Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

[syringis]

The answer was purportedly in response to the bonus question on a chemistry exam :

“Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?”

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

The student received A+

[PJMcK]

1. I read something similar some time ago

If Heaven is as bright as the Bible describes, then the quantity of light would make Heaven hotter than Hell.

I'll have to look for the article. It was filled with mathematic equations to prove its point.

This student's essay is terrific!

[syringis]

2. Hello PJmcK

I'm not sure it is a real answer, it is a joke probably. But yes, the answer is terrific

It is relatively old. First time I heard it, it was 2 decades ago or so.

[PJMcK]

3. In both examples, there is a profound assumption

These analyses of Heaven and Hell presuppose that the Laws of Physics that we've discovered over the past 500+ years would apply "universally."

I'm not a believer in Heaven or Hell-- or much else for that matter!-- but if they exist, our Physics and other sciences cannot be applicable given the descriptions of these places in religious literature.

Have a great Sunday, syringis!

[syringis]

4. I believe in...

...Hell, we're living in

Have a great sunday too PJMcK

[still_one]

5. I suspect you are right, it is most likely a humorous anecdote, nevertheless terrific. Thanks

[Kilgore]

6. Bless you my child

For thou hast begun my day in a humorous manner.

[syringis]

8. Hello Kilgore

My pleasure

Any laugh is good to take in these sad times we're living in

It makes my day if I can bring you a smile, even if it is only for a few seconds.

Have a nice sunday Kilgore

[Wounded Bear]

7. Ain't Science grand?

[syringis]

9. Hello Wounded Bear

Very grand


I have a great concern know...

If Hell has already frozen over, where will park Trump et al ???