High school reunion?

[Rorey]

Do you attend?

I'm just not able summon up any interest within myself for the reunion being planned for next summer.

[Hoyt]

1. I've gone to a few, but I would have enjoyed sitting home and playing my mandola more.

We had one last year, didn't even think about going because I might have punched a few of the many trumpsters in my class. Few of the folks I liked went. I might reconsider now that trump is gone and humiliated.

[Rorey]

4. Maybe if I lived close, I'd be more amenable to the idea of going

It's a thousand miles away in a tiny town in ND. It would take one LONG and boring day to get there.

My thought is if I wanted to know what everyone was up to these days, I'd have kept in touch. I feel like I've lived many lives since I left that tiny town, and I don't really relish the idea of having a bunch of people I know longer know ask me questions, especially when they probably don't care to hear the answers anyway. If they did, they'd have kept in touch.

[Rorey]

5. And yeah, that trumpster thing is another complication

ND is very red.

[Croney]

2. I went to the 50th in 2011 and the 55th in 2016.

The 60th is coming up in September and I'm already thinking about what I'll wear.

I was not a popular girl. I was bookish and sang in the choir. My late cousin was class President, and he was voted best of everything. If living the longest has to be my special skill, well alrighty then. So be it.

[blueinredohio]

3. Nope!

[Siwsan]

6. I've gone to 3. I seriously doubt I'll go to the 4th.

For one reason, it's this Summer, and given the Covid situation in Michigan, well, I'm far from confident things will be safe.

The first one I went to, I had just been dumped and he was there with my best friend. I got through it and actually did have fun, despite the 'situation'.

The 2nd was a whole lot of fun. No drama, at all.

After the 3rd, (which was even more fun) I ended up being pursued and pestered by two different former classmates who were far more 'emotionally' attached to me than I was to them. We had been friends during and shortly after high school but then I left the area, enlisted in the Navy, I evolved and and moved on with my life. Unfortunately, they remained mired in the past and maybe even regressed, a bit. It took me MONTHS to finally break the communication although, years later, one still tries. It actually became pretty creepy.

So, the jury is still out.

[Rorey]

7. EW

That DOES sound pretty creepy.

This one isn't until 2022, so we may be out of the pandemic by then. Fingers crossed.

My brother spends a lot of time visiting the old home town, and he has told me that nobody wears masks there. Even if we're past the whole mask-wearing experience by then, I'll know the mindset of those people. I just really don't fit in with those people. I couldn't wait to go away to college, and never had a desire to step back into that life.

[Siwsan]

9. I've learned that with some exceptions, the people I'd love to see, again, don't attend reunions

I've gotten together with some former classmates, outside of reunions, but the truth is, we really don't have much in common. One, who was one of my big high school crushes, turned out to have become an obnoxiously rabid right winger. Fortunately, it took a while for that to come out because we kept busy catching up, instead of talking politics. Then, he suddenly decided to drop the mask. I was so aghast, I dropped the relationship.

[Rorey]

11. Occasionally I'll run into someone from that past life

A couple of years ago one of my classmates was coming through my town and wanted to meet up at a restaurant. It wasn't comfortable. I don't like asking prying questions because I'm always wary of overstepping. At the same time, I don't enjoy telling someone all about what has happened in decades of my own life. Why would they be interested?

The example you gave of finding out that your past crush was a right wing nut is a good reason that I see not to delve into past relationships very deeply. I might not want to know as much as I'd find out. I'd rather have a memory of someone being a good person than finding out that they developed into an asshole.

[trixie2]

8. If it weren't for the pandemic....

We missed our 40th reunion last year and no reunion this year.

When we were getting ready for our 5 year reunion we found out that the class president and treasurer had cleaned out our class account that defrays the cost of fancy reunions. Best thing ever, as it turn out. We now meet at a bar and restaurant near the old high school and come as we are. No cost except for what you consume. No fancy clothes and venue costs. It is so popular that we were doing it every year and had a contest of which elementary school had the most attendees. Other year's classes have now joined us.

