank to. It's kind of sad.

This video is celebrating the death of civility, and I see no reason to cheer it.

[yuiyoshida]

90. WOw you totally missed the entire point of the video...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1017204306#post73

[Flatulo]

91. No, I get the point just fine - some men are greeting with a leering, sneering intent.

That's what's bothersome to her.

I was responding to your comment that a woman was shot for not acknowledging a man. I'm suggesting that that is probably not the usual response, and is about as likely as getting blown up by crazed Muslim fanatic.

We're exhorted to not fear all Muslims based on the actions of a crazy few. But we should fear all men based on the actions of a crazy few?

Not only that, but 80% of assaults are committed by people the woman knows, so it's rather unlikely that a stranger in the street will hurt you.

And if the answer is "Yes, women need to fear all men", then why is their such rancor towards woman (and men) who carry guns to protect themselves?

The message seems very mixed to me.

Fear men, but especially those you know, but also the ones you don't. But don't extrapolate the behavior of a few crazies to the whole group, especially regarding Muslims, but it's OK to do it with men.

[yuiyoshida]

94. You seem to mention Muslims alot...

Right wingers are the ones who are nuts about the Muslim faith. I am Buddhist. I am not Christian. I have no problem with any ones faith so long as they don't run down the street chasing me with it, like some Born Again Christians did, a few years ago when they found out I was buddhist. It seemed like if they didn't convert me, their entire worth would be washed down the drain. So have no problem with Muslims.

As for scary men, I live in San Francisco. Most people are mellow here, but I have seen stuff in New York City that made me just want to move on. In all my years here, I have never seen any of that. When I walk down the street, here I feel fairly safe. This place is a tourist city and very friendly to most visitors. But people tend to keep to themselves and don't try and get in your face, like they did when I visited NYC. (All because I was wearing a Giants cap, some Yankee fan figured he had to get in my face about it.)

[Flatulo]

96. I'm an atheist, so I eschew all religions and pray to <nothing> for the day when we'll have evolved

past them.

But you seem like an intelligent person, surely you can research for yourself which religious adherents, be they Christian, Hindu, Bhuddist, Muslim, Rastafarian, Cheodonist or Builders of the Adytum explode with the greatest frequency, both as a percentage and in total numbers. The information is out there, I assure you.

FWIW, as a personal matter, I do find born-again Christians to be the most annoying to me personally. I actually sometimes wish they would explode near me, just so I wouldn't have to listen to their pitch for my soul one more time. And I personally don't have any problems with Hindus - I've worked with many Indian colleagues, and they're lovely people. Smart, hard working, their English is better than most native-born Americans, and they keep their spirituality to themselves. And I've made some very good friends from Turkey, Iran, and SA. But these are highly educated professionals, scientists and engineers, people who don't define their entire identity by their faith.

But my question was posed in good faith - why are we exhorted to not collectively blame all members of <insert category here> for the actions of a few extremists, but we do collectively blame all members of <insert less politically protected category here> for the actions of a few extremists?

Just something to think about. I honestly don't know the answer.

[Flatulo]

111. FYI, that dude who got in your face for wearing a Giants cap? That's assault. Not everyone knows

this. It is NOT Ok to invade someone's space and start screaming and waving your arms in their face. If someone physically touches you, then it's battery, which of course is worse, but verbal assault can be quite traumatic and do real harm to people. Think of it as a threat to commit bodily harm.

Of course, almost no one ever reports it, and if they did, they'd probably get laughed at by the cops, which is exactly why so many assholes think they can get away with it.

I'm really sorry you had to experience that.

That's why I just can't STAND crazed sports fans. They get a few beers in them, and they think they have the right to become animals.

And I'm sure many women feel the same way about being hailed on the street.

[yuiyoshida]

112. You are right...

If no one witnesses it, or even ignores it and you tell a cop standing near by, I am sure they would shrug their shoulders. Maybe its good we have cellphones as proof, but who has time to whip it out while you are being harassed. Especially when you are looking for your mace.

[Flatulo]

113. Taser :)

[redqueen]

73. "Everyone has seen the men she is talking about. They don't say hello to everybody. Only pretty

Only pretty young women."

Exactly. Yet look at how many ignore this very obvious fact in order to try to change the subject.

Even you, yourself, did so.

Why? This OP is not about how sad it is that people don't say a friendly hello.

It is about those creepy fuckers.

[abelenkpe]

83. Amazing how many people didn't get that. nt

[redqueen]

84. Oh I think they do.

Now as for why they choose to ignore her point, talk about something else, or find reasons to criticize her...

