I have been reprimanded for "swearing" too much at work.

[LeftinOH]

This is an office environment in which my voice is not audible to the occasional customer on anyone else's phone. But with multiple computer applications and not-infrequent system glitches to deal with, I am wont to utter the occasional "crap", "dammit", "shit", or "fudge" (literally, I say "fudge", not "fuck&quot . I never use f-bombs or sex-related words.

Apparently histrionic fits of coughing and sneezing, and loud fits of laughing are perfectly OK.

Please help me find some appropriate "expletives" to vent my frustrations.

[rug]

1. Egad!

[whistler162]

2. Well there is....

shazbat or blatheringblatherskite, but you might turn into a duck in a supersuit with that one.

You could yell ryan but that would probably get you fired for uttering a really nasty 4 letter word!

[Angry Dragon]

3. MITT

[whistler162]

5. Like yelling RYAN that would problably get the OP

fired for uttering a really vial four letter word.

[LiberalFighter]

35. Don't you mean mittwit?

[Angry Dragon]

38. Mitt and Ryan are four letter swear words

[HereSince1628]

4. I recommend staying away from "oops!" or things that sound similar

such throaty utterances suggest personal mistakes.

Management and your team won't accept you making regular mistakes.

[hobbit709]

6. Learn to cuss in Russian.

Dermo is a useful word.

[HereSince1628]

29. Yeb Voss!

[Art_from_Ark]

34. Or Boris Badenov's trademark swear word

Raskolnikov!

[MiddleFingerMom]

7. Believe it or not, I don't like swearing at work at all.

.
.
.
I dislike hearing it as a customer... and I dislike it in or at ANYWHERE that
people more or less have to be -- like work or commuting on the bus.
.
.
.
I was in a grocery store several days ago and saw/heard what looked to
be about a 12-year-old shopping with her mother calmly saying "It's NOT
fucking two dollars, it's fucking $1.25."
.
.
.
Give up much, Mom?
.
.
.

[ohiosmith]

9. Agreed. I always had a zero tolerance policy when it came to profanity in the workplace.

No so much at home.

[Major Nikon]

32. We cuss like sailors where I work

This includes the women and the men. We don't deal with customers directly.

[7wo7rees]

39. Same here

Where I work, triple X is rated R.

We have music blaring: "F that! F that!" by Kid Cudi.



My co-workers are always swearing, even tho we are all on the phone with customers.

Customers don't hear much, because of ambient noise dampeners in the headsets, but the music is not the only exposure to F-bombs we get. The bosses are real sharp in not dropping it, but the employees are straight sailors.

[benld74]

8. Monkey vomit!

[hay rick]

10. Shoot.

Substitute for shit obviously. Encountered this a lot while living in West Virginia, many years ago.

[sharp_stick]

11. Kind of out of left field

wrt your original post but when I was in college I used to work as a drywaller during the summers. Over that three month period I would always pick up the most colorful vocabulary that was pretty much standard when some dummy dropped a sheet on your toe or when you managed to cut a sheet the wrong way.

I had to be very careful when I got back to school. One year I was in a chem lab first week or two back and I screwed something up. I didn't even realize what I said but according to others in the room it was a pretty epic condemnation of chemists and chemistry through history.

[sendero]

45. You know..

... sans examples your post is REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING

