So I just read in the Bible a man has to make the coffee

[Duncanpup]

Hebrews

[femmedem]

1. Mr. Femmedem, who makes our morning coffee, got a belly laugh from this.

Thanks!

[Duncanpup]

2. I'm glad to give you a laugh mr

I find them and post them

[MLAA]

3. That has always been my favorite book in the Bible.

It has sustained me and brought me sustenance and comfort in my darkest hours!

[Duncanpup]

4. You my friend are so knowledgeable

[MLAA]

5. Additionally, I am not one to interpret the Bible literaly. I have a more open and general

interpretation thus ‘man should humbly wash the feet of the poor’ becomes ‘man should mop the floors’.

And I often remind dear husband cleanliness is next to godliness.

[Escurumbele]

6. Good one...

How can people who read that passage have missed that wash=mop and feet=floor

[TexasTowelie]

8. Yikes!

A doctrinally enforced honey-do list. I knew that it was wise to run, not walk, the last time I was invited to the pair & spares Sunday school class.

[MLAA]

23. Run, don't walk and do t look back!

[twodogsbarking]

7. Good one Dad.

[marble falls]

9. That's the Baptist version. In my version, "he brews beer". Crusade have been held over less.

[Duncanpup]

11. Exactly madam and sir

We hold a high degree of tolerance

[wnylib]

14. That was my take on Hebrews, too.

Fermentation is mentioned in the Bible - a whole nation of fermenters called the Medes, from whom the Brits got mead.

[marble falls]

15. And don't forget hard likker, the Bible talks about folks being "filled with the spirit".

[wnylib]

17. Especially at weddings, where the water tastes like wine.

[wnylib]

18. So filled with it that their tongues turned to fire on Pentecost

[wnylib]

19. Does Pentecost mean that it cost $5?

[marble falls]

20. Trick question: it's pronounced "pennycost" ...

... and yes, at a time of penny candy, I believed it, anything could be had for a penny.

[wnylib]

21. Only a penny? Cheap wine.

I chose an upgrade in price since pente means 5. But it could be 5 cents.

[marble falls]

22. It was only for one day, Good Friday. And I was a parochial school kid. That was my takeaway ...

... from the theology of Easter Week. "There were some bargains to be had."

[wnylib]

26. ?? Public school kid here.

I did not follow that.

[MLAA]

25. I like your translation better.

Communion is beer and a pretzel if I recall correctly.

[marble falls]

30. My friend, you are a biblical scholar!

https://www.noboringlessons.com/pretzel-a-reminder-of-prayer/

Pretzel: A Reminder of Prayer

You can either read the following quote in class and/or tie it to each pretzel as a hand out:

In about 610 A.D. a very creative Alpine Monk decided to make use of the pieces of dough left over from baking bread. The Monk formed them into thin strips folded into a looped twist to represent the folded arms of children in prayer. This scrumptious treat was given to the children as they learned their prayers. They began calling the treat "Pretiola", which is Latin for "little reward". Soon it was known the world over as a pretzel. The secret of making great pretzels is not only in the baking but also in the shaping.

We, like pretzels, are made from the best ingredients, by the best hands available, the hands of our Father in Heaven. Have you ever seen a broken pretzel, or one that's lost its shape? We too, can lose our shape when we don't pray always to keep our spirituality intact. Even in the midst of our greatest trials, we must remember, as did Job, to call on the Lord. The simple shape of the pretzel, arms folded in prayer, reminds us to pray each day. Our "Pretiola" or "little rewards" are the blessings we receive. Every time you see a pretzel, remember prayer. Check to see if your arms are often folded in prayer and have not lost their shape.

(You can make them large like the ones sold at Pretzel stands, or a bunch of small ones if you have a large primary/Sunday school class.)

[MLAA]

31. I did not know that!!

Thanks for sharing 🙂

[marble falls]

32. I like it. Eating pretzels and drinking ale brewed by Belgian monks has kept me from having ...

... to go to church!

[GeoWilliam750]

29. I just checked

That's what mine says, too

[sarge43]

10. The forgotten Commandment

"The man shall take out the garbage."

The Book of Honeydoes.

[Duncanpup]

12. I break the honey does commandant all time

[sarge43]

13. You have been judged and found wanting.

No cuddles for you, Buster.

[IronLionZion]

16. I make wonderful coffee at home

I can make her some freshly ground aeropress or french press, or cold brew with oat milk cold foam. No need for her to waste money on Starbucks.

Years ago a girlfriend gave me a Turkish coffee pot for my birthday. I thought it was a very interesting gift but I mainly use it for making simple syrup, not coffee.

[IronLionZion]

24. When witches brew

there's a high risk of burning

[zanana1]

27. And he has to do it.

It's in the bible.

[zanana1]

28. I read that a woman cannot clean the litterbox on the Sabbath.

It's in the bible.

[marble falls]

33. Cannot or shalt not?

[zanana1]

34. Oops. Shalt not.

It's in the bible.