METROPOLITAN DIARY
Red Paw Prints
Dear Diary:
I woke up late on a Saturday morning after an 18-hour workday on Friday. I was sore and groggy. My two cats usually wake me up at exactly 6 a.m. for breakfast, but on this morning they had mercifully let me sleep in.
As I was making coffee in the kitchen, I looked down and noticed red paw prints all across the white tile floor.
Alarmed, I ran back to the bedroom to inspect the cats’ feet and bodies for wounds. They yawned and seemed annoyed by my investigation.
Back in the kitchen, I pressed my nose to the ground to see whether I could detect a smell of blood, but I could not. I thought maybe the cats had raided the pantries, but a quick examination of all the cabinets turned up no clues.
I cleaned up the mess and returned to preparing my coffee. When it was ready, I poured a cup and let my brain emerge from its fog.
As I sat there, I noticed a notification on my phone. It was a text message from my landlord: “Jelly doughnut on shelf at front — enjoy.”
It was punctuated with a smiley face emoji.
— Gordon Arkenberg
Something New
Dear Diary:
It was the early 1980s, and I was riding uptown with a friend on the Madison Avenue bus. She was trying to describe a new invention she had just seen at her office: Post-it Notes. They were sticky but didn’t really stick to things, she said.
“They can easily be removed,” she explained, “leaving no glue on the page.”
I was slightly confused.
“Well, how do they stay on if they don’t really have glue on them?” I asked.
Just then, a man who was sitting across from us got up from his seat, stuck a small square of yellow paper to the outside of my coat and sat back down.
I looked down and grabbed the piece of paper. Off it came.
Suddenly, I understood.
— Leslie Long
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/09/nyregion/metropolitan-diary.html
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