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Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:44 PM

My brother was found dead yesterday

I was out of town, and just about to jump in the car to begin a long drive home, when I got the call.

He was 74 and lived alone, and he'd apparently had been dead at least several days. His ex found him while on the phone with me, asking if I'd heard from him.

I'd talked to him about two weeks prior, but I should have known something was up when he didn't call on my birthday. The alarm just didn't ring...

Not much of the family left now, parents long gone, both brothers gone. Just some elderly 1st cousins and a few nieces and nephews.

I keep having the feeling that I should call him and tell him about this, 'cause that's what I do when someone in the family dies...

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Reply My brother was found dead yesterday (Original post)
CanonRay Aug 2022 OP
regnaD kciN Aug 2022 #1
IrishAfricanAmerican Aug 2022 #2
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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:48 PM

1. So sorry

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:48 PM

2. Condolences on your loss.

Man, that's a tough way to find out.




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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:49 PM

3. Such a poignant subject line. I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think the message for the rest of us may be to call those for whom this scenario may resonate--this weekend without fail. I can assure you that I will. May your brother be at peace and may you soon be able to remember first only the good memories.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:50 PM

4. It is hard losing a sibling.

I am sorry. I hope you got home or are getting there safely.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:54 PM

5. I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the realization that you do not have much

family left. That is my situation also. No one prepares us for this.

My prayers are with you.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:54 PM

6. ❤️

Very sorry for your loss

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:58 PM

7. Oh, so sorry, CanonRay.

Such a very sad shock.
Wishing you comfort as you deal with this great loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:58 PM

8. My sympathy on the loss of your brother. May the good memories you

hold and the stories you tell always comfort you .

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Response to livetohike (Reply #8)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:24 PM

42. Likewise here, my deepest sympathies

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 01:59 PM

9. So sorry.....and it's so sad to lose a sibling. Two of my favs are gone, both died of melanoma cancer

And so sorry to even mention this, but they were both my favorites of six of us. Just always makes me sad when I read siblings die. ♥️.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:09 PM

10. Sorry for your loss

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:09 PM

11. I'm so terribly sorry, CanonRay

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:15 PM

12. I'm sorry for your loss

As my family is dwindling too, I feel for you.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:15 PM

13. I'm so sorry

Losing a family member is harder when you donít get to say goodbye.
My deepest condolences to you and your remaining family.
Getting older really sucks a lot.
💔

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:16 PM

14. My condolences.

Having lost two siblings already, I can say it's a tough transition.

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Response to 2naSalit (Reply #14)


Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:20 PM

16. Sending ❤️❤️❤️

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:23 PM

17. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:23 PM

18. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and the sad circumstances.

I can relate to the momentary impulse to call someone, only to realize abruptly that it is no longer possible. Be gentle with yourself at this difficult time.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:30 PM

19. I'm sorry for your loss, and the sad circumstances.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:32 PM

20. I am so so sorry

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:33 PM

21. Soooo sorry

I'm not sure what I'll do if siblings die. its gotta be a tough one.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:35 PM

22. Very sorry for your loss

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:35 PM

23. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love and hugs to you.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:36 PM

24. Such a shock to happen this way

and don't beat yourself up that the penny didn't drop on your birthday, likely there was nothing you could have done by then.

It's tough to look around and realize you're "it," there's nobody else left.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:42 PM

25. Condolences!!

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:43 PM

26. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your brother.

As someone who only has one family member left, I think I know a little of what this feels like. Be kind to yourself during what I know are difficult days.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:43 PM

27. Sorry for your loss

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:47 PM

28. So very sorry for the loss of your Brother CanonRay. 🙏

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:49 PM

29. Sincere condolences

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 02:50 PM

30. Deepest condolences

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:01 PM

31. I am sorry hear that Ray.

Please accept my condolences, empty though they may sound.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:02 PM

32. Very sorry for your loss

Iíve lost both my brothers, so I feel you pain. Hope you can find someone to provide comfort.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:04 PM

33. So sorry.

You have my deepest sympathy.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:08 PM

34. So sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:09 PM

35. Condolences to you. nt

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:13 PM

36. Very sorry to hear. I can relate. Feels like a big hole in our lives. Hang in there.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:13 PM

37. ...

🕯

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:15 PM

38. Oh gosh, sorry for your loss, CanonRay

I still come across things where I think, "I should call Mom and tell her about this." But my mother passed away in 2018.