[Iggo]

3. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!

[elleng]

52. as my daughters said to me and their father,

when they were little!!!

[NaturalHigh]

4. I wasted fifty seconds on that.

Fortunately, I managed to hit the pause button before having to listen to the other fifty seconds.

[yuiyoshida]

5. So what you're sayin is...

You hated it? Thanks for the Kick

[NaturalHigh]

6. You're welcome.

[zeemike]

8. I can only tell you it did not get any better.

[NaturalHigh]

9. Thanks. I kind of figured as much.

It will go over better in HOF.

[yuiyoshida]

14. You say that like as if

There are different kinds of people in HOF who would appreciate it more, why is that?

[NaturalHigh]

15. I'll let you figure it out.

You already posted it there, so I'm sure you already know what I mean.

[yuiyoshida]

16. I would honestly like to hear your opinion

Are you saying that people there a different there then out here?

[NaturalHigh]

17. Sorry, but I can't give you my honest opinion.

It will be alerted on by one of the faithful. Look up alert-stalking.

[yuiyoshida]

18. That seems pretty sad that you can't feel safe

giving your honest opinion on a Democratic Website.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

54. yeah, it is pretty sad and yeah

I don't feel safe.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

53. oh really

seems I was the one alert stalked in HoF but, whatever.

[NaturalHigh]

61. I don't know what you're talking about.

To the best of my knowledge, I've never alerted on one of your posts. If you were alerted on in HOF, I can assure you it wasn't me.

[NaturalHigh]

64. I have no idea why that was hidden.

There is obviously some back story there that I know nothing about. Clicking on your reply sent me to HOF, though, so I see why they came over here now.

[1monster]

33. Honest opinion: The girl comes across as an elitist twit.

By the way, I'm female and have been on the receiving end of unwanted attention.

[yuiyoshida]

35. Elitists?

Since when are Minority women ever in a position to be Elitist?

[seabeyond]

39. and a twit? granted, less facial expressions and hand action, but...

she is young, and her message right on.

surely, we can give her a break.

the poster is a woman, understands the issue and still dismisses this young woman as a twit.

ok.

this video is a fav. i love. thank you. thank you for putting this in our thread. let ONE listen to what is being said. totally awesome.

maybe since it is a mans voice, it will be heard. we can hope.

rejection never sounds.....

so sweet.

[1monster]

40. "Crumbs in your crevices" Yeah an elitist twit.

She was being insulting and meant to be.

I for one do not believe that the way to deal with those without manners is to descend to their level.

[1monster]

41. Oh. Excuse me. I didn't understand that I was supposed to respond to her as a "minority" woman.

I tend not to notice, other than superficially, the ethnicity of people because it is not important to me.

As any reasonably attractive woman, I encountered plenty of sexual harassment in my younger years (when it was pretty much mainstream). You might be surprised at the efficacy of a subtly raised eyebrow and a slight roll of the eyes with a single negative move of the head.

[Flatulo]

100. When they're physically attractive. Being good-looking is another oft-unacknowledged type of

privilege.

But be of good cheer - if you weren't aware of this, you're probably fortunate enough to be physically attractive.

http://www.businessinsider.com/attractive-people-are-more-successful-2012-9

http://press.princeton.edu/titles/9516.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/games-primates-play/201203/the-truth-about-why-beautiful-people-are-more-successful

[Flatulo]

98. Actually, she is quite intelligent, funny and charming, but the video seemed elitist to me.

If I were forty years younger, I'd say Get over yourself already.

Then again, I've never been on the receiving end of unwanted attention, but my wife has, for most of her life. She's pretty easy-going and accessible (sometimes I think too much so - plenty of men get the wrong idea if you even make eye-contact with them), and usually returns the hello. If the attention persists, she changes her body language and turns into Frankenstein's monster. It's always worked, and she's never been followed or worse, thank goodness.

[yuiyoshida]

101. yay!! \o/

[LanternWaste]

38. And wasted another fifty seconds typing out your response.

And wasted another fifty seconds typing out your response. Might be time to find a how-to manual on time-management... as you don't seem to be very capable at it in the here and now...

[NaturalHigh]

43. And another voice heard from...

Thanks for your kind concern. I'll think long and hard about it - at least fifty seconds.

[yuiyoshida]

58. wait..that was another...

hmmm 20 seconds, makes sure you add that, please!!!

