I suppose this means I have officially gained little ol' lady status.

[Arkansas Granny]

When I sent a text to the guy who mows my yard today, he referred to me as "sweetie" in his reply. 👵👵👵

[Kath2]

1. You are a "sweettie" my dear.

And a wonderful poster here!

[Arkansas Granny]

3. Why, thank you.

You'll make me blush.

[Kath2]

8. I love your posts.

You rock, Granny.

[LakeArenal]

2. I got a "sweetie" from a bank manager?!?

Wha?

[Arkansas Granny]

4. Kinda like when they automatically give you the senior discount before you ask.

[LakeArenal]

5. I didn't like theday I got my first "mam".

That was decades ago. Sigh.

[elleng]

7. DITTO!!!

[elleng]

6. 'Sweetie's' been long gone from my ears;

'first' ol lady status sign was 'Ma'am,' and it's not going away. (I know folks are being polite, but it pisses me OFF!)

[whathehell]

11. At least "Ma'am" is respectful..The "dear" and " sweetie" treatment

is patronizing, in my opinion..I won't take it from anyone.

[whathehell]

9. Language like that coming from a young male to an older woman

is patronizing in my opinion. ...I would have set him straight.

[Deuxcents]

12. Yes..and it pisses me off, too

Some young kid called me “sweetie” not long ago and I told him “I am not your sweetie” and is that what your manager instructed you to say? I thought he was gonna trip on his tongue there for a minute..I have not been back

[whathehell]

14. Yep..I tell them "Don't call me that -- I'm old enough to be your mother"

It usually takes them back, but they stop, and sometimes apologize.

[Arkansas Granny]

15. He's in his 50's and has been mowing my lawn for years. I wasn't offended.

[whathehell]

18. Whatever floats your boat..

[agingdem]

10. I achieved little old lady status

when the checker at Target asked me if I needed a carry-out...I had one bag with two boxes of Kleenex...I told her I was good..

[Siwsan]

13. My favorite clerk at Aldi calls me 'Dear' sometimes.

He's such a sweet, kind young man, always taking the time to talk with me and ask how I'm doing, and he remembers things from our past conversations, so I really don't mind.

[whathehell]

34. Exceptions do occur. n/t.

[Croney]

16. I'm an old lady, but I doubt anyone would dare call me sweetie.

And luckily I live in a state (MA) where ma'am is not used much.

I'm trying to picture some guy calling Nancy Pelosi "sweetie"... ha

[dameatball]

17. I call my adult daughters (in their 30's) "Sweetie" all the time. So from my point of view age is

irrelevant. I called them that for decades. It is a term of affection, not necessarily an assignment to little ol lady status.

On second thought, different situation perhaps.... I dunno.

[whathehell]

19. They're your children, your family -- That's an entirely different

situation than being addressed that way by some stranger.

[dameatball]

24. Hey, if he'll mow my yard I'll call him sweetie too.

[whathehell]

28. Clever.

[stopdiggin]

27. it could be a cultural thing too

(for which I think allowances should be made) Lots of rural people have been 'sweetheart'-ing everybody forever -- and it's not a sign of disrespect at all. Then in my neighborhood -- if somebody is trying to denigrate or disrespect you -- there's going to very little 'sugar' added to the lump at all.

[whathehell]

29. You seem to misunderstand me..

I never said the terms "sweetie", "honey", etc, were disrespectful in themselves -- It's a matter of context. I said that when delivered by YOUNGER people to OLDER people it's inappropriate and patronizing.

[stopdiggin]

31. that's somewhat a matter of context too

If you feel like you're being patronized I suppose you have a right to umbrage. Everyone of course have a right to be addressed respectfully. On the other hand, it would seem like (looking up and down the string) there seems to be a range of opinion on whether this constitutes an affront -- or just casual usage.

(The more I sit and consider this -- and the fact that you introduce an 'age qualifier' as having some significance to the conversation -- the more convinced I become that we just fundamentally disagree on the most basic level here. But I respect your right to have your own opinion -- and especially as it regards your own interactions and relationships.)