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Response to nuxvomica (Reply #38)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:20 PM

40. Exactly!

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Response to nuxvomica (Reply #38)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 09:00 AM

108. Same here.

Iím so sorry for your loss. Itís never easy.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:18 PM

39. I'm so sorry for your loss

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:22 PM

41. I'm so very sorry.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:25 PM

43. very sorry to hear of your loss...

time is the healer. take care of yourself.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:26 PM

44. I'm so sorry for your loss. nt

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:26 PM

45. Deepest condolences.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:31 PM

46. So very sorry to hear this

Sorry

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:31 PM

47. I'm so sorry, and I'm saddened that it took a few days for

him to be found. That feeling when you almost pick up the phone to call is a like walking into a break wall. Hugs to you.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:36 PM

48. I'm sorry for your loss

I wish you peace.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:46 PM

49. RIP

So sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:48 PM

50. We lost one of my in-laws in similar fashion.

So I know something of what you must be going through. This is a tough one. Sorry to hear of your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:49 PM

51. I'm so sorry, Ray.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:50 PM

52. I am

So sorry

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:51 PM

53. Oh my. That is so sad.

We kind of have our people that are older under "watch" as it were.

MIL and FIL are at assisted living and get checked on multiple times daily and FIL sister has my niece staying with her or my sister because she broke her femur and didn't want to go to transition care.

But we've still had close calls where we weren't sure what was going on.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:51 PM

54. My condolences

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:52 PM

55. ❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 03:59 PM

56. So very sorry for you loss

That is terrible... rip to your brother

I have had two great losses also in a few months, first my father and then last week my neighbor and close friend of 94.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:00 PM

57. Hang in there and know you are among dear friends here.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:09 PM

58. So sorry.



I always wished for a brother. Treasure your memories.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:09 PM

59. Sending my virtual condolences. It's so hard to lose our family members.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:13 PM

60. Such sad news

And a sad way to find out.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:15 PM

61. So sorry for your loss nt

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)


Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:23 PM

63. Very sorry

My condolences for you and others close to him.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:24 PM

64. My sincere condolences.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:34 PM

65. I'm so sorry, CanonRay.

That must have been a terrible shock. To have lost your parents and siblings must leave you feeling terribly alone. We are always here if you need to talk through your grief and feelings.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:36 PM

66. so sorry about your brother, sorry about your loss,

thinking of you, CanonRay.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:41 PM

67. Ah man.

Iím so sorry. May your brother rest in peace.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:42 PM

68. I am so sorry.. you can still write him a letter, might help a little.

(((hugs)))

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:45 PM

69. Condolences.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:46 PM

70. So sorry for your loss

It seems that because of the pandemic people donít keep as much in touch as before. Hopefully he is at peace.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 04:46 PM

71. Peace

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 05:01 PM

72. Your trip home alone must have been difficult, this time. Best wishes every moment as you recover.

So many people will be thinking about you with concern and respect.

So sorry you have encountered this deep sadness. Time will help the healing.

❤️️

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 05:05 PM

73. I'm so sorry.


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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 05:22 PM

74. I am so sorry.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 05:26 PM

75. I'm so so sorry

Especially for the awful circumstances. My condolences.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 05:27 PM

76. It leaves a weird feeling that will last for a while but gets easier

I remember when my father died, strange things happened around the house for a while. It was like he was coming back to say goodbye. Nothing spooky, just weird like my watch making noises, or creaks in the house that weren't normal. They stopped after a few days, but it makes you say "hmmmm".

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 05:37 PM

77. I wish I could make it better somehow

I can't but I wish I could. I'm sorry for your loss seems so cliche

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 05:37 PM

78. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:02 PM

79. So sorry for your loss

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:02 PM

80. Condolences on the loss of your brother, CanonRay.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:21 PM

81. we are here for you CanonRay

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:22 PM

82. Please accept my condolences. n/t

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:26 PM

83. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. A sibling is a link to your own deepest past...



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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:31 PM

84. Oh how sad. My deepest condolences.

Losing a sibling is hard.



Lost my own brother in January.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:37 PM

85. I'm right there with ya, CanonRay..

Lost my only sister last year at the age of 77. We used to call each other to compare news and thoughts.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 06:38 PM

86. I'm very sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 07:38 PM

87. Well, this is turning to a nightmare

My poor brother was dead a week, at least. As a result the house, which wasn't in great shape anyway, is now a hazmat site. We can't even go in to go through his papers until we have it cleaned, so Servpro. We have no wallet, no idea where his life or home owners insurance was with. No idea if he had a will, or where it is. He had a 401k but who knows where. He had two wondwrful kids, but they are a few years out of college and broke, of course. Sigh....

