How in the world do you respond to "I don't have any feelings for you but I wish I did"??

[charlie and algernon]

My (supposed) girlfriend of four months dropped that bomb last night, ending whatever it was that we had.

I've spent the last 24 hours going between sadness, anger, depression, trying to make it better by finding signals I may have missed.

*sigh*

Finding solace in the pulsing power of Coldplay.

&feature=related

[PoliticAverse]

1. Almost everyone has been dumped at some point - it's especially tough when it's a surprise to you.

Ultimately, you can't make someone be in love with you.

The faster you get through the 7-stages of grief the better.

Best wishes for your learning and moving on...

[Chan790]

2. In the bed of someone else.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

[MiddleFingerMom]

12. When I married... I married for LIFE!!! So when my wife, from out of "nowhere" announced...

.
.
.
... announced that she was leaving and wanted a divorce, I was devastated.
.
.
.
I went through what I call "my soggy year". I went to work, then straight to the bar
and stayed 'til closing. Went home and showered and slept. Went to work, then straight
to the bar and stayed 'til closing. Went home and showered and slept. Went to work,
then straight to the bar and stayed 'til closing. Went home and showered and slept.
.
For a full year.
.
I didn't speak to or with anyone unnecessarily for that year (I talked to my bartender
just enough to keep drinks coming).
.
.
.
At the end of that year, a Korean waitress broke down my walls and took me home and
to bed.
.
.
.
She reminded me of what life was all about.
.
.
.
My "soggy year" was over and I was alive again.
.
.
.

[charlie and algernon]

17. heh, I went right to the bar after dropping her off

Had a couple TALL rum and cokes. Looking back, I must've looked like quite a sight to the bartender. Here he's thinking about closing and I come in on the verge of tears just staring off into space, lol! He must've sensed how bad my night was because the second rum and coke was incredibly strong (and FREE!). So I guess it's nice to know that you can still go to a bar when you're down on your luck and the bartender takes care of you.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

3. The one thing I have learned in my 62 years onn this earrth

is that I don't care where you are at, it will change. It may get better, it may get worse but it will change. Losing a lover is the least of your concerns. There are a whole bunch of people out there looking for lovsrs.

[charlie and algernon]

19. What's funny is that she came along right after the previous one ended

Of course there was a few months between us becoming friends and when we actually started dating, but yeah, it was nice to join her and her group of friends almost immediately after the last girl broke it off. I'm not really all that worried about finding what's next. If anything, I'll save a boatload of money going single for awhile. The hurt came from thinking this one had real potential and suddenly finding out I was wrong.

[Major Nikon]

21. Better to find out now than 15 years from now

Lots of people enter into relationships thinking something will develop that never does, and spend many years coming to that realization. If there is a bright side to this, you can be thankful that at least you found out early. Being depressed over this is a perfectly natural reaction. What gets you through is the knowledge that most everyone goes through it at one time or another and the knowledge that tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities.

[Marie Marie]

4. So sorry that you are going through this.

I'm sure this hurts like hell if you have developed feelings for her. I can only wish for someone better for you around the next corner. In a karmic universe, this happened precisely so that you will be open and available when that someone better comes along. Till then,

[harmonicon]

5. At least you found out after only four months.

It's shit, I know. I'm sorry.

[charlie and algernon]

8. Yeah, though part of me wishes she had said something a hell of a lot sooner

We spent a hell of a lot time together these last 4 months and I never would've gotten so invested had I known what her true feelings, or lack thereof, were.

[harmonicon]

28. Yes, of course, and time isn't always a great metric.

By far, the most important relationship I ever had was less than a year and a half. There are women I spent a number of years longer with who will never be that important. When that woman left me - two years ago - it was hard. I mean, it was really hard. I was in therapy for a long time, and I was on anti-depressants for a year. I honestly think I'm more-or-less ok now though. I'm sure this doesn't help, but people here know what it's like, and we know it sucks.

