No-one could ever call me Florence

[Soph0571]

I am shit with blood and bowels and vomit. When I was 16-18 I worked as a cleaner in one of my parents nursing homes. I was heaving *gack* pretty much all of the time. But now I have made a decision and I am living it. As the SO spends most of the day in bed, hunkered down with his pain, I am being his Nightingale. Quite frankly, my ability to put up with *gack* seems to have matured as my only focus is to make him as comfortable as possible. What he gets he needs, always. But the dread of him leaving me, laying heavy in the pit of my stomach, will not cease. He is dying in front of my eyes. Every time I go check on him, I expect it to be the last time I see him breathing. So yet again I call on you. I know this is tedious, but this is the rhythm of my life as my heart prepares to go off planet and I need your backs. Soz for emotional bollocks.

[In_The_Wind]

1. We will be here as often as you need us, Soph.

[Soph0571]

12. The support means the world to me

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. At times like this I am glad I grew up in the troubles... your EI takes a hammering and it helps in times like this.

[In_The_Wind]

14. You will always cherish every moment you have together.

[LizBeth]

2. You are providing such a gift to this man you love, such a gift and always with gifts to others,

It will be a gift to you in the end, knowing the comfort and love provided as someone you love left this earth. A hug to you.

[TreasonousBastard]

3. It better not be tedious for anyone here. You're living it. And we all wish you whatever...

you need to get through it.

[tblue37]

4. I am so sorry that you (and he) are going through this. My heart breaks for you. nt

[Karadeniz]

5. I truly do understand...we just do what we have to do, don't we? A recurrence of my husband's

Leukemia coincided with pneumonia and his needing heart valve replacement. He cratered and slept pretty well 24/7. I found myself checking his blanket to make sure I could see some movement. Now I have stress asthma...it'll pass one of these days. Unlike your unfortunately, mine is slowly recovering. Scream here whenever you need to. It's what we're here for!❤

[Ohiogal]

6. It's amazing

what you can bring yourself to do when it really matters.

I’m so sorry. Here’s another hug.

[magicarpet]

7. Get someone to sit and watch,... so you can sneak off and treat yourself to a walk,..

... or a bubble bath. You need personal time every so often so you don't get burnt out. Maybe a day nurse can come in one or two days week to lighten your load ?

[flotsam]

8. Soph...

Real thoughts and prayers to you both.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. You are a brave, brave soul, my dear Soph! Your SO's last days will be better ones...

with you taking care of him.

You are lucky to have one another as you traverse this scary, difficult time. Love doesn't make the world go round--love makes the ride worthwhile!

[Soph0571]

13. We are a unit

I am really rather eccentric and he understands me in a way no-one else does. I am going to miss that and him terribly, but right now it is all about rolling up the sleeves and getting to work, to make him as comfortable as possible.

[Stuart G]

10. Prayers & Best Wishes Always

[lillypaddle]

11. What a terrible hell you are in right now

rant on, it can be somewhat cleansing. So hard, so hard.

[Cosmo Blues]

15. You vastly underestimate your value

Last edited Fri Sep 4, 2020, 08:36 PM - Edit history (1)

As someone who did what you're doing for decades it's invaluable, you are Florence Nightingale as unlikely as that may seem to you and maybe everybody here a dab of a pleasant scent on your fulcrum some use petroleum jelly I know not why. My heart goes out to you dear

[Soph0571]

20. Och love

Your support means so much right now. It is so damn good to see you here in my new online home

[lunatica]

16. Hugs dear Soph.

You will never, ever regret what you’re doing now. In its own strange way it will give you a feeling of peace in the future. Believe me, that feeling will be very important.

[Hekate]

17. Ah, Soph, this is hardest of all...

To travel as far as you can on this journey with your beloved, easing their passage as best you can, but unable to cross the final border with them.

May you both find peace.

[struggle4progress]

18. .

[a kennedy]

19. So sorry you have to do this for your SO......know it's appreciated.....

like it’s been said before me......take time for yourself......know you are loved.