I just got out of the shower and I smell so good

[LuckyCharms]

that I'm worried I may try to seduce myself. I'm not gay, but I may have to make an "Old Spice Exception" because my hands are starting to wander. I just looked in the mirror and asked myself if it hurt when I fell from heaven.

Then I blushed, and I smiled at myself in the mirror. My teeth sparkled and went *bing*.

I held a Viagra up to the mirror, and as the guy in the mirror went to take the pill in his full, lush lips, I pulled the pill away and said "I'm sorry. I just can't ".

So now I'm sitting in the recliner, feeling shame and joy simultaneously.

I hope this all works out for the best.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. I don't see why you can't show yourself a little love.

[LuckyCharms]

3. Will respond fully in a few minutes...

I'm busy at the moment. Thank you for understanding.

[mr_lebowski]

4. I expect this to be a fantastic ending, given how in love you one are with each other right now (nt)

[LuckyCharms]

5. So far, I'm a very disappointing lover.

[nocoincidences]

2. Somewhere around 1970

I had an acid trip just like this, minus the Viagra.

[magicarpet]

6. Have you considered the idea of becoming a Benedictine Monk,...

... with vows of celibacy and all that ?

Then maybe you can learn to keep your hands to yourself,...

Oops I mean,.. keep your hands away from yourself.

A hobby like knitting or gardening ? Skip the erectile dysfunction candy,.. that might be a good start.

[MLAA]

7. You are simply irresistible

[flamin lib]

8. Fun fact, sorta'.

In the '90s I had a tangential connection to a company called Varilite, the provider of lighting and effects for live concerts. It was eventually bought by Phil Collins.

Most bands/groups had two crews to support them, one on location and the other leapfrogging to the next concert. Robert Palmer had four crews because the schedule was so compressed with concerts every weekend and sometimes mid week! He literally wore the roadies out! He'd tour and take a month off to recover.

Gives James Brown a real run for title "Hardest working man in music." No wonder he died at 54 from a heart attack.

[MLAA]

9. That is interesting! 🙂

[Leith]

10. But...

Will you still respect yourself in the morning?

[smirkymonkey]

11. I think it would be a nice touch to make yourself breakfast in the morning.