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masmdu

(2,535 posts)
Sun Mar 12, 2023, 10:24 PM Mar 2023

Lost a friend this weekend

The last time I saw Mark was about a year and a half ago. We hadn't been keeping up for a while as he went through a divorce.
He was with his ex and his kids and me with my family as we ran into each other at a local ice cream shop. I was happy to see him and he was happy to see me. We gave each other a warm hug, laughed a bit and then moved on.

This weekend I learned of his death from alcoholism. I am so sad. I am angry that I let our friendship slide to the point of not even knowing Mark was in pain and needed help.

I wish Mark was still here and that I had been a better friend. I would love to be able to share another hug with him.

11 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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debm55

(23,584 posts)
1. masmdu, I am sorry for your friend, his family and you. You do have your memories of him. May they
Sun Mar 12, 2023, 10:29 PM
Mar 2023

be a blessing to you as you remember him. May Mark rest in peace.

Enter stage left

(3,389 posts)
5. I know how you feel...
Sun Mar 12, 2023, 10:53 PM
Mar 2023

3 years ago last month I lost a dear friend who I had worked with over 35 years ago. He had moved away to S Cal & we had lost touch.

I was a Realtor in SLC when he moved back there and went to work for the same great guy we had worked for before. Imagine my surprise when I went back to see Mike, and Greg (my friend from 20 years ago at that time) was there.

We bonded again immediately. We had the same interest in cars and music even after 20 years. He had married a wonderful woman after divorcing a shrew, and she and my wife found common ground almost immediately.

When Greg retired he and his wife moved to Boulder City, NV because he loved large bodies of water and could see Lake Mead from his condo balcony. When we retired, we sold everything and started full-time RV-ing. Boulder City and S. Nevada were some of our favorite spots to spend time, so whenever we were there we met with Greg & his wife and really enjoyed the time together. Unfortunately, his wife died of kidney complications and Greg started drinking himself to death.

We were in Boulder City about 2 months after Greg had called me about his wife and I called him. He said he couldn't drive in the condition he was in, and I went to see him in his condo. He was happy to see me, we talked for about 45 minutes, and he passed out. He had hospice there and I gave her my number. She called 1 hour later saying he had died.

P.S. we're in Boulder City right now. I still miss Greg.

One of the best 45 minutes I've ever spent.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it really hits home.

Rhiannon12866

(203,041 posts)
7. I am so very sorry, it hurts terribly to lose a friend.
Sun Mar 12, 2023, 11:56 PM
Mar 2023

I've been in AA for almost 15 years and have been to more wakes/funerals than I can count. Too few people realize that addiction to alcohol can kill - it's not just drugs. My heart goes out to both you and his family.

LoisB

(7,079 posts)
8. I am very sorry for the loss of your friend Mark. Life happens and we lose touch with friends
Mon Mar 13, 2023, 12:43 AM
Mar 2023

and family members but the fact that you wish you had been a better friend, to me means you were a good friend otherwise you would just say "so sad" and move on. Don't beat yourself up. I know, I have been there and said "I wish I had been a better friend" more than once.

niyad

(112,438 posts)
9. So very sorry for the loss of your friend. How utterly sad that he could not
Mon Mar 13, 2023, 12:48 AM
Mar 2023

reach out to you. Please know that your DU family is here for you.

LuckyCharms

(17,287 posts)
10. You could not have helped Mark with his alcoholism.
Mon Mar 13, 2023, 07:06 AM
Mar 2023

So please don't beat yourself up.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

masmdu

(2,535 posts)
11. Thank you all for your kind words and thoughtful comments...
Mon Mar 13, 2023, 01:29 PM
Mar 2023

It helps. I appreciate that I have a place like DU to reach out to.

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