In my case with the "come as you are" I say YES. No, the president and treasurer have never showed their faces.

[Rorey]

12. I'm sure this one will be informal

I'll be curious to find out where it's even going to be held. The school itself may no longer exist.

[trixie2]

42. attending class reunions at the school is so 1950s

Most use a venue to meet. It can be very pricey. I know of people that meet at beaches or very nice parks. Stony Creek is very popular for some schools/classes around here.

[Rorey]

44. Looks lovely

This reunion is in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota. No beaches. No very nice parks. It's in the summer, of course, and that means it'll be bug season. We're talking mosquitoes as big as birds, along with TICKS. The only respite from the bugs is when the wind is blowing, and there's nothing to stop that wind when it decides to blow. It's horrible.

I suppose the organizers of this event will see what the turnout is going to be before deciding on venues for the three-day event. I'm sure there will be a street dance. There will likely be a baseball game. I honestly can't see what in the world they can come up with to fill three days.

[trixie2]

55. 3 days? Wow!

I could maybe do 3 hours. Keep us posted.

[Rorey]

57. Every couple of years that tiny town comes up with something

I'm sure it's really a way to bring a little revenue into the town to try to keep it alive awhile longer.

The school is almost completely gone now. I found out from the reunion website that only the gymnasium is still there, and someone bought it years ago to use for storage. There's a cafe that's open for very limited hours, and they sell things like milk and bread because there is no grocery store anymore. I think there's still a gas/service station. I'm not even sure the churches are still operating.

There's a bar! I know that's still there. It'll probably be the last thing to go.

[trixie2]

76. This is why we should let migrants/asylum seekers in

My city took in 30k Iraqis/Bengalis. Just to bring professionals from Iraq to fill abandoned homes. We really needed the boost to schools as our birth rate has dropped drastically.

[we can do it]

10. Nope. No interest in fake people.

[Rorey]

13. Yep. Not interested in fake

At the same time, I may not even want to know the truth.

[we can do it]

41. Too funny!

[Rorey]

45. I always tell the truth, no matter how colorful it might be

I'm sure I could make some folks very uncomfortable if I started telling stories about what we in my family refer to as "The Hell Years". We went through two years of complete hell after my favorite husband died, leaving me with three adolescent children who were just itching to get into whatever kind of trouble they were close enough to get into. We laugh about it now, but I'm just so thankful that everyone lived through it and didn't end up in prison.

And those stories would probably pale in comparison to what I learned about my last husband during the divorce process. He'd sure never be able to show his face around there again after I told those stories. He's not from there, but has made lots of fishing trips up there with my brother, so he's got a few friends up there.

Yeah, story time could be fun.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

22. At the 10 year reunion people are still

trying to be exactly what they were in high school, or are trying to convince you they were better than you recall.

By 35 years, people are exactly who they are. My experience at several different such reunions is that there are no fakes who show up. Honestly.

[Backseat Driver]

14. Never been...though I lurk on a web site for my class.

that includes the means to communicate. The organizers know where and how to reach me, LOL! The reunions just were never a "priority." Guess I'm curious about the folks I attended HS with (a very large class graduating in one of those "Summers of Love&quot but I guess I enjoy that "introvert" curiosity more than the vulnerabilities of an in-person expense and meet up.

[Rorey]

17. Years ago I was bored

I looked up some classmates and got in touch with one, and we started emailing. I figured out very quickly that I no longer liked her. She and her husband were quite wealthy, having made their fortune in multi-level marketing. To me that's a pyramid scheme, which means that they got rich by taking advantage of others via what is basically a scam. It didn't take long for her to start trying to bring me into the MLM thing, and I just cut her off and put her on ignore.

[Paladin]

15. I'd advise you to attend.

High school reunions get better and better with time. I went to our 50th a couple of years ago, and it was a blast. The contrast is amazing: Some people have completely changed, and others are just the same.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

16. Although I didn't graduate, I went to the 25th. I was an outsider being from a poor family with a

history and reputation that preceded me. It was actually therapeutic. Many of the in crowd people had achieved far less than I. A lot of them had drug addictions or were in recovery. Lots of divorces and broken families. Most of the assholes were still assholes.

One of the saddest aspects was learning the number of classmates that were claimed by the war in Vietnam.

[Rorey]

19. Oh, that would be so sad

There were only 10 in my own graduating class, and all are still living, but some of us have had some huge losses in our lives.

About 15 years ago I spent quite a bit of time back in that area when I was taking care of my dad at the end of his life. My dad wanted to go to a big annual picnic in town, so we went. I saw this guy who was an absolute asshole back in the day. He hadn't changed. Everyone else seemed to have matured and at least knew how to act among other humans.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

18. Absolutely.

I say, go to as many as possible.

I'm in the unusual situation of attending class reunions for two different classes at the same high school. I was original slated to graduate in 1966, but by doubling up on a number of classes I was a senior my third year and graduated in 1965. I attended my first 10 year reunion, then didn't attend any more until the class of '66 contacted me for the 35th in 2001. I've attended every reunion for each class ever since. Even though they are both good sized classes, a bit over 400 people each, there are fascinating difference in class personalities between the two.

There was no 55th for the class of '65, and the class of '66 is still considering doing one. I will probably attend if it happens.

[Rorey]

21. This is an all-encompassing reunion

All years, for the existence of the school. That sounds like a big event, but I doubt there will be more than possibly a few hundred people there.

There was one of these all-encompassing reunions years ago, and I did not go. My brother did, and he told me lots of people were asking about me, as if that might make me wish that I had gone.

As I said above, if it was closer, I might me more inclined to think about going. It's a thousand miles away, in the middle of nowhere. That means I'd have to devote at least five or six days to this adventure after considering travel time. So far, I'm leaning against going.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

24. Something like that could be even more interesting,

as you'd get to meet the older and younger siblings of your classmates. Although I do understand that your interest level isn't all that high.

[Rorey]

27. Well, I have over a year to decide

Maybe I'll warm up to the idea.

My brother texted me about it a few weeks ago. The beginning of his text was, "Not that you'll be interested, but....." I didn't even respond to that remark. I think it bothers him for some reason that I don't really have a desire to take that stroll down memory lane.

I just really love the life that I'm in right now. I just don't know that I want to step back into the past.

Maybe I'm over-thinking it all.

Yeah, I'm probably over-thinking it.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

35. If it's over a year away, the travel context might be rather different.

You could consider making an entire vacation for that week.

[Rorey]

43. I just don't see myself vacationing in ND

Or in either of the red states between here and there.

That would be a great idea if it was in another part of the country, but where I grew up is truly in the middle of nowhere. I could travel 40 miles and see the World's Largest Buffalo for the umpteenth time.

I've just made the trip so many times that even if there was something enjoyable to do, I've already done it multiple times. There's basically a whole lot of nothingness between here and there. A thousand miles of desolation.

My very best non-family friend lives about three hours from the reunion site, so I might consider driving up and visiting her if she's still there by then. She's not happy and is considering divorcing her drunken husband and relocating.

I just don't know what I'll do. The entire trip would be quite emotional for me. My parents are now gone, and it's just a sad thing for me to go there and have them not be there. In a way I feel that I should face those types of things and do them so I can work through them, and in another way I wonder if that emotional pain has any benefit.

Whatever I decide to do, I really appreciate everyone's input. I'm sure I'll bounce the idea around a lot and see how I feel next year...... if I'm still around, that is.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

46. Ahhhh, okay.

Thank you for sharing that.