[NaturalHigh]

60. Don't worry, I will.

I used to teach math, so I'm pretty good at basic arithmetic.

[abelenkpe]

82. Also, expert at judging something you didn't even watch until the end.

Bet you're just sad to learn your Hello's were viewed as creepy and unwelcome.

[NaturalHigh]

86. What makes you think I say hello to strangers?

Thanks to the advice I've received here, I don't even open doors for people any more. I wouldn't want to offend anyone.

[stlsaxman]

7. Hopefully she'll work through these issues...

at some point in her future. That future where she's OLD and has crumbs in the crevasses of her body.

(why am i even wasting my time with this?)

[NaturalHigh]

10. LOL

[ismnotwasm]

21. Well we have it in HOF now

So you should be quite satisfied.

[NaturalHigh]

32. Outstanding! Enjoy!

[TygrBright]

13. Oh, did she say "CRUMBS?" I thought she said "CHROME!" and I was all, like...

..."girl, WHERE do you hang out?"

amusedly,
Bright

[ismnotwasm]

26. Good question.

[PasadenaTrudy]

11. I can relate

totally. She's a bit annoying, but I find most young people to be annoying

[TygrBright]

12. I hope that my grandson's daughters...

...(should he have any, he's still in second grade so who knows?) will live in a world where people who say "hello" to strangers in public places are 99.999% people who are doing so for one of the following reasons:

1. They feel good about themselves and life and just want to share their enjoyment of being in this world, with no expectations in return; or

2. They see what looks like an intelligent, interesting person who might possibly be worth getting to know as a friend, and want to signal that they'd be cool with that, again with no expectations in return.

And only .0001% people who are doing so because they think they're entitled to acknowledgment of their existence from strangers, for any reason at all, even if it isn't skeevy.

I hope that, anyway.

What a different world it will be.

prognosticatorially,
Bright

[redqueen]

74. Considering how many people here are choosing to criticize her instead of addressing her point,

or just changing the subject altogether rather than addressing her point...

And the fact that we are still facing some of the same issues that feminists were trying to fight decades ago...

[rurallib]

19. I guess she is talking about harrassment, but

out here in small town midwest I have always smiled, waved or tipped my head and said some equivalent of hello.
I drove my nephew nuts visiting him in Chicago, I drive my kid crazy in Minnesota, but many of them say hello back.

[yuiyoshida]

20. It maybe perfectly safe out in the Rural areas

But walk down a street in NEW YORK CITY and say hello to everyone, and you probably won't get a reply, but you might than again attract the kind of trouble you would hardly ever expect or want.

[tecelote]

71. Not just rural places... it works everywhere. Even big bad NYC.

I understand your concern with men that are not saying hello to be nice. That is wrong everywhere. You should ignore them.

But why are you arguing against one person saying hello to another?

I'm also from a small town and I love to walk when I visit places.

I've walked down the streets of Juarez (way tougher than NYC) and greeted people.

'Never been shot at or mugged. But, I have met a lot of great people.

Of course, I expect that. You expect the worst. It might be that we find what we're looking for.

[jimlup]

22. I understand and mostly agree with what you've said - however...

While you may not like the current state of affairs what you describe is a fairly far cry from much worse cat calls and stuff which I know my daughter has experienced.

Also, as an older human I'll just add a touch of wisdom. You'll be much more unhappy when it stops. Just sayn'.

[ismnotwasm]

25. Well it hasn't totally stopped for me and I'm 54 years old

But it's slowed way down and the freedom, the freedom-- it's indescribably delicious. I'm sorry you or someone you know misses that shit. It was a misery to me. The video is actually not about a friendly hello, it's about street harassment, and putting qualifiers on what is actually said completely misses the point.

[jimlup]

27. Whatever

I'm not in to arguing fine points today. Or interpretations based on individual perspectives. I'm just pleasantly commenting on the video to the original poster thank you.

[ismnotwasm]

28. Okey dokey

It sounded like you were giving the OP advice to me. My bad

[jimlup]

29. No worries!

I'm headed into the back country today (about 24 hours from now actually) for a climb of Blanca Peak in Colorado. So I'm trying to stay on the lighter side of things today. Nothing like a good back country trip to put things into perspective!

[seabeyond]

30. wait. you are a man telling a young woman that she will be unhappy when it stops. when an older

woman corrects you..... lol, you dismiss her.

i am with ism....

okie dokie. lol

[jimlup]

31. you mean that because I'm an "old" man

my perspective is irrelevant. Okie dokie...

