Stephen Colbert - Monologue and Opening - 10/3/19

[Rhiannon12866]

Trump Tries To Normalize His Criminal Behavior By Doing It In Public

President Trump doubled down on his impeachable behavior on Thursday, using his 'Chopper Talk' time with reporters to signal that he wants China to investigate Joe and Hunter Biden.




The Weird Conspiracy Theories Sucking Trump Down The Whirlpool Of Shame

Yesterday Congress heard 'bizarre and confusing' testimony from the State Department Inspector General who delivered an urgent briefing on a packet of shady materials likely provided by none other than Rudy Giuliani.




Meanwhile... Things That Only Happen To White People

Meanwhile... A police officer showed a teen how to tie his tie during a traffic stop. You can read all about it in Meanwhile's favorite magazine about things that only happen to white people.




Cookie Monster Spells S-U-B-P-O-E-N-A

Friend of the show, Cookie Monster, heard that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was handing out subpoenas like cookies. So he did what a Cookie Monster does best.

[Mc Mike]

1. tRump knows if something's bad, you don't admit it in public,

so if he admits it in public, it must not be bad.

Act proud about something you should be ashamed of, that never seems to fail. -- Col. Korn, Catch 22.

[Rhiannon12866]

7. They were just talking about this on MSNBC, relating this to Trump and Putin

They said this is the way that mobsters operate - talk about crimes they intend to commit and then claim they were joking. Putin did this just the other day and Trump has been doing this every time he opens his mouth.

[Mc Mike]

8. Interesting. The russkies used to indict us, our country and government, as 'gangsters'.

Last edited Thu Oct 10, 2019, 09:00 AM - Edit history (1)

Now Putin runs the russkie mob, and got an american mob suck up put in as puppet president.

His ridiculous coke abuser-like sniffs are his Hymen Roth / Meyer Lansky impersonation, that he got from Roy Cohn.

I can just see Vito Genovese, at his deportation hearing, telling the judge he was just 'being sarcastic'.

I agree that the mob bosses tell their flunkies conspiratorial plans, then tell the court later that they were joking, to avoid conspiracy charges and pin the crime on the underlings who committed the crime (they went broken arrow) and turned state's evidence and relayed the boss's conversation about planned conspiracy.

But they don't do it right on the stage, in front of cameras, with a megaphone. They're not joking or being sarcastic at press conferences where they proudly conspire. They don't even want phones around them when they're conspiring.

The closest thing to it would be Joe Colombo's Italian American Anti Defamation League campaign, before he got shot by some other mob boss. But Joe wasn't saying 'here's my plan to hijack that liquor shipment and run heroin' in front of mainstream mass media, then also saying he 'was joking or being sarcastic' to avoid the fallout.

DeNiro called Rump a disappointed Dunsky. He's a fake old tough guy candy ass half a mobster. Like he's a fake half a WASP aristocrat white collar wall st crook.

Dave Cay Johnston or Wayne Barrett said he never once went to talk to the Philly Mob's Scarfos or Testas in person, always sent a paid underling. He could never take the slightest personal physical risk, he was too delicate and precious. He's real good at playing Don Corleone onstage at a distance, though.

[Rhiannon12866]

9. What boggles my mind is that he's clearly from the Cold War generation

Just after WWII who hated the nazis and saw the Russians as our greatest threat. How he could avoid that mindset or hearing about this from everyone he encountered growing up when he did is a mystery to me.

I didn't experience WWII, but I sure knew who the nazis were, that was one of the basic facts of history that you learned in school. And the Russians scared me to death, I'm old enough to remember Khrushchev and my kindergarten class cowering in the school basement as part of some drill.

As for Trump's mob ties, you're right, he was obviously a very poor student of their behavior as he was for everything else. Back in the day, they operated as a kind of underworld that was tough to infiltrate, those who gave things away came to a bad end - they hardly announced their nefarious intentions on national TV!

[Mc Mike]

10. His klan dad was also a bund-er, no doubt. They're from the 'repugs who are sorry hitler lost'

crowd, I bet.

Fascinating to see how the 'anti-commie' birchers jumped right in to action putting this russkie puppet in power, even though his only foreign policy and national security experience was via his Jewish organized crime ties. Bircher anti-semite alex jones could push fluoridation conspiracies, then go drink russian vodka in a toast with putin's people, when they succeeded in getting their boy elected together.

There are some repug clowns calling us commies and socialists, today, while their coomps wear shirts to Rump events that say 'Rather be Russian than a Democrat'. Nobody's been tougher on Russia than shitler, while he dismantles sanctions and says how he luvs putin. Wouldn't it be nice if we could get along with russia, while he attacks all our NATO allies openly.

I remember talking to some young guys ~ 20 years ago, who were interested in the Black Panther's history. One of them had the idea that the political org was like organized crime, and I pointed out all the high profile stuff the Panthers did, while the organized crime elements operating in the same cities as the panthers at that time did everything they could to keep a low profile behind the scenes. They hated media coverage, big mouths, and boat rocking.

[mysteryowl]

2. Cookie Monster song is the best!!

"A" is for get your big ass out the door!!

[Rhiannon12866]

3. Colbert has really been on fire this week!

And his Openings always make me laugh - which is something we desperately need right now!

[cp]

4. Really enjoyed these!

Thank you, Rhiannon.

[Rhiannon12866]

5. Colbert really is a national treasure these days

It really does help to laugh rather than cry - and his Openings have been inspired!