[2Design]

6. Don't pay attention to her words - she is just not that into you

you will never be able to make sense of her words or actions

the only part you need to do now, mourn the death of a relationship and move forward and find someone who thinks you are the greatest person and loves you for everything you have to offer

Good luck

[Populist_Prole]

7. Lame sounding line right up there with "It's not you, it's me"

I can't honestly say that 'Fix You' tune would give me any solace if that were to happen to me now. No more than a devil's head nightlight would help a fearful child fall asleep.

Glad you can laugh a little now though.

Just be glad you weren't led on for years like I was.

[HopeHoops]

9. "Oh yeah? Well I faked all of my orgasms too!"

- Steve Martin in "All of Me".

I had a stream of girlfriends who cheated on me, admitted it, and moved on. I met my wife in '84 and we're still together. It always seems like the end of the world and you'll never find the right person, but give it time. One of my neighbors had his wife leave him. A few years later, he was in Florida and had a chance encounter with a woman. They've been married for a long time now and are obviously happy together. You never know when or where it will happen. Just keep an open mind, eyes, and ears - and hang in there.

[turtlerescue1]

10. It was the best she could come up with,

with just that much insight, its good you only lost four months in time.

Please don't spend much time in this loss. Some of us marry a few times before we figure out that that ONE LOVE does exist. That ONE LOVE also means even when death interferes with a perfectly decent love, it fulfilled every corner within you, and alone is easy to handle. The BEST is out there, don't settle for less.

[mentalsolstice]

11. So sorry this happened to you.

I dated a guy who would say this same thing to me, and it was so hurtful. However, he'd always come slithering back a week later. This behavior continued for 3 years, until the military put an end to it by transferring him across the country, thankfully back before the internet. Don't let her drag you along like this. Those are 3 years I'll never get back.

On a high note, I later met a gem, and we've been together for 22 years, only marrige for both of us. OTOH, the former POS boyfriend is now on his 4th marriage. Karma, it works sometimes.

[cbdo2007]

13. Say, "Geez, that sucks, but I'll find somebody else. No worries." Then give her a fist bump...

and walk out the door.

When you find "the one" you'll know and it must not have been her. Just do a quick self-assessment to make sure you're the best person you can be and go back out there and find her!

[hedgehog]

14. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince (or princess, as the case may be!)

Be nice to yourself today, you've had a hard shock!

[benld74]

15. Just remember THIS friend,,,

http://www.roflposters.com/Browse.aspx?id=131029

[AngryAmish]

16. Women are like buses, there is always another one that comes along.

Don't be that guy moping because you got dumped. Nobody likes that guy. More importantly nobody respects him.

[charlie and algernon]

18. I think it all depends how long you mope around

Saturday night through Sunday was my serious moping time. Now I think I'm getting into that acceptance stage in the grief process. It's helped that I've been able to rant and get it off my chest to my friends at work today. And of course this thread on DU has helped.

[Phentex]

20. At least she thinks you're a nice guy...

and there are worse ways to be let down. She found you interesting enough to go out with four months ago and maybe her feelings have recently changed. She gave you a line, yeah, but at least she didn't go cruel on you.

You sound like you are already on the mend so have fun!

[rug]

22. "I'm sorry to hear that, (wrong name)."

[stevenleser]

23. Yes, that is the perfect response.

[rug]

24. Why thank you. It's kind of you to say that, Fred.

[stevenleser]

25. LOL!

[charlie and algernon]

27. LOL, I'll have to remember that for the inevitable next time

[DFW]

26. Been there, had that.

Luckily, I was twenty, and figured that maybe somewhere out there in the wide world was a woman I would
adore who would stick with me for good. Sho' nuff, honey chile, she was out there. I had to cross an ocean
and learn a new language, but she is still with me, now 38 years later, so you can't tell me it wasn't worth
both the wait and the effort.

[In_The_Wind]

29. Wish her a good life & enjoy your new future.

She gave you a gift. You get to start the next phase of your life without years of baggage.

Go get 'em

[Baitball Blogger]

30. I'm guessing it's her way of saying you're a nice guy.

Some girls, especially young ones, like to go for the dangerous types. It's stupid and if they don't break the cycle, they end up in bad marriages. Other girls get smart and find people like you and will recognize your value.