You know you have no clue who I am or what I have been through in my life.

Further, I didn't dismiss her. I just implied that I didn't want to argue about perspectives today. While I did imply that there are other perspectives on the issue i surely don't care what yours is. As you don't care what mine is.


Disrespect is mutual you know. I think we all would do better if we realized people had different perspectives on life. But I think many of us can't think outside of our own circumstances. And further default to making assumptions about other people's perspectives. I put you firmly in that category.

[seabeyond]

36. yes. on this, your perspective is irrelevant. have you had upward of FOUR DECADES of men taking

ownership of your being through these comments? no. no, you are clueless if you are not even attempting to understand, yet dismiss that after upward of four decades, we will miss it.

that simple.

[jimlup]

46. Anticipated passive-aggressive response

You would do well to study ancient teachings. That is all.

[seabeyond]

47. there was nothing passive about the aggressiveness in my post, what so ever.

i kinda say what i think. i do not want people to have to work at figuring it out.

jimlup. enjoy your trip into the colorado mountains. it sounds like bliss.

[jimlup]

48. I don't say what I think

Because people don't understand it.

I'll say a cheer for you on Blanca's summit. No hard feelings OK?

[seabeyond]

49. i would say never...

to the hard feelings. but, it is MOSTLY never. i generally do not see it all of who a person is.

i have been all over colorado, and the mountains. i swear the silverton/million dollar hwy gave me ptsd, it was not pretty. then i had to drive mountain roads all over the northwest. wasnt pretty. i still have flash backs on that stupid stupid road. i will have to check out where blanca is, but, like i said, i have been all over colorado, and most all beautiful. though summit and pass would put me in terror, lol. see, you post is giving me flashbacks. i admire those not afraid of heights. enjoy.

[jimlup]

50. Be well

I will do what I said when I'm on the summit.

Of all of the things I'm afraid of height is not one of them. (With the exception of a self arrest emergency stop with an ice axe incident I had on Longs Peak about 5 years ago - until I got clipped into the fixed line I was terrified so maybe I understand what your fear is like.) I have a healthy respect for the mountains but I don't fear them.

[redqueen]

75. "You'll be much more unhappy when it stops. Just sayn'."

You're as wrong as an anti choice zealot talking about abortion. Just sayin.

[jimlup]

77. It was just a comment

jeeze I really didn't mean to inflame or offend. Chill out already.

I'm a 56 year old man and I know from personal experience that Women do not look at me or treat me in the same way that they once did. That is all. Take that for what it's worth. If it is worth nothing then take it as nothing. Jeeze some folks are touchy!

[redqueen]

78. Your lack of interest in or empathy regarding feminist issues is noted. nt

[jimlup]

80. Thanks...

Just as a side comment I think the feminists here might make a tad more progress if they had a tiny bit more insight into human beings.

And by the way, I have a daughter and I understand that she feels sexually harassed at times. Curiously enough, and I'm sure you couldn't possibly imagine it but I feel that I've been "sexually harassed" as well at times in my life. We might make progress on the issue if we could actually talk to each other about it but certain feelings seem to be so strong that that is impossible.

[redqueen]

81. Geez buddy, lighten up

It's just an opinion no need to be so touchy.

[jimlup]

85. Back at yah

[CBGLuthier]

79. Man, you picked a perfect avatar

Since you seem to like to fling shit so much.

I am an "older man" and I am appalled at how women minding their own fucking business are treated by clueless assholes.

Yesterday I watched an episode of Gunsmoke that started with Miss Kitty getting abused by a man who actually said the exact things these idiots say. Stuff like how she shouldn't dress nice if she doesn't want to "be friendly."


A forty-year old TV show understood it. Why the fuck don't you?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

93. now, that is a good question =

A forty-year old TV show understood it. Why the fuck don't you?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. this is like the difference between

asking = How you doing

and Joey in Friends

asking = How YOU doing

anyone can see the difference in the body language and, in the inflection and tone of the spoken words.

[seabeyond]

24. as the young woman states, clearly. the difference is recognized. i know it, she knows it and the

men doing it know it.

for people on this thread to pretend otherwise is dishonest.

but, not unexpected.

it is a game, yui

[yuiyoshida]

34. I find it a little disturbing that

what is applied in HOF is not APPLIED outside of HOF. This is DU... I would think with all the many posts on Women being Street Hassled some people might just get it... some don't and others seem to think she's just complaining to be annoying. Um...no.

