Stephen Colbert - Monologue and Opening - 9/5/19

[Rhiannon12866]

Trump Is Obsessed With Proving Hurricane Dorian's Threat To Alabama

As Hurricane Dorian was flooding the streets of Charleston, SC, the President remained obsessed with proving his claim that the storm originally threatened Alabama.




Dems Lay Down Hard Truths About Climate Change

Plastic straws were among the many topics discussed at the CNN town hall featuring all of the top Democratic presidential candidates.




Hey Former Trump Administration Officials: Your Future Is Bright

Disgraced former Trump deputy Sebastian Gorka has made a triumphant return to television, starring in a fish oil supplements ad.




Meanwhile... Ben & Jerry's New Flavor Is A Head-Scratcher

The latest flavor from the beloved Vermont ice cream makers, 'Justice ReMix'd,' supports a worthy cause but risks bumming out people who turn to their cold creamy pints for emotional support.




Chicken Impossible

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: infiltrate Popeye's and acquire a chicken sandwich.



FYI: If you're looking for Stephen's interview with tonight's guest, Mayor Pete Buttigieg, it's posted in Democratic Primaries:

Stephen Colbert: Guest Mayor Pete Buttigieg Wants To Solve Problems For The Next Generation
https://www.democraticunderground.com/1287267354

[crazytown]

1. When you are in a hole ...

call in a bulldozer.



Seriously, what is wrong with the guy? Stephen tore him into itty-bitty bits.

[Rhiannon12866]

2. Stephen tears him to bits every single night, that's why I watch and started posting him.

He really pushes the envelope and the other late night hosts have gotten on board. And it's reassuring to know that we're definitely not alone!

[crazytown]

3. And I've just read this

trump has called a Fox reporter into the Oval Office to argue Alabama
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-news-live-tweets-today-tax-fraud-alabama-hurricane-dorian-update-a9094061.html

Stephen reassures me that it is Not Me who is going insane. The weirder it gets, the better the humor. :hugs:

[Rhiannon12866]

4. Exactly!

It's reassuring to hear someone tell us every night that it's really not us who are the insane ones and that we're really not alone!

[lapfog_1]

6. trump trying to get out of Hurricane Alabama

[Fritz Walter]

5. I'm thinking about changing my User Name now

Either:
Majotity, or
Majotity Rules.

What do you think?

[crazytown]

7. Just don't include ads for implants :)

[cp]

8. So many funny bits

Actually helps me relax. Thank you.