'Let's Clear Some Cap Space,' Says Stone-Faced Bill Belichick Watching Players Dig Own Graves
FOXBOROUGH, MAStanding in the freezing rain at a site adjacent to Gillette Stadium, a stone-faced New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was heard to utter, Lets clear some cap space, on Friday as he watched players dig their own graves.
This is always a difficult decision, but weve got to make some cuts and look to the future, Belichick said while over a dozen dirt-covered Patriots veterans, including wide receiver Nelson Agholor, tight end Jonnu Smith, quarterback Brian Hoyer, and guard Shaq Mason stood waist-deep in holes theyd been digging for hours.
This is whats best for the team. Weve got to get younger, and that means freeing up some roster spots. We dont have room for all of youcmon, Kendrick [Bourne], keep digging!and so your time here must come to an end. We thank you for your hard work as a member of the Patriots family, and we wish you the best of luck down there.
At press time, a satisfied Belichick had reportedly returned to the bowels of Gillette Stadium, where he began asking several high-profile Patriots free agents chained to a radiator what it was going to take to get them to return on team-friendly contracts.
https://www.theonion.com/let-s-clear-some-cap-space-says-stone-faced-bill-bel-1848424486