----- -----

[whathehell]

32. Lol..Sure.

It's hardly just me who "feels they're being patronized"..If you read the thread, and adjust for age and degree of acquaintance, you'll see that most of the women here feel as I do. Frankly, you sound like a male who' is either unfamiliar with, or unreceptive to, the issue of sexist language and behavior.

[stopdiggin]

43. well Granny wrote the original post ....

but then I notice that you didn't much care for her take on the matter either. In fact, found time to get pretty much in her face about it. But, your right -- it must be a matter of people being unfamiliar ....

[whathehell]

44. ..And that means what?

Last edited Mon Apr 12, 2021, 05:35 PM - Edit history (1)

".but then I noticed that you didn't much care for her take on the matter
either. In fact took the time to pretty much 'get in her face about it"

Lol., no, I think it's pretty obvious, to the unbiased mind, at least, just who "doesn't much care" for whose take on things, to the point "of pretty much getting in their face about it".

[True Dough]

20. I still know quite a few

people who consider themselves seniors and don't know how to text or just cannot be bothered. So good for you for being text-friendly (not to mention DU and internet-friendly).

[Delmette2.0]

21. It is disrespectful from someone you are not close to.

When my brother died my sister, mother and I went to the small town funeral home to see him and make plans to take him to the funeral home of Mom's choice.

The Funeral Director (we think he was drunk) addressed Mom as sweetie. This was an 80 year old woman, five foot -zero, hunched over from osteoporosis and grief. The second time he said sweetie, I was ready. I firmly with out yelling said "No, no, no! You will address her as Mrs.(last name)." Sister and Mom saw the anger on my face and were surprised that the quite little sister would erupt and basically tell an older man to STFU.

He had no professional manners. When we got to the funeral home of choice, we were asked about the prior one. We told them how rude and unprofessional he was. I hope some how the message goes passed along to the powers that be.

My message is that women don't have to take any condescending crap from men.

[Fla Dem]

22. I agree. It is condescending whether meant that way or not.

A non family member, especially a male really has no business calling a woman “sweetie “.

[whathehell]

35. Precisely.

and well said. I'm glad you spoke up.

[Phentex]

41. I agree but I understand others might not. I said this on reddit and...

was called all kinds of ugly names and told to fuck off. ALL because I said I found it condescending in many situations, even though I understand the name caller might not have bad intentions. It's just something that needs to go away as far as I'm concerned.

[Delmette2.0]

42. You are correct, it needs to go away.

If those men with old attitudes cannot get with the current trend, then f*** them. Those men need to listen and watch current news and the opinions from the last 12-14 years.

Equal means equal. Not greater than or less than, just equal to!

[whathehell]

45. My understanding of Reddit is that it's often QUITE uncivil

They may not be the best gauge of public opinion.

[Phentex]

46. I'm sure...

nothing shocks me anymore.

[dweller]

23. Maybe I don't belong here

but as a little old man, I had a nurse call me sweetie, as in ‘just follow me sweetie’ (she was middle aged) and I didn’t mind
I followed her like a puppy ... it’s been a long time since anyone called me
‘sweet anything’

✌🏻

[Arkansas Granny]

25. I wasn't offended, just surprised.

As I said earlier, he has been mowing my yard for several years now, so it's not like he's a total stranger.

[whathehell]

30. Maybe it's the fact that you're male..

and haven't had a lifetime of being talked down to by the opposite sex.

[Arkansas Granny]

36. Let me be clear. I did not feel like I was being talked down to.

[whathehell]

37. I'm not talking to or ABOUT you, Granny

We've already had our little exchange, remember?

[Arkansas Granny]

39. Of course, sweetie.

[whathehell]

40. Fine, little old lady

[hamsterjill]

26. Yeppers!

You have arrived!!! LOL

[zanana1]

33. Expect to be called "Honey" and "young lady".

I am a little old lady and I don't mind being called honey or sweetie, but I hate being called "young lady". It's just so condescending.

[whathehell]

38. You can expect it..

Those called the rest of us those things can expect to be corrected.