[Jilly_in_VA]

20. I went to the 10th

It was kind of boring. People were pretty much the same as they had been. The 20th, I didn't have time, likewise the 30th. But I did go to the 40th, and I would say that if you don't go to another one, that's the good one. All the barriers were down. I hugged people I barely spoke to back then, and got to know people I barely had known, and it was an absolutely wonderful weekend. I didn't make the 50th, and our 60th has been postponed until next summer, but I'm definitely going to that one. There are a lot of us missing now and I would like to see some of those who are left.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

23. My experience exactly.

People that didn't seem to have the time of day for me back in high school were very friendly in those later reunions. Maybe I had misjudged them in the first place.

[Jilly_in_VA]

25. There was that

and then there were people I hadn't had the time to get to know. A guy who a friend had married, who was slowly dying of a terminal illness (he lasted another 4 years) and ran with a crowd I was a little afraid of, not rough but very "alternative" for those times. Another person who was just in a whole different circle. We had a huge class, nearly 500, so there were a lot of people I hadn't gotten to know. I was pretty shy in high school and not very social, and I moved away from there when I was 30, so hadn't associated with anyone. My best friends weren't there--two had died, one lived far away and hadn't come, and the other was physically too frail--so I had to talk to other people. It was amazing!

[Rorey]

34. I went to a few of my (now ex) husband's reunions

They weren't too far away, so we went. I started noticing that they talked about the same things at every reunion. It was like I had seen that movie before.

[Rorey]

33. They just grew up

They grew up into real humans.

[Desert grandma]

26. I went to the ten year reunion

with my husband and did not really enjoy it. We did not go to anymore until the 50th. Much to my surprise, it was actually a lot of fun. No one really cared how popular or not you were or how much you have accomplished. Everyone that came was happy that so many of our classmates were alive, mobile and relatively healthy. An even bigger bonus was to see some of our teachers. We had a cocktail and snack hour on Friday evening, then on Saturday mid morning was "walking the halls" of our high school and a dinner that evening. I was glad we went.

[Rorey]

30. I don't think any part of my old school is still standing

Even if it is, it would likely be unsafe to walk the halls. In tiny little rural towns like the one I came from, the schools eventually have to close.

[ironflange]

48. My school's gone too

It was knocked down to make way for light rail. I don't miss it.

[Ocelot II]

28. I went to my 20th, but that was the only one.

It was sort of gratifying to see that the other unpopular nerds like me had grown up to be pretty successful and normal, and that the snotty cheerleaders had become fat and the obnoxious football jocks were both fat and bald; but having satisfied myself that karmic justice had been done I've never gone to another one.

[Rorey]

32. One gratifying thing for me

I spent a lot of time back in my home town about 15 years ago when I was helping my dad at the end of his life, and I found that a guy who had a horrible childhood, and had a bad time in school, grew up to have a very nice life.

I was always a nice person, and wasn't part of the clique that treated that guy badly. It was good to see he overcame what life dealt to him back then.

[Archae]

29. Been 40+ years now, been invited, but have never gone.

I detested almost all the guys I graduated with, so I have no interest in one.

[Rorey]

31. Some probably grew up

But is it worth your time to find out? Probably not.

I honestly liked just about everyone back then, but I guess I didn't like any enough to keep in touch.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

36. Here's a related story.

Several years ago I was at Bubonicon in Albuquerque, which is a science fiction con I like to attend. Started talking with a guy who was selling some very interesting space-themed jewelry. I asked him where he was from, and he said Bisbee, Arizona, then started to tell me where that is, and I said, "I know where that is. I went to high school in Tucson." He said, "What high school?" I told him which one, he said, "I went there also." Then he asked me what year I graduated. 1965. He said, "OMG, I graduated that year also!" Turns out we'd never known or even heard of each other, and never had any classes together. I said, "I hope you are planning to come to the 50th reunion." He said yes, that the woman who was planning it had read him the riot act about coming. It was nice, as we were able to cross paths again at the reunion.

[Rorey]

38. What a small world!

That's really quite amazing.

There have been a few instances where I have run into someone I know hundreds of miles from where I knew them. I'm always amazed at coincidences like that.

