Marie Curie walks into a bar...

[MrScorpio]

Link to tweet

M. Curie walks into a bar to celebrate discovering radium.

Bartender tells her that he can’t take her wine order because he doesn’t serve alcohol to pregnant women.

Curie says, “What makes you think I’m pregnant?”

Bartender tells her, “We can all see it, lady, you’re glowing.”

[unblock]

1. Schrdinger's cat walks into a bar

... or maybe he doesn't.

[Karadeniz]

2. Thank you!❤

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car. Heisenberg is driving.

A cop pulls them over and asks Heisenberg, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks he is behaving suspiciously and orders him to open the trunk. Upon looking in the trunk the cop says, "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, asshole!" says Schrödinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

4. There once was a fellow named Fisk,

Whose fencing was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action
The Fitzgerald contraction
Reduced his rapier to a disc.

[House of Roberts]

5. Who glows?

Just say 'Bada Book, Bada Boom'.

[aka-chmeee]

6. Great Response!

But...I still don't like those stupid commercials or that irritating actor.