So I just received the strangest dm

[Duncanpup]

A strange woman said she loves me and wants to have my children
I replied sure sent her our address and said come on over and pick them up.

Was told this by business agent in my union

[Blue Owl]

1. Reminds me a bit of that old Rodney Dangerfield classic

“My wife greeted me at the door wearing nothing but her negligè… problem was, she was just getting home!”

[panader0]

5. Another Dangerfield: "My wife's idea of oral sex is to

stand on the other side of the room and yell 'Fuck you!"

[Blue Owl]

6. LOL -- he had some great one-liners

[BComplex]

2. HA!

I had to go find my husband and tell him that one!

[Rocknation]

3. "He's such a good photographer, I allow him to shoot my kids.

When I try to shoot them, I always miss."

-- Jon Bon Jovi

[keithbvadu2]

4. I miss my ex

but my aim is getting better.

-------------------------

A freind of Sam Malone on cheers, talking about Sam and Dianne :

My ex and I get along better than you two, and we've exchanged gunfire.