HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » The DU Lounge (Forum) » Does anybody have a good ...

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:35 PM

Does anybody have a good tip for me...

I have gotten a few:

Donít pick your nose on the bumper cars.

Donít brush your teeth with a brick.

Donít wear spurs in the life raft.

Donít stick a steak knife in your eye.
(That is one from our life. My husband did it. Itís a good tip)

Anyway, DU must have some good tips for me. Thanks🤗

37 replies, 1378 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 37 replies Author Time Post
Reply Does anybody have a good tip for me... (Original post)
LakeArenal Jun 2018 OP
benld74 Jun 2018 #1
Heartstrings Jun 2018 #2
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #3
Sanity Claws Jun 2018 #4
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #5
csziggy Jun 2018 #13
Major Nikon Jun 2018 #6
lastlib Jun 2018 #24
Civic Justice Jun 2018 #7
Generic Brad Jun 2018 #8
MissMillie Jun 2018 #9
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #10
N_E_1 for Tennis Jun 2018 #34
Ohiogal Jun 2018 #11
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #12
LuckyCharms Jun 2018 #14
Xolodno Jun 2018 #15
gibraltar72 Jun 2018 #16
Wounded Bear Jun 2018 #17
consider_this Jun 2018 #18
justhanginon Jun 2018 #19
backtoblue Jun 2018 #20
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #25
backtoblue Jun 2018 #30
Solly Mack Jun 2018 #21
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #27
Solly Mack Jun 2018 #37
Mopar151 Jun 2018 #22
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #28
lastlib Jun 2018 #23
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #31
lastlib Jun 2018 #33
yellowdogintexas Jun 2018 #26
Doodley Jun 2018 #29
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #32
N_E_1 for Tennis Jun 2018 #35
LakeArenal Jun 2018 #36

Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:38 PM

1. Don't spit into the wind

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to benld74 (Reply #1)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:41 PM

2. Don't mess around with Jim.....

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to benld74 (Reply #1)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:41 PM

3. Or release the ashes ...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to benld74 (Reply #1)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:42 PM

4. Don't tug on Superman's cape

But I think he is good-natured and wouldn't react badly. But Batman ... now that is one dude whose cape you shouldn't tug.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:46 PM

5. My husband just suggested...

Donít bleed on the white carpet.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Reply #5)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 10:07 PM

13. Or in your mother's Cadillac

This is from a family story - my little sister cut her foot open on a piece of glass. Mom wrapped it up then put a bread bag around that foot before she'd let my sister into the car to take her to the doctor.

Mom's effort at keeping that car clean paid off. When they upgraded to a newer car, the interior was immaculate and the exterior was in really good condition - even after ten years of family trips with four kids.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:48 PM

6. Don't pee on an electric fence

Don't sandpaper a lion's ass.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Major Nikon (Reply #6)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 06:44 AM

24. (my brother did that...)

peed on a n electric fence when he was about fourteen (certainly old enough and smart enough to know better. He thought it was off--he was, um, shocked! to find out it wasn't!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:53 PM

7. Don't be silent when its time to speak

 

Be prepared, be determined and be of courage to express ones truths. but know first what is truth

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:57 PM

8. Don't perform a do-it-yourself vasectomy


If you need one, allow someone who is trained to have the honors.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 08:58 PM

9. Don't fry bacon in the nude

And one "do"

Do find something to smile about every day

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MissMillie (Reply #9)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 09:08 PM

10. Thanks Miss M. You made me smile. 😁

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MissMillie (Reply #9)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 11:32 AM

34. My wife's doctor told her this...

Getting old is like frying bacon naked.
You know itís going to hurt, you just donít know where.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 09:37 PM

11. Don't stick your hand in the leaf mulcher while it's still running.

My husband did this a few years ago and cut off his finger tip. (And a great doctor reattached it)

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Ohiogal (Reply #11)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 09:46 PM

12. That makes it an extra good "tip" !

Pun intended. ☝🏻 😉

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 10:11 PM

14. When on vacation, post on facebook that you are away from home.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 10:19 PM

15. Don't step in Bear Shit.

Aside from that....

1. Travel as much as you can.

2. Owning a home gives you financial "stability", but weigh that against how much you want to explore, willing to "will" down if any, what you will sacrifice for staying in one place.

3. Try food you wouldn't get at home.

4. Experience the local museums.

5. Go Hiking...a lot.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 10:38 PM

16. Don't pee into the wind.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 10:46 PM

17. Don't rollerskate in a buffalo herd...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sat Jun 23, 2018, 10:59 PM

18. watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 01:53 AM

19. Don't eat the yellow snow.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 01:57 AM

20. Do not EVER

Put a sanitary napkin on upside down.....

Unless you want a free waxing...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to backtoblue (Reply #20)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:25 AM

25. Ouch!!!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Reply #25)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:47 AM

30. Indeed

Some things are learned the hard way....

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 02:27 AM

21. Don't get between a dachshund and his divine right to all the toys.


Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Solly Mack (Reply #21)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:33 AM

27. Hi Solly. Our daschie was named Ginger

She lived 18 years. Lots of doggie rights there!! 😁

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Reply #27)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 12:47 PM

37. Oh, yeah. You served Ginger well.



Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 04:44 AM

22. The classic.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Mopar151 (Reply #22)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:34 AM

28. Good one!!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 06:40 AM

23. Measure it with a micrometer,,,,

Last edited Sun Jun 24, 2018, 07:49 PM - Edit history (1)

Mark it with chalk, Cut it with a brick. (advice for carpenters)

You're welcome.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to lastlib (Reply #23)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:54 AM

31. This reminded of a joke....

Little Billyís mom was busy and Billy was under foot so she said: Billy go outside. Go watch the builders across the street, maybe you can learn something.

So Billy goes out. Stays out a long time.
When he comes home, his mom says:
So Billy, what did you learn out there.

Without hesitation Billy responds:
Well, I learned that you cut the damn board. When you hang the s-o-b the g-damned shit doesnít fit. So you take the m-effer down shave off a c-hair and put the c-sucker back up.

Billyís mom was shocked. She said: Go to your room and think about just what you will say to your father when he gets home.

Billyís dad returns. Says: Your mother said I should hear what you learned today...

Billy repeats: board ... sob... fit... m-effer
....c-sucker.... etc.

Dad says: Thatís awful go out in the backyard and fetch me a switch.

Billy looks him right in the eye and says:

FYou, that an electricians job.

The End

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Reply #31)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:59 AM

33. LOL!!

-- --

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:28 AM

26. Dont Tutch The But!

Oldtimer DU reference here

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:42 AM

29. Don't vote for Trump.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Doodley (Reply #29)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 10:56 AM

32. That's not just a tip....

Itís a public service announcement.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 11:36 AM

35. Don't smell your finger after you stick it in your bellybutton.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to N_E_1 for Tennis (Reply #35)

Sun Jun 24, 2018, 11:47 AM

36. Ummmm. Where has your belly button been?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread