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Sun Jun 16, 2019, 04:41 PM

I was ENFJ 20 years ago. Now, I'm ENTJ. Thinking...hmmm. Discuss.

Does middle age bring on the lack of interest in feelings and emotions, and work as a funnel to get you to execute things with logic and reason? I think I am far more driven to get to the right place the right way than to try to bring others along with me or get them to like me. That's for damn sure.

My intuition is almost never wrong, especially about people. I can imagine an event with any number of people and pretty much see which variables will directly impact the people involved and their personal choices and reactions. I can usually guide people toward a better outcome, as well.

I think the middle aged brain says, "Hey! I don't have all day, here!"

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Reply I was ENFJ 20 years ago. Now, I'm ENTJ. Thinking...hmmm. Discuss. (Original post)
lindysalsagal Jun 2019 OP
ProudLib72 Jun 2019 #1
Funtatlaguy Jun 2019 #2
lindysalsagal Jun 2019 #3
ProudLib72 Jun 2019 #4
lindysalsagal Jun 2019 #5
murielm99 Jun 2019 #6
lindysalsagal Jun 2019 #8
murielm99 Jun 2019 #11
KY_EnviroGuy Jun 2019 #7
lindysalsagal Jun 2019 #9
KY_EnviroGuy Jun 2019 #10
smirkymonkey Jun 2019 #12
KY_EnviroGuy Jun 2019 #13
smirkymonkey Jun 2019 #14
KY_EnviroGuy Jun 2019 #15
smirkymonkey Jun 2019 #16
DFW Jun 2019 #17
lindysalsagal Jun 2019 #18
DFW Jun 2019 #19

Response to lindysalsagal (Original post)


Response to ProudLib72 (Reply #1)

Sun Jun 16, 2019, 06:29 PM

2. I'm not so sure about that.

Long ago, I used it with some of my salespeople and I thought it was amazingly accurate.

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Response to ProudLib72 (Reply #1)

Sun Jun 16, 2019, 06:55 PM

3. Using it for employment is hooey: Just because someone has an inclination doesn't mean they can't fu

function outside those parameters for employment.

But I have to admit that their summary fits me to a tee.

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Response to lindysalsagal (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 16, 2019, 10:20 PM

4. My original post was snarky. Sorry. I posted about how people were giving their Myers-Briggs on

social media, and the majority of people who responded said it was an outdated test and didn't show much.

Personally, I think it's interesting. I'm not going to base my life on it, but I do believe it can make you think about yourself. In your case, you are thinking about how you have changed over time.

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Response to ProudLib72 (Reply #4)

Sun Jun 16, 2019, 10:25 PM

5. I agreed with you. People are using it for all the wrong reasons.

I heard a story that some company went and fired every employee that got a specific profile opposite from the ceo. Idiot.

In my understanding, a project manager might use it to assign different jobs, like, public relations, accounting, communications, outreach, evaluation, stuff like that. It tells you who makes a good MC at the retirement dinner, but can't keep track of the checks...

It's not supposed to be a pass/fail thing, and some people use it as such. So, you're right.

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Response to lindysalsagal (Original post)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 02:18 AM

6. I am supposed to be

INTJ. I am told it is a rare personality type. The tests always come up that way for me.

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Response to murielm99 (Reply #6)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 05:44 AM

8. So, basically, you're the shy version of me. We'd get along great!!!

I could make introductions and ask for directions!! Lol!

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Response to lindysalsagal (Reply #8)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 01:04 PM

11. I am not shy at all.

Anything but. My introversion shows up in that I enjoy solitude, would rather work alone. I need my space.

It shows up in the type of work I enjoy most.

I do get out with people and that is healthy for me. Working directly with people and giving back to the community is also healthy for me.

Introversion is not necessarily what people think it is. Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton may be introverts, because they are policy wonks. They have a plan for everything. However, they know that they have to be out and about to give their plans a chance to be put into effect.

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Response to lindysalsagal (Original post)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 05:17 AM

7. INFP here - almost polar opposite to you.

Life sometimes seems just a series of acts we force ourselves to stage to satisfy the point in life where we are at the time.

I think middle age bring somewhat of a state of desperation when we realize our lives are not infinite, time is running out, and so we begin to push the process of life-building harder. That may include disregarding the feeling and needs of others in our path, but that can also backfire if they revolt, and we must always be conscious of the emotional effects of our actions. It seems few people are these days, which adds up to a slow degradation of our nation's sanity and morals.

Personally, I lost a big gap in my life from alcoholism and had a lot of catching up to do after the age of 43. I damn near killed myself running hard for a couple of corporations, and to the point where my health deteriorated and caught up with me.

Looking back, I allowed crass and highly-ambitious managers to push me way too hard and at a salary much too low. I doubt if any of them have a single regret. I regret allowing it to happen. Such is the life of an introvert and highly-sensitive person.

Just remember when that which your intuition tells you comes true, the result may be also have been driven by the fear of others of losing their jobs, positions or advancements. We're all pretty good at faking a happy face when our incomes depends on it.

I'm a firm believer in being most true to my natural, genetic nature and personality type. However, I also accept that I will need to pull myself temporarily away from that natural state to survive and to build a home and family - if that's what I want. But, there can be serious mental problems as a result such as depression and anger issues.

Best of luck and thanks for sharing!......

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Response to KY_EnviroGuy (Reply #7)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 05:53 AM

9. Great perspective, KYEG: Luckily, I'm not in a competitive career, so, no back-stabbing needed.

I've had to hold my ground with others who saw my purpose as largely ass-kissing and ass-covering. But those were not the people my career was supposed to serve. It was a reversal of the point, and I held my ground and I've got lots of knives in my back to show for it.

But I know the true, publicly stated clientele got my best, and it was always for their betterment that I got up and faced the negative backlash coming from those who forgot the true purposes.

I was able to find win-win solutions to most of the larger issues that arose. Sometimes, the judgement aspect of this paradigm can help make those happen. But that requires that someone keeps good intentions in their heart.

It sounds like you were chasing profits, and that corrupts all involved. Sorry to hear that. It sounds like you've worked hard to put your pieces back together. Good for you. Another lesson of middle age is the acceptance that we have to take care of ourselves; Others can't be counted on for that.

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Response to lindysalsagal (Reply #9)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 06:39 AM

10. Chasing profits only for the man with lots of naivety in the country boy.

"That requires that someone keeps good intentions in their heart". Amen.

I had clashes with management numerous times because I always tried to do what's best for the customer - an attitude I inherited from the culture of my youth. Never could outgrow standing up for moral values, LOL. Never got me fired, but instead called out a few times.

Like you, I was a problem solver (me in engineering field service) but I always wanted the solutions to be long-lasting and achieved using sound technical practices. Management always wanted everything done fast and on the cheap. So, we somehow compromised. I think what saved me was a degree of mutual respect that existed within that group.

Although I was self-employed for much of my working days, later in life I realized I really didn't have quite enough hard-ass in me for the task. No one explained that to me at the beginning. Most of what I heard was "you can do anything if you really try".

Life is indeed one learning experience after another and the biggest of all is that we're not invincible. A second one is that it's wise to periodically take a break and do a thorough, honest personal inventory (lesson learned in my 40s in addiction recovery) but that's something rarely done these days, at least not voluntarily.

Thanks again!.......

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Response to KY_EnviroGuy (Reply #7)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 07:34 PM

12. I'm also an INFP.

I think it describes me pretty well, but sometimes the profile can be a little off.

It's funny, if I had to guess what type you were just from reading your posts, I probably would have had you pegged as an INFP. Not everyone is as obvious, but you just seem to be a classic INFP.

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #12)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 09:12 PM

13. Thanks, I consider that a compliment. They say we're the "mediators"...

and the thinkers, and that describes me well. Doesn't mean I'm smarter, I just think things out very thoroughly and pay great attention to detail. That trait can be an asset or a burden, LOL. Just to share a few things......

Avoiding conflict and controversy has always been my way, although I've survived quite a few people that seem to thrive on it and often initiate it. I get overloaded with that crap very quickly. Our way seems to be one of quiet mediation and peace keeping.

As I've aged, I've become more sensitive and prone to isolate more, but it feels like our current society is less compatible with our personality type compared to some other nations. Some days, I wish I owned that little shack in the central Tennessee mountains that my hermit great uncle lived in most of his life, where he was in poverty but always very happy. We do need our place of escape! Looking back, I can now see that introversion was very common on my dad's side. They were all quiet, kind, humble and unselfish people.

The Myers-Briggs 16 personalities system has been a great asset toward understanding and accepting myself, and helped tremendously with my later-life depression. I now know I'm simply a part of a normal genetic sub-set of humanity (just like red heads, very short people, geniuses and psychopaths).

I also believe the experts stress that there are mixed and cross-over types, so that personalities are not defined with any absolutes. It's just a convenient guide along the path of understanding.

SM, thanks for sharing and reading my rant. I've been wanting to open up about discovering the foundations for many patterns and events in my life for quite a while.

KY............

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Response to KY_EnviroGuy (Reply #13)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 09:59 PM

14. Thanks for your thoughtful post KY_EnviroGuy.

I agree with everything you said. We are the peacekeepers and the mediators, but we also run from conflict in personal situations, which is totally me. I have a hard time with confrontation, which is not always good because it prevents me from being honest in the name of sparing people's feelings. I struggle to find a way to be truthful and kind at the same time.

I am also highly sensitive and would often rather retreat to the peace and quiet of my apartment than get out into the world. However, I enjoy the day to day interaction of mingling with people in my city neighborhood, but I think it's because I don't have to get to close. I am most comfortable with people that I have know for a long time and who I can really be myself with. I feel very insecure around people I don't know well, especially if they are extroverted. I can't stand being around loud, obnoxious people.

We actually use the MBTI a lot in my company, except they call it "Type Coach" and I think it's very useful. It pretty much describes most people's personalities and work styles to a tee. It shouldn't pidgeonhole people, but it's helpful in understanding where people are coming from.

Thanks again for your post KY! Good to hear from you!

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #14)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 10:41 PM

15. Yes, if we use it to be more compassionate and understanding with one another.

That would be the sign of an intelligent company and it would be to their advantage if used properly. It would have to be designed smart enough however, to catch those who might try to game the system.

I was not aware that companies are actually using it in HR....

Going only with my experience (because I haven't yet interfaced with other introverts for debate), I think introverts tend to pour all our emotional energy toward a very small number of people and allow very powerful dependencies. That make us vulnerable to being hurt or extremely sad, and it applies to me. There's few social things I enjoy more than sitting at a kitchen table with coffee with a good friend and chatting on a highly personal level.

In contrast, most extroverts are spread thin and maintain a much larger base of relationships that are much weaker. However, most I've known are not able to open up and talk on an emotional level about their issues.

That's one of several things I've learned in my amateur study of human nature, evolution and personality, mostly by looking at what science says and then looking my my life experiences to validate those concepts. So far, so good!

It's a fun journey I started way too late in life!......

Have a good, serene week!......

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Response to KY_EnviroGuy (Reply #15)

Mon Jun 17, 2019, 11:18 PM

16. You too, KY!

Nice chatting with you! I know what you mean about starting the journey too late in life.

Have a great week!

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Response to lindysalsagal (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 02:04 AM

17. Someone should explain for us peons and furriners what all those abbreviations mean

I can hazard a few guesses:

ENTJ: Electro-Neuro Technicians of Jersey
ENFJ: England-Nigeria Federation of Jousters
INFP: India-Norway Foundation of Proctologists
INTJ: International Nerds Teaching Japanese

I take it I'm nowhere close, right?

OK, I don't mean to mock anyone, but trying to make heads or tails of this thread is impossible when you have no I.D.E.A. what all those abbreviations mean. Anyone willing to help out the ignorant here?

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Response to lindysalsagal (Reply #18)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 07:20 AM

19. That does clear things up considerably!

Thanks!

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