In mourning again, still...
I've posted before in other lesser forums, Bereavement and Chronic Health Problems about the ambivalent emotions (grief/anger/political opinions on so many issues) as well as General Discussion I have recently and not so recently encountered since May. Well, my 92 year old mother passed May 29 of this year following two strokes; today I received word that my brother died this morning while in hospice care - nothing to be done with a combination of advanced non-alcoholic liver disease, and pancreatic cancer with DM, treatment of either of which would negatively impact any hope of extended time. He had been mom's caretaker having never left home and I'd imagined he had also helped her through caring for my dad. Having been estranged from my FOO for almost 30 years made for many years of mourning their "pseudo-deaths." I was able to attend my mom's funeral such as it was (graveside service aborted by severe storm); and true to the prognosis, now my brother's. I feel a deep and tragic loss because brother and I had become reconciled, had visited, and spoke by phone last just a couple days ago but am having a harder time renewing a relationship with my sister who handled final arrangements as best as possible and will handle this funeral as well. In these days of so many hospitalizations and deaths, vaccinated and obstinately not vaccinated, neither fell victim to that disease as far as I know. I don't know how everything will eventually shake out as those remaining left our childhoods behind on very different paths...and we don't know each other or each other's families very well. I want to thank you all for being kind in providing so much civility, care, and a safe place to learn, laugh, and share for each other and for me!
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I am so sorry.
Do vent all you want; maybe it'll help. And remember, there is nearly always someone here.
BTW, I once lived in a 10-mile zone. I wasn't freaked out by that, but I was freaked out by the cardboard sign I was instructed to be sure to post in my front window upon evacuation and could never throw away, passing it to any other that would someday have that address. So weird! Left it on the workbench, 
I'm the obedient kind, hahaha. The marks on the Katrina homes, after the fact, reminded me of that sign and possible future destruction/survivor search. Katrina was worse! As was the photos of Andrew in Florida. We also traveled right by the 3-Mile Island incident while PG with #1 kid; no sweat!
World-class thinkers and writers, much sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Even when we’ve never met face-to-face, we all are friends here.
VERY helpful and much-needed at a time like this. I know that from personal experience. As DUer Skittles once put it, “someone’s always here.” Even just knowing that is comforting.
my younger brother died in hospice out of state in May, and I was never able to visit him due to Covid.....as if the virus wasn't enough to deal with 
I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes the distance and time are too great to heal everything. (I have an estranged brother situation and probably wouldn't hear if anything happened to him. )
Just know that we're grateful you're here.
I'm glad for you that youb& your brother were able to reconnect, even on the phone.
Please take good care of yourself and, as others have said, someone is always here.
Condolences for your brother. May he Rest In Peace.
I hope you can reconcile with the rest of your family. Maybe if you tell them what you wrote to us it will be a good way. I know it would grab my attention. I lost my mother and my son. I never stopped mourning and probably never will.
