What Happens When You Raise Kids With No Religion?

[Quixote1818]

[abelenkpe]

1. K&R

[thesquanderer]

2. Here's the article

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-0115-zuckerman-secular-parenting-20150115-story.html

[Quixote1818]

23. Thanks for the link. nt

[passiveporcupine]

3. While I agree with the study

I almost couldn't watch this. He came across as so judgmental, angry and pompous, he was the exact opposite of what the study shows secular people to be.

It was a little bit infuriating to hear someone use all that vulgarity and angry voice to try to explain the reasons that secularism might be better for us.

I happen to be an atheist, but I'm not angry about it (at least most of the time ).

[Archae]

4. Reminds me of Madeline O'Hare.

Like her, I'm an atheist, but she went out of her way to be obnoxious, overbearing, dismissive and nasty.

And that was to her allies.

Christopher Hitchens was a drunken asshole.

[AlbertCat]

16. Christopher Hitchens was a drunken asshole.

Yes... that's all he was. He had nothing whatsoever to contribute.

[stillrockin67]

22. Limited reading experience

You need to read "God Is Not Great." You would then realize Hitchens contributed greatly.

[AlbertCat]

24. You need to read "God Is Not Great."

I was being sarcastic.

I have read.... and agree with a lot.... of what he said.

[stillrockin67]

25. My bad!

I apologize for my denseness. Usually I'm pretty good at discerning irony.

[AlbertCat]

27. I apologize for my denseness.

No need.

It wasn't clear. Shoulda used the thingie. Besides, I was parroting something one might actually hear... like in the post I responded to.

[kag]

5. I didn't find him THAT over-the-top.

My husband is normally a pretty low-key guy, but when you start talking about religion he gets angry. He simply points to all of the atrocities committed in the name of "God" or some particular religion, and then pretty much rests his case. I used to argue with him that not ALL religious people are bad, but I've stopped trying. He knows, he just passionately despises religion for all of the damage it causes, and I can't argue with that.

BTW, we have raised our kids in an areligious household, and they are the most compassionate, sympathetic (to a fault--especially my son), caring, intelligent people on the planet (but then, I'm their mom .

[AlbertCat]

17. I didn't find him THAT over-the-top.

Neither do I.

He doesn't sound angry either. More like frustrated that such a simple notion is incomprehensible to a lot of the religious.

[Lorien]

6. I was raised in a secular home

God was a subject that hardly ever came up. I remember asking my dad once if he believed in a God, and he said that he didn't, but added "but you'll have to decide for yourself if YOU believe in a God or not at some point when you are older. What I believe shouldn't influence you in that decision."

Yes, the "golden rule" was how we were "taught" morality, though our parents would also always ask us "does that seem like the right thing to do?" because they knew that we would simply know if an action was right or wrong. Years later when I met my first fundamentalist (I went to liberal private schools as a kid, so I didn't meet any religious people until I was out of high school) and they asked me what prevented me from stealing and killing people it kind of freaked me out. I couldn't wrap my brain around the idea that they would think about doing such things if they didn't have the threat of eternal damnation hanging over them! Are they just sociopaths? Outright psychopaths? It's just bizarre.

Anyway, flash forward 30 years and my mom has gone from compassionate atheist to born again southern Baptist. The angry, judgmental, God fearing, hears-voices-in-her-head batshit crazy kind. I don't even know how to talk to her anymore, so I've cut off communication with her. I really wish things could be different between us, but how does anyone have a conversation with someone who believes that every thought that pops into her head is a directive from the almighty? That every good thing that happens to those around her is a result of her prayers, and every bad thing that happens is a result of the rest of us not praying properly? That war, torture, hunger, and poverty don't matter all that much because suffering is "good and noble" and brings people "closer to God", while porn, gambling, swearing, and sexuality in general are the great evils that need to be fought? If someone knows, then perhaps they'll fill me in, because I'm at a loss.

[flygal]

7. sad what happened to your mom

I was raised without religion because my father is agnostic and my mom was Catholic and said things she found out turned her off. But, in her older age she had a friend take her back to Catholic church and she found a "progressive" priest and almost ten years later she still goes. She says she feels good, likes the sense of community and ritual.

My dad is still atheist but says he will defend to his dying breath anyone's right to whatever religion, or no religion they choose.

[mountain grammy]

10. Sorry about your mother..

It's so sad to lose a parent this way.

[maddiemom]

13. If we are fortunate enough to reach our "golden years," and thus closer to death,

things get a bit scary for us atheists and agnostics. If we are, at least, fairly intelligent, we can't help pondering, not only why we are here, but also realize that we'll probably never know. Doesn't this make even true geniuses a little crazy? My mom, an atheist, was cool with it all her life, but when she died at ninety-one, and had very little quality of life left, my brother once wondered why she was hanging on so hard (she was never really senile, just badly losing her grip, mentally and physically). I'm sure she was cognizant enough to want to hang on to the life she knew, despite her condition.

[merrily]

8. Depends in part on the kid and in part on what you DO raise the kid with.

Some of the most scrupulously moral and ethical people I know were raised without organized religion and some without any religion.

[AlbertCat]

18. Parents are just part of a kid's environment.

We all like to blame things on parents, but it has been shown that kids' peers have more influence than parents. This has been obvious for centuries.... By the fact that kids of immigrants do not speak with their parents' accent, but seek with their peers accent... and accents are developed very early.... before you can even speak properly, when you're "goo-gooing".

The parents have more genetic influence, but otherwise.... not so much. But of course if the parents create a secular environment....

[weissmam]

9. religion

religion is both a waste of time and money

[hueymahl]

11. For you, and for many

But not all. I am essentially atheist, but I appreciate the peace and comfort religion brings to many of those around me. And I respect how the rituals tie you to prior generations, make you aware of others. No need to respond with all the bad things people have done in the name of religion, I have read it all. But religion per se is not uniformly bad. And for many, it fills a great need and helps stabilize them in a difficult world.

[AlbertCat]

19. And for many, it fills a great need and helps stabilize them in a difficult world.

With lies.

I think it is uniformly bad.

I think it would be better if we had people who faced reality instead of running to some ancient security blanket that they spend money and time on, and it's all lies and a con.

It's not really a family.
It's not really all friends.
It's not offering real solutions.

I think you pay a lot for the delusions. And not with just money.

Why can't we rally around something real, not made up?

[roody]

12. Churches, for good or ill, give people a family.

[AlbertCat]

20. Churches, for good or ill, give people a family.

Everyone already has a real family.

Families aren't so great all the time.

Look at the way different sects fight all the time.

[ladjf]

26. Worse than that, it trains people to think irrationally which is dangerous. nt

[IHateTheGOP]

14. "Lighthouses are more useful than churches," Ben Franklin

He was a smart man.

[central scrutinizer]

15. Our daughter asked us, when she was in third grade,

"Why am I the only kid in my class who doesn't believe in God?" We thought she should have some idea of the common threads among all the major religions so we started attending the local Uniarian Universalist church. She made some good friends in the youth group and has grown up into a wonderful young woman who volunteers widely in the community

[progressoid]

21. Rec!