I've failed a lot in my life.

[Tobin S.]

It’s to the point where I’ve sometimes thought of myself as a failure. One thing about that is that if you’ve failed a lot it means that you’ve tried a lot, too. That experience comes in handy at times. But it’s sore consolation for when you’re looking back and you see a lot of mistakes.

My wife, one of her cousins, and I were talking today. Her cousin’s grandma is currently in hospice care. One of our elderly friends passed away recently also. My wife was talking about that and spoke of how our friend wanted to see me when she was nearing the end. Of course, I honored that request. My wife said that our friend loved me. Her cousin said that her brother loved me as well and that I just seem to have that effect on people. My wife has sometimes told me that everybody loves me.

Well, maybe I’m not such a failure after all. It sounds to me like I could be a great success, at least where it matters most. It’s weird how life sometimes seems to give you exactly what you need when you need it. Peace and love ❤️ to you all.

[guillaumeb]

1. Recommended.

Failure can be temporary. More important is learning from the mistakes.

[Tobin S.]

4. Thank you. Namaste.

🙏

[IADEMO2004]

2. Good day to be you.

[Tobin S.]

5. Yes, indeed. Namaste.

🙏

[Worried senior]

3. I think you'll find

you have never been a failure.

[Tobin S.]

6. That's very nice of you to say. Namaste.

🙏

[Harker]

7. And love to you.

You're very clearly a success where it matters.

[Tobin S.]

9. Thank you. Namaste.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

8. You haven't failed until you stop trying

[Tobin S.]

10. Maybe so. Namaste.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

12. "Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't."

By Richard Bach

[Iggo]

20. "Getting old is winning." -- Iggo

[KWR65]

11. No one ever died wishing their boss loved them more and that they worked more hours.

[Tobin S.]

13. Your point?

Last edited Fri Sep 28, 2018, 12:41 PM - Edit history (1)

I don't have to work more hours to get some love from the boss. But I'm currently fortunate in that regard.

I once had a boss who seemed impossible to love. He just wasn't likeable at all. Went out of his way to be mean. You might run across people like that in other areas of your life as well. You just have to let it go when it comes to that. There is a reason why they are like that, and if we knew it we would probably feel more compassion for them.

Namaste.

[grantcart]

14. The best mirror to see ourselves is not pane on the wall

But the glimmer in the eyes of our friends and loved ones when they look at us and the words of welcome they save for us.

Namaste

[Tobin S.]

15. Amen. Namaste.

[shenmue]

16. Hug

[Tobin S.]

17. Namaste.

[wendyb-NC]

18. Thank you.

Well said. May peace and light be with you.

[Iggo]

19. Iffen ya keep gettin' up, ya ain't failin'.

[catrose]

21. The other night I was driving home, listening to the classical station

And a famous pianist announced that he was a proud member of the Loser's Club. He proceeded to list all the competitions he'd lost, going back to when he was 12, and the insults he'd garnered, including a judge telling him he hadn't the talent or technique to be a professional musician. Eventually, he did win a competition--the Tschaikovsky, I think--and enjoys a classical music career. He said that losers have persisted, that they listen to their inner voices rather than take the external voices as gospel, that, whether they ever win, they have put in so much effort and put their hearts out in the open when it would be easier to hide. He was very proud to be a loser, and I'll always think of that when 45 goes on about losers.

So it almost seems like an insult, Tobin, to say that you're no loser. I do think you won in ways that confound the rest of the world.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

22. Many years ago two men spoke at a memorial service

The first to speak was a nationally known speaker sought far and wide for his brilliance, diction and his ability to hold the attention and favor of listeners across the country. He spoke for two hours uttering 13,000 words or so. His audience listened in rapt silence for entire time. He was quite proud of his efforts.

The second man spoke for a mere two minutes and, when finished, left the dias and assumed his words fell flat and failed poorly in comparison to those of the keynote speaker who preceded him. The first speaker wrote to the second saying, in part, "I should be glad, if I could flatter myself that I came as near to the central idea of the occasion, in two hours, as you did in two minutes." The second speaker replied, in part, "Your kind note of to-day is received. In our respective parts yesterday, you could not have been excused to make a short address, nor I a long one. I am pleased to know that, in your judgment, the little I did say was not entirely a failure."

The first speaker, Edward Everett, was a former Secretary of State, Senator, Governor and Ambassador. The second speaker is the one remembered and studied to this day for giving the two minute Gettysburg Address.

Sometimes we are least impressed by our own efforts.

[LuckyCharms]

23. It is better to fail at every single thing you do

in life, then to never have tried. The simple act of trying is success in itself.

[OriginalGeek]

24. Hell Tobin

I've never even met you and I love you. I think you do have that effect on people. One of my favorite things I've ever seen on DU is that picture of you and your wife at that small town breakfast cafe/diner place. I wished my wife and I could have been eating pancakes with you guys.

[Tobin S.]

25. Thanks, OG.

Someone once told me something when I felt invisible in the world. She said that sometimes you never know who is paying attention to you, learning from you, and taking some wisdom from you.

I used to write little stories for DU here in the lounge. They were often about the people I've met in the course of my work as a trucker. They were just ordinary people like me. My friend read a few of these stories and told me that this is evidence of what she was talking about. You never know who is looking on, what they are thinking, and how memorable you are. You have showed me that again.

[Anon-C]

26. You are loved, Tobin!

[redwitch]

27. You are most definitely not a failure in my book!

One of my all time favorite DUers. You never give up, are consistently kind and thoughtful. Winner!

[delisen]

28. You are describing a person who is a success.

What an amazing people we can become if we measure success based upon the ability to love and care for each other.

Thanks for the affirmation.

[DFW]

29. 26 years ago, I was invited to the home of a friend dying of cancer

She was one of our (my wife and me) best friends. She was diagnosed with cancer at 32, and died at age 36. When she knew there was no hope, she invited her closest friends, one by one, to her parents' apartment (where she spent her last days) for a good-bye visit. She was in no pain, and we chatted about things that were, since for her there was nothing to come. She told me that in a vivid dream, her grandmother had told her she would pick her up when the time came. She was an atheist, but firmly believed this. She was intelligent, extremely attractive, and extremely unlucky.

But I reminded her that for all her misfortune (which she had finally come to accept), she was someone who was adored and admired by all that knew her, and that was something no one could ever take from her. I reminded her that there were plenty of rich people who lived to be 70 or 80, and spent more than half of their lives unhappy with their interpersonal relationships, worried sick about having to be mistrusting of everyone. This was something she never had to suffer, and agreed that a longer life would not have been worth living under those circumstances. Her health did fail her, but her spirit did not. We still display photos of her in our house. I still remember her voice, calling us up for a chat just for the hell of it, even 30 years later. There is more than one kind of wealth (and success) than just the kind represented on a bank statement.

[jcsg]

30. this was great to read

I've failed a lot too. But I have loved, and been loved. By a lot of animals and a few people. And Jesus And God, the whole time, though it took me a while to figure it out.