family of rednecked peckerwoods moved into our backyard

[ohiosmith]

Last edited Tue Jun 19, 2012, 04:11 PM - Edit history (1)

[rug]

1. Tell them DU has a Gun forum.

[ohiosmith]

7. They want to know if DU has bullets for em too!

[GoneOffShore]

2. Oh ick.

Try putting a case of Bud and some cheetos in your neighbor's yard they'll go over there.

[ohiosmith]

10. Could work!

[madinmaryland]

3. HIDE YOUR TEDDY BEARS, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

[ohiosmith]

11. Done!

[femmocrat]

4. Wow, I thought those guys would never leave!

Thanks for taking them out of OUR neighborhood, ohiosmith!

[Ikonoklast]

5. If one of those things ends up crapping in my yard, you are going to hear about it.

That's what happens when you leave cases of Bud Light, a big pot of possum stew, and old 70's porno mags out in the open.


Except those don't look like they are Free Range, too well fed.

I'll bet they belong to someone.

Have the local animal control officer bring out some humane traps, maybe if you can catch them and get them to the shelter some poor soul will take pity on them and adopt them if their previous owner doesn't claim them.

[hifiguy]

13. Porta-potties with locking doors baited with squirrel stew

should do the trick.

[Denninmi]

6. Sorry, but if it were my yard, I would immediately call the exterminator.

Gack!!!!!!

[Baitball Blogger]

8. They look more red-bellied than red-headed.

It's a common mistake.

[Tom Ripley]

9. Watch out for that meth lab explosion

[hifiguy]

12. The Onion dealt with this years ago.

U.S. Intelligence Confirms: The Hillbillies Have the Bomb

For the first time since the end of the Cold War, the specter of nuclear armageddon looms over the world, as the Pentagon announced yesterday that a group of hillbillies in central Tennessee has constructed a fully operational 50-megaton nuclear device.

The hillbillies successfully completed their first test detonation Monday in the Tennessee desert. With this potential for destruction in the hands of people who have throughout history acted out violently for no better reason than family tradition, scientists in Helsinki, Finland, have moved the doomsday clock back up to one minute before midnight.

Pentagon officials were tipped off to the backwoods people's potential to invoke mass destruction last week when an I.R.S. agent returned from the Smoky Mountains claiming that a group of hillbillies had threatened to "nuke him up real good." The bomb's existence and operational status were later confirmed by a team of scientists who, after finding the weapon in a hay thresher, were run out of hillbilly territory by a family armed with a shotgun and three dogs named "Duke."

The scientists describe the bomb as a plutonium-lined copper kettle which could easily be imploded to critical mass by igniting the whiskey-drenched possum pelts hanging around its perimeter.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-intelligence-confirms-the-hillbillies-have-the,1116/