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Sat Dec 31, 2022, 10:26 AM

kairos12 (12,495 posts)

Once upon a time a man was tired of the fast pace of modern life and

decided to enter a monastery to gain inner peace. To become a member of this monastery though there was a requirement he could only speak 2 words every 10 years. The first 10 years goes by and he stands up at the communal dinner and says, " Bed hard."

Another 10 years goes by and he stands up and says, "Food bad."

Finally, after another 10 years goes by he stands up and says, "I quit."

The leader of the monastery immediately stands up and says, "I'm not surprised, you've done nothing but complain since you got here."

Happy New Year DUers.

19 replies, 6557 views

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19 replies	Author	Time	Post
Once upon a time a man was tired of the fast pace of modern life and (Original post)	kairos12	Dec 2022	OP
And to you!	niyad	Dec 2022	#1
I like the one that went:	jaxexpat	Dec 2022	#2
Very wise. Thanks.	kairos12	Dec 2022	#3
That's a good one, too. Thanks. Needed a laugh. Be happy and healthy all next year	judesedit	Dec 2022	#5
+1	appalachiablue	Dec 2022	#10
Lol. Thanks. A blessed 2023 to you, too.	judesedit	Dec 2022	#4
ROFL	Joinfortmill	Dec 2022	#6
And a Happy New Year to you!	BobTheSubgenius	Dec 2022	#7
Back atcha, my friend!	calimary	Dec 2022	#8
One of my favorites!	Marthe48	Dec 2022	#9
Cute!	Easterncedar	Dec 2022	#13
Sounds like time to leave the church	SouthernDem4ever	Jan 2023	#18
lol	Marthe48	Jan 2023	#19
It all depends on if you're living in	Mme. Defarge	Dec 2022	#11
Can't stop laughing!🤣	madashelltoo	Dec 2022	#12
Obviously the leader of the monastery didn't feel it was necessary to follow the rules.	patphil	Dec 2022	#14
One of my buds told me this one recently:	sprinkleeninow	Jan 2023	#15
What did the two "Dead Heads" say when they ran out of pot??	SKKY	Jan 2023	#16
LOL! Happy new year DU!	burrowowl	Jan 2023	#17

Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 10:55 AM

niyad (105,782 posts)

1. And to you!

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 11:03 AM

jaxexpat (5,992 posts)

2. I like the one that went:

A guy wanted to talk to God, so he meditated for decades.
He finally spoke to God and God said, "stop meditating, live."

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Response to jaxexpat (Reply #2)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 11:07 AM

kairos12 (12,495 posts)

3. Very wise. Thanks.

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Response to jaxexpat (Reply #2)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 11:23 AM

judesedit (4,352 posts)

5. That's a good one, too. Thanks. Needed a laugh. Be happy and healthy all next year

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Response to jaxexpat (Reply #2)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 12:49 PM

appalachiablue (39,506 posts)

10. +1

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 11:21 AM

judesedit (4,352 posts)

4. Lol. Thanks. A blessed 2023 to you, too.

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 11:52 AM

Joinfortmill (12,902 posts)

6. ROFL

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 12:13 PM

BobTheSubgenius (11,437 posts)

7. And a Happy New Year to you!

Thanks for the funny - a bright spot in an early grey and damp morning.

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 12:33 PM

calimary (78,105 posts)

8. Back atcha, my friend!

Happy New Year, DU!

Love you, DU!

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 12:46 PM

Marthe48 (14,655 posts)

9. One of my favorites!

Here's one for you:

Near a small village in Ireland, a young man was playing golf. He hit a ball into the rough, and went looking for it. When he found it, he saw he had knocked out a leprechaun. He tended to the injury, and made sure the leprechaun came to, was going to be okay, and then left him to get back to his game. The leprechaun was astonished that the man was so kind and selfless and decided to reward him with some magical gifts. The leprechaun bestowed upon the young man a stunning ability to play golf, and enough money any time he wanted to buy something, and beautiful women falling at his feet. A few months later, the leprechaun happened to see the young man on the links, and wanted to see if he had noticed the changes in his life, and approached him. After thanking the young man for his help, the leprechaun asked him, "Well, young lad, how's your golf game since we last met?" And the young man replied that every time he played, he came in under par for the course. Then the leprechaun asked him if he could buy what he wanted, whenever he wanted. The young man said he had noticed he always had exactly the right amount of money to buy a cup of tea, or the paper, or greens fees. The leprechaun was really happy his charms had worked. After a little casual conversation, the leprechaun asked the young man if we was having better luck with the ladies. The young man blushed and stammered a bit, and admitted he hadn't noticed. The leprechaun was disappointed, and asked the young man if he was sure there hand't been a change with the ladies, and the young man said, "No sir. But I am the village priest."

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #9)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 06:40 PM

Easterncedar (1,499 posts)

13. Cute!

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #9)

Sun Jan 1, 2023, 10:23 AM

SouthernDem4ever (4,519 posts)

18. Sounds like time to leave the church

and explore his leprechaun side lol

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Response to SouthernDem4ever (Reply #18)

Sun Jan 1, 2023, 10:26 AM

Marthe48 (14,655 posts)

19. lol

Explore the magic!

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 12:53 PM

Mme. Defarge (7,846 posts)

11. It all depends on if you're living in

chronological time / chronos, or καιρός.

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 12:54 PM

madashelltoo (1,632 posts)

12. Can't stop laughing!🤣

Happy and Blessed New Year to you and all of the DU!

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2022, 08:35 PM

patphil (5,219 posts)

14. Obviously the leader of the monastery didn't feel it was necessary to follow the rules.

Or was he above the law?
I'll bet he was a Republican.

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sun Jan 1, 2023, 12:20 AM

sprinkleeninow (19,572 posts)

15. One of my buds told me this one recently:

A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...
"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sun Jan 1, 2023, 01:26 AM

SKKY (11,435 posts)

16. What did the two "Dead Heads" say when they ran out of pot??

Dude, this band sucks!

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Sun Jan 1, 2023, 02:02 AM

burrowowl (17,254 posts)

17. LOL! Happy new year DU!

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