[seabeyond]

37. there are those that hold on tight to this issue. it is a reward one way or another and they

are not about to let it go. whether it is a woman that depends on this for affirmation of her worth, especially as she ages, which is incredibly sad. or the man that is trying to hold onto his youth (and lordy we know that cant happen, we age) by injecting himself in a sexual ownership of a young woman that would more readily duck her head in embarrassment and intimidation, so he can meet his definition of masculinity.

when people choose to step on others toes, you know there is a reward in it for them.

[Damansarajaya]

44. I just tell people "go to hell."

They generally don't even notice as long as you smile and nod.

[yuiyoshida]

55. In NYC that can get you a

broken Jaw or worse.

[GeorgeGist]

45. OK.

[JEFF9K]

51. Kind of unfair to tease us into giving you YouTube views.

So I decided not to watch. I have posted links to my own videos, but have given enough information so people can decide whether they want to watch.

[yuiyoshida]

56. WELL YA KNOW...

I didn't make THE VIDEO... so I DON'T GET ANY brownie points, or whatever they give on Youtube.com. THANKS for assuming this pretty girl is me..and for the KICK.

OH and by the way, MY photo is in my POSTINGS. Maybe you CAN DO a comparison between her face and mine..She is Chinese and I am Japanese. Maybe it will help you tell the difference.

[JEFF9K]

87. The BIGGER POINT is that links should have some accompanying text ...

... so that others can decide whether to click.

[yuiyoshida]

88. I didn't realize that was a hard and fast rule on DU

In fact, many times that is not the case. I am sorry you couldn't tell the content from just looking at her pretty face. IF you can't tell, and don't wish to click the video, than don't. It will save face for you later down the road.

[Squinch]

72. ...well, now...that was...ummmm...awkward of you...

[JEFF9K]

104. Only a stupid person describes factual comments as awkward.

[Squinch]

108. You have just been told by the person you insulted that you were completely off base in a number of

ways, yet you insist that you are being "factual" and you call people names as if you are a two-year-old.

And I bet you truly believe that you are in the right. And will never believe differently.

[redqueen]

76. LOL... you sure think you know a lot, don't you?

[JEFF9K]

105. Nothing I said was unreasonable.

[moriah]

102. Need a towel to wipe some of that egg of your face?

Here ya go.

[JEFF9K]

103. That not an intelligent comment.

People's photos can vary widely from one to another.

And Avatar pics are often from childhood.

Most Europeans can't distinguish between the appearance of various Asian groups.

I am 100% correct in noting the impoliteness/dishonesty/trickery that may be involved in making people watch a video they may not want to watch.

And you spelled "off" wrong.

It's YOU that needs an egg-wiping towel.

[moriah]

106. You made the ASSummption that two Asian women were the same person.

And then used that ASSumption to attack the poster for posting a very well-thought-out video about catcalling.

And justify that ASSumption by saying that most Europeans can't tell them apart. How about making an effort?

[Squinch]

109. You might want to proofread your own post, dear, before you correct another' s spelling and suggest

they lack intelligence.

[yuiyoshida]

59. From Alison

[Tuesday Afternoon]

63. thanks for sharing that, yui

tell Alison Hey for me.

[yuiyoshida]

66. If you are on twitter..

you can find her here: https://twitter.com/ilikealison or If not, I will pass on your message

[Tuesday Afternoon]

67. yes, please pass it on I am already online so much ... I just can not bring myself to twitter, too.

Honestly, think I am suffering from internet overload as it is.

<---- for Alison from TA at DU

[yuiyoshida]

68. I also sent her the links to this thread

The ones in Feminists, HOF and another of her videos I posted in V&M forum. I am hoping she will join DU, but she makes so many videos, its almost a full time job. It be nice to have a few more Asian people on this website!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

69. I am so glad you did that. You are so right. It would be great to have some more diverstiy on DU.

I hope she joins, too

[Tuesday Afternoon]

92. Kicking because this generated an awesome thread in HoF. Thanks, yui !!

[yuiyoshida]

95. I originally posted her thoughts on being Asian ..

But when I heard this small rant, and with the recent talk about street Harassment, figured it was a good vid to toss out, plus she is funny sometimes, and does these video blogs really well. Her Hero is Community Channel on Youtube, as is mine. Natalie Tran is awesome as well.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

99. Will check them out. Thanks for the info.

[yuiyoshida]

107. Hey thanks for your kind words

and the Kick. I knew this video would strike a chord since there has already been a discussion on street harassment.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

110. oh yeah ...

the - discussion - on street harassment.