[gratuitous]

37. Haven't made any yet

But our class isn't the most together bunch. I think we've had perhaps two reunions. The 10 year seemed far too soon, and the other one (20? 25? 30?) never got an invitation. Our 50th year is in the offing, but I have no idea if there's going to be a reunion. If there is one, and the timing works out, I'm a definite maybe.

[Rorey]

39. Definite maybe - I'm definitely maybe going to steal that

When I get the official notice of the reunion I'll respond that I'm definitely maybe going to be there, and definitely maybe not going to be there.

[TexasBushwhacker]

40. I went to most of them

I skipped a couple, but my 50th will be in 2025, so I'll definitely go to that.

[Wounded Bear]

47. My 20th was pre-empted by a divorce, 50th would have been 2020...

so, uh, no.

[whistler162]

49. Nope.... my father, a bus driver

was more popular than I was. Also worked with one person who it turns out graduated with me....

[NNadir]

50. I went to my 10th...

All the really cool guys in high school were working low level jobs.

The best thing about the whole event was that the worst dork in high school, a casual friend, showed up with a high powered job and a drop dead gorgeous and highly intelligent wife, with the cool guys, some of whom now pumping gas, were asking themselves, "How did [insert name] end up...with that job...that wife...etc..."

I was really happy for him, because I know the grief and criticism he endured in high school. It was probably for him as it was when Janis Joplin - a rock star - showed up at her reunion after being the outcast loser in high school.

I was a mid range dork, nothing special, in high school and was one again at the reunion - I hadn't quite "found myself" even after 10 years - and since people were still pretty much predictable, some still talking about the same crap they were talking about as kids, I missed and was disinterested in all future reunions.

I no longer know anyone I knew in high school; I reinvented myself. What is dead should stay dead. I would have nothing to say to those people. I suspect or imagine most of them grew up to be the kind of people who voted for Trump.

[Rorey]

53. I agree - What is dead should stay dead

A long time ago I read something that said that sometimes relationships run their course and should then be allowed to end. I was friends with all of the girls in my very small class when I was in high school, but when it was over, it was over. I left for college when I was 17, and I really never looked back, for the most part. Sure, I ran into some folks now and then, but I never really saw a reason to re-start any friendships.

I did discover, in looking through FB earlier today, that someone who went through a horrible situation when she was barely a teen is now a very successful woman. The perpetrators of what happened to her were never charged or punished.

She lives in Georgia now, and on her FB page there's a pic of her and her significant other with Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter. There are also some posts denigrating trump. So she not only survived, but she thrived.

[Solly Mack]

51. Fuck no. I didn't like the people then. Not pretending to now.

[Rorey]

59. I guess I liked mostly everyone

But obviously I didn't like them enough to keep in touch.

[Wolf Frankula]

52. I went to my 5 year reunion

I never went to any others.

Wolf

[Skittles]

54. I went to three high schools

and, no, no and no

[tanyev]

56. I think some people in my class are planning one for this year.

It’s a five hour drive for us and I would definitely consider it if there were no pandemic, but I can’t imagine doing something like that this summer, even with a vaccination. It’s a little town in a red area. I see lots of pictures in the hometown newspaper of people not wearing masks and it’s a safe bet a good chunk of my classmates won’t get vaccinated.

[Rorey]

58. Yeah, nobody wears a mask in my hometown either

According to my brother, who goes there quite a bit in the summer, nobody there is taking the pandemic seriously. A couple of people did get the virus, and at least one got it pretty bad, but they're all repukes so they're not about to do anything sensible.

This reunion that I'm most likely to skip isn't until July of 2022, so maybe things will be more normal. Or the whole town will be dead.

[LeftInTX]

60. I've only been to one and it was my 5th.

My 50th will be in 2024.

I connected with a group of classmates on facebook. We had a large class (535 graduates) I just discovered the group last week. Found out a troubled friend died in 1998. And then on friday another friend died.

I wasn't popular at all. It seems to be a mix in the FB group...I'm sure there are cliques, but it seems the not so cool kids are also pretty active in the group.

