When Amber speaks, I laugh. . . Or, I learn.

[Collimator]

Obviously, posting this here at DU amounts to preaching to the choir. It is still worth watching, however, because it can help White allies to clarify their thinking on the subject and strengthen anyone's talking points when discussing this issue.

I had a former housemate, (not my choice), who responded to the BLM protests after George Floyd's death by declaring, "Seems to me, if you keep your mouth shut and do what you're told, you won't have any problems." Talk of politics is strongly discouraged by the homeowners here, which may have been for the best. I was sick with rage at his statement, and had to leave the room. And this was before I listened to Amber Ruffin's run of stories about her personal experiences with the police on Late Night with Seth Meyers.

One time, he was trying to make innocuous conversation and I couldn't hold it in any more when he asked if something was bothering me. "You know that I don't like you!" I blurted. Not my finest hour, but I was trying to give him credit for having enough intelligence to realize that his conversation attempts were pointless and couldn't we just nod to each other in passing? While trying to make that point, he went ahead and addressed me as a "Fucking Pig Cunt" several times, with a little addendum each time. "Fucking Pig Cunt, nobody likes you!" "Fucking Pig Cunt, you don't know anything!" Honestly, his lack of variation in expletives became boring.

Naturally, this exchange raised my blood pressure, but it honestly didn't make me as angry as his other statements on police treatment of Black people, illegal immigrants and rape. ( He told this joke three times: "I'm thinking of suing the Catholic Church. I was never molested--now I don't feel pretty." )

Happily, this person no longer lives in the house where I rent. Now, you may be wondering why I am writing out this lengthy essay in a post that begins with an excellent video discussing the critical issue of police brutality towards Blacks. Typical White woman--making it about her, would not be an unreasonable thought. Well, the video above forces me to think about awful things that happen in the world which deepens my depression. Sometimes I can cope by viewing other online content that is cute or funny.

Or, sometimes, I revisit things that upset me greatly and that I got through in some way. It's a method of processing ugly reality that makes me feel a little bit less powerless. There is so much sheer awfulness going on everywhere right now that threatens to send me down the rabbit hole of thought that has led me to be hospitalized twice. It may be the world's weirdest coping mechanism, but letting myself disappear down a slightly less dangerous rabbit hole seems to help.

Of course, I hope this video offers valuable food for thought. With any luck, my ramblings may also help someone to process some of their own pain.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

1. That was painful to watch, on a number of different levels (nt)