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Sat Jun 6, 2020, 09:42 PM

Pandemic Lockdown Thoughts (from my sister)

I hope they give us two weeks notice before sending us back out into the real world. I think we need the time to become ourselves again. And by "ourselves" I mean lose 10 pounds, cut our hair and get used to getting up before 10 a.m.

New monthly budget: Gas $0 Entertainment $0 Clothes $0 Groceries $2,799.

Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to stop COVID-19, but to stop eating.

Low maintenance chicks are having their moment right now. No nails to file and paint, roots to dye, eyelashes to re-mink, and thrilled
to be able to wear pajamas or sweats every day!

When this quarantine is over, let's not tell people.

I stepped on my scale this morning. It said: "Please practice social distancing. Only one person at a time on scale."

Not to brag, but I haven't been late to anything in more than 8 weeks.

I wanted zombies and anarchy. Instead I got working from home and toilet paper shortages.

Those car commercials where there's only one vehicle on the road - don't seem so unrealistic these days ...

They can open things up next week, but I'm staying in until July to see what happens to all of you first.

Appropriate analogy: "The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now" = "The parachute has slowed our rate of descent,
so we can take it off now".

People keep asking: "Is coronavirus REALLY all that serious?" Listen y'all, the churches and casinos are closed. When heaven and
hell agree on the same thing it's probably serious.

Never in a million years could I imagine going up to a bank teller wearing a mask and asking for money.

Home school Day 1: I'm trying to figure out how I can get this kid transferred out of my class.

Okay, the schools are closed. So do we drop the kids off at the teacher's house or what?

For the second part of this quarantine do we have to stay with the same family or will they relocate us? Asking for myself...

Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We wander around the house looking for food. We get told "No" if we get too close to
strangers and we get really excited about going for walks and car rides.

The spread of Covid-19 is based on 2 things: 1. How dense is the population. 2. How dense the population is.


The dumbest thing I've ever bought was a 2020 planner...

I'm in a long line at 7:45 am today at a grocery store that opens at 8 am for seniors only. A young man comes from the parking lot and tries to cut in the front of the line, but an old lady beats him back into the parking lot with her cane. He returns and tries cutting in again but an old man punches him, then kicks him and pushes him away. As he approaches the line for the 3rd time he yells, "If you people don't let me unlock the door, you'll never get in!"

Enjoy your day. You have nothing else to do.

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Reply Pandemic Lockdown Thoughts (from my sister) (Original post)
csziggy Jun 2020 OP
The Velveteen Ocelot Jun 2020 #1
PoindexterOglethorpe Jun 2020 #2
The Velveteen Ocelot Jun 2020 #4
Karadeniz Jun 2020 #3

Response to csziggy (Original post)

Sat Jun 6, 2020, 09:59 PM

1. The best:

Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We wander around the house looking for food. We get told "No" if we get too close to strangers and we get really excited about going for walks and car rides.

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Response to csziggy (Original post)

Sat Jun 6, 2020, 11:20 PM

2. How many people are you feeding?

Seriously, $2,799 a month? Oh, dear lord. That would feed most people for three or four months, minimum. What the fuck are you buying?

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Response to PoindexterOglethorpe (Reply #2)

Sat Jun 6, 2020, 11:41 PM

4. It's just humor. It's not real.

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Response to csziggy (Original post)

Sat Jun 6, 2020, 11:27 PM

3. I read this to my husband...tears streaming...swallowing words...HILARIOUS!!!❤

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