I'm mostly interested in who has died.....I live in Texas and went to HS in Wisconsin. I've lived in Texas since 1982 and lost touch with most of my classmates.

[csziggy]

61. No, I went to school with most of my classmates from kindergarten all the way through graduation

I didn't like them then and was ecstatic to leave that town.

[Rorey]

71. I did that too

Same classmates from beginning to end. In my case it's not that I disliked them. I just never really felt like I belonged there. I was the youngest one in my class, and in today's world I wouldn't have been able to start school at the age that I did.

Like you, I couldn't wait to leave that town. I counted the days all summer long until I got to leave for the university. When Labor Day weekend came most of the students in my dorm couldn't wait to go back home for the long weekend. Not me.

[csziggy]

73. My dislike started after not having anything in common for years

And when my classmates gave me a hard time because I was better informed than they were and willing to learn, which they were not.

Fifth grade, our science teacher pulled out a map and asked if anyone knew what it was. Well, my father was a mining engineer and had geodetic survey maps all over the place. I'd even used some of them to find places o go bicycle riding. So I knew the correct name and how to read them - the other kids had no clue. Then that same teacher as part of teaching the preliminaries of statistics, explained about grading on the bell curve - and how my grade skewed everybody else's to a lower grade. The other kids never forgave me for that.

So by the time we all got to junior high, I was pretty much an outcast. Good thing I was an introvert and didn't want to socialize very much, though it badly affected my ability to deal with people. Leaving that town and those people was the best thing ever. I learned how to have friends, how to deal with people, nice and unpleasant, and how to understand people who are willfully unable to learn anything.

[Rorey]

74. Grading on the curve

Why did anyone ever think that was a good idea?

[raccoon]

62. Never been to any of mine. There are only a few classmates

I’d care to see now.

[Rorey]

72. I can't think of any I'd really care to see

It just seems like it would be so awkward. Asking people about their lives seems intrusive, and the "remember when" stuff gets old pretty fast.

I'd also have to come up with an answer for why I didn't accept them as friends on FB, and they might not like that answer.

[lastlib]

63. Have no interest in any of the people I went to school with.

I've only even seen a small handful of them.

[Phentex]

64. No. I kept in touch with a few people but I don't have Facebook...

and some people don't care enough to keep in touch the old fashioned way.

[Mad_Dem_X]

65. I went to my 5 and 10 year ones

Everybody was exactly the same. I haven't been back to any more. Just not interested.

[Iggo]

66. I went to four different high schools.

The people who go to these things wouldn’t remember me. (I barely remember them....lol.)

[hunter]

67. I suffered two years in high school before I escaped.

In high school I was constantly harassed and frequently beaten bloody so I learned how to be invisible. This did not improve my life.

Curiously, of all my siblings, my sister and I who quit high school are the ones with degrees from top tier universities. Our siblings who graduated from high school were more practical, they went for technical certifications and associate degrees and did very well.

A few years ago I attended the wake of someone I'd grown up with, who was the brother of a friend. Some of the guys who'd bullied me in middle and high school were there but they didn't recognize me. After quitting high school I'd grown nearly a foot taller and gained some substantial muscle. I didn't look like queerbait any more. This was the nickname they'd given me starting in middle school.

Forty years later some of these guys were still bullies of various sorts. Listening to their lamentations of divorce, estranged children, and all the women who'd done them wrong just made me sad. Drugs and alcohol killed my friend's brother. I suppose that's one way to escape.

Many interesting and successful people from my high school fled our 99% affluent white "hometown" soon after they graduated and never looked back.

[Rorey]

68. Kids can be so cruel

And it's really pathetic when they continue that cruelty after they grow up.

[Generic Brad]

69. Nope

I went to my 10th and it was nothing but put downs about the job I had at the time and insensitive insults and comments about my interracial/international marriage. I will not be back.

[Rorey]

70. Wow

Sounds like absolute hell, and they sound like absolute assholes.

[Generic Brad]

75. It was a very small, private school

Not prestigious. Just small, private, and church run.