GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I am livid

[Takket]

So my step-daughter, great kid, has been having a real tough time. She lives in Arizona (I'm in Michigan with her mom, her dad and step-mom are also in AZ, moved there with her years ago).

She's moved like 7 times in the last year. Was married young to an abusive guy, got divorced, dated another guy who she really liked but had to move out because literally all he EVER wanted to do was play video games, met a new guy that is VERY nice and has a kid from another relationship. Moved in, with her boyfriend, with a guy that was abusive so they had to leave, boyfriend's grandmother offered them a room... she turned out to be an angry drunk and announced she was moving to Ohio right after they moved in........ FINALLY offered a room in a nice house with her boyfriends brother. The brother has a fiancee and kid. The work out rent between the two brothers, arrange a move in date.......... right before moving in the brother announces his fiancee wanted the rent right now for July (this was on July 23rd) PLUS full rent again on August first. Um, that's not how prorated rent works!!!!!!!! Mind you nothing is in writing.

So I help my daughter out paying HALF the rent that the brothers agree too (that's still a rip off when there are only 8 days left in July)

They move in, i tell my daughter i hope she finally has a quiet place to sleep and some stability.

Yesterday the fiancee announces she wants them OUT by the end of September. My daughter has NO IDEA why, she has done nothing. They haven't even unboxed their belongings yet. The fiancee is beating the brother and the brother is in tears but won't stand up to the fiancee because he is convinced he will "never be able to do better than her" (her words). So the brother is being abused and now my daughter has no place to go.

Then today she tells me they had just grocery shopped and the fiancee THREW ALL THE FOOD THEY BOUGHT THAT WAS IN THE FRIDGE IN THE TRASH. No warning, no chance to move it, all that food in the trash. My daughter and her boyfriend both have to fight for every penny they have. My wife and I send them money when we can but my wife is disabled and we are a single income home. Even though I make good money it is almost impossible to get ahead single income these days.

I'm almost tempted to just tell my daughter to just stay there. There is no rental agreement on paper. What can they realistically do? The cops aren't going to come and throw them out, right??? But the fiancee is abusive and I don't want my daughter anywhere near that. The fiancee belongs in PRISON. She should be there for assaulting the brother and throwing the food away is basically theft. I'm sure she is probably abusing her own child too.

My step-daughter's father is an option for my daughter but not her boyfriend, and her relationship with her step-mother is poor because the step-mother is a Jehovah's Witness and my daughter was shunned by the community for leaving the religion.

I am just SO FRUSTRATED by how many people in my step-daughter's life are liars, abusers and just in-general awful human beings. She can't seem to find anyone there that will simply just KEEP THEIR WORD.

I wish I could convince her to move back to Michigan but she really likes her current boyfriend and she has a cat...........

I'm venting, wish there was more i could do. So i came here to blow off steam. Cathartic to have you people to talk to.

[dhol82]

1. Tell her to dump the boyfriend, take the cat and move to Michigan

Easy, peasy.
She needs a new start with caring people.

[Takket]

2. she's coming here for a week to visit in October. I'm going to seriously make the case.

[dhol82]

4. Good for you.

Hope she listens.

[badhair77]

5. That might be the opportunity you need to get her to come home.

Good luck.

[regnaD kciN]

7. Why...?

I'll admit it's a bit hard to follow all the events in the OP, but I see no indication her boyfriend is part of the problem.

[dhol82]

8. Doesn't seem like part of the solution either.

[badhair77]

3. I will gladly listen

But I have no advice. I hope your step-daughter and her boyfriend can get some decent people in her life. This is awful for her and understandably stressful for you and your wife. And it doesn’t help that you’re both so far away. Like I said, I’m not much help other than to listen and send you good vibes.

[spicysista]

6. You guys have each other....that's a lot.

It's clear how much you care for your family. She must be very special. That's a blessing that not all are afforded. Continue to love and be an ear for her. It may be time for her to figure "things" out for herself.
Since I can't offer you anything else, hopefully these will make you smile...........




?1384968217



Stay strong, Takket.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

9. When my daughter moved out..

...I told her you're always welcome and I love to have you move back in but I hope you never have to.

[TexasBushwhacker]

10. How old is she?

When I graduated from college, my boyfriend that I had dated of and on for 3 years wanted me to move in with him. I said no because I really wanted to live on my own and support myself. I didn't want to go from being supported by my parents to being supported by him, even if I helped pay the bills. We ended up breaking up over it, but I never regretted my decision. I think it's important to be able to live on your own and support yourself, whether you're male or female. I've seen far too many couples start living together too soon just to save on rent.

[Takket]

11. she's 23

and she didn't go to college, because Jehovah's Witnesses frown on the parishioners going to college, especially women. so she didn't do it and now she simply doesn't have the time or money to be able to.

[TexasBushwhacker]

12. Well, she's going to have to figure out a way to support herself

because constantly being dependent on splitting expenses with boyfriends isn't working out to well for her.

Would she be interested in any kind of medical occupation that just requires a 2 year degree? I have a friend who worked her way through medical assistant school and now she works in a doctor's office. X-ray techs, ultrasound techs etc are 2 year programs too and they usually have them at community colleges, so they are cheap.

[Takket]

13. very interested........

she actually took a medical coding course but it fell apart with her first divorce. good news is i just found out she's working with her employer to work at a second bank branch to work 40 hours a week. that will make a big difference.