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Response to CanonRay (Reply #87)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 07:43 PM

89. {{{{{{{CanonRay}}}}}}} I'm so sorry you're dealing with that

nightmare on top of the pain of losing him so suddenly.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 07:42 PM

88. So sorry

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 08:18 PM

90. Very sorry to hear. All my sympathies.

I find myself thinking about the people in my life who are gone now. Both sets of parents, two uncles and several aunts, sister-in-law and niece, at least two old flames (that I know of), at least a few high school classmates, and a slew of former coworkers.

Others - I wonder where they are and/or what happened to them, whether they're happy wherever they are, and - gotta be honest - whether they remember me.

I guess when we get older, we start thinking about that stuff.

My sincere condolences, CanonRay. I'm glad you posted about it here. That's one of the really great and reaffirming things about this board. You'll have a bunch of us thinking about you and sending thoughts of care and support. Nobody should mourn alone.

Don't forget what our own DUer Skittles once reminded: "someone's always here."

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 08:23 PM

91. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 08:58 PM

92. I'm So Sorry!💕🤷‍♂️

I know how you feel, CR.. my sister passed shockingly unexpectedly the day after Christmas in 2019

And I kept wanting to call her and tell what all was going on! We talked on the phone almost everyday sometimes.

She was in San Diego and I'm on Kauai.. she was also my best friend.

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Response to Cha (Reply #92)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 09:02 PM

94. Cha...

My heart to yours, still and always.

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Response to herding cats (Reply #94)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 02:17 PM

116. Aww.. Sweet Cat..💕🤷‍♂️

Mahalo for being there for my voice in the wilderness .. words cannot express how much it's meant to me through the years now.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 09:00 PM

93. I'm am so very sorry.

A shock of a loss like this makes it all the worse for those of us left behind. I deeply understand how that feels. When they're there and you assume you're both going be there still tomorrow, next week or next month.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 09:32 PM

95. I'm so sorry for your loss

Truly, I am sorry.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 09:44 PM

96. So sorry to hear of this.

Please know there are people here to talk to if you need an ear. I've lost both parents in the past 2-1/2 years and it can really rock your world.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 09:46 PM

97. I am so sorry.

My brother was found dead three or four days after he died by a friend who went to his home every week to help him out with shopping, medicine, and the like.

He'd been in declining health for a number of years.

I understand what you are going through.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 10:26 PM

98. My condolances

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 10:53 PM

99. So very sorry, CanonRay!

When you said you kept feeling like you needed to call him to let him know about the death in the family, it was a gut punch.

The family dynamic has forever changed now, but the habits of heart, mind, and body go on.



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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Fri Aug 26, 2022, 11:01 PM

100. I'm very sorry for your loss

What a shock. May he R.I.P.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 12:03 AM

101. CanonRay...........

I'm so sorry....

R.I.P.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 02:29 AM

102. My deepest condolences on your loss. (eom)

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 02:40 AM

103. I am so very sorry

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 04:16 AM

104. I am so sorry

(((((HUGS)))))

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 04:23 AM

105. So sorry to hear this. One of my biggest fears is that I'll be sick or dead, and no one...

will know for days. Take care of yourself.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 07:30 AM

106. I'm sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 08:44 AM

107. So sorry for your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 09:19 AM

109. I'm so sorry for your loss. (n/t)

.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 10:30 AM

110. My sympathies on your loss.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 11:32 AM

111. I'm very sorry, CanonRay.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 12:32 PM

112. Deepest sympathy



Very sorry for your loss.



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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 01:12 PM

113. I'm so sorry to hear this

All I have of my family are my brother and sister and their spouses. I have a few cousins somewhere I haven't seen for decades. They'd be like strangers if I met them.

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing one of my siblings is too depressing to think about.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 01:17 PM

114. I am truly sorry to read about this loss....my sincerest condolences .....

I lost my younger brother last year (heart attack) he was and will always will be our "Cheezy" ....

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 01:29 PM

115. I'm so sorry...


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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sat Aug 27, 2022, 03:32 PM

117. How sad for you. My thoughts are with you. nt

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sun Aug 28, 2022, 02:51 AM

118. Terrible. So sorry to hear. Stay strong (and grieve, too)

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sun Aug 28, 2022, 08:25 AM

119. My condolences for your loss, CanonRay.

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Response to CanonRay (Original post)

Sun Aug 28, 2022, 09:27 AM

120. I'm sorry you lost your brother. That must have been a shock, to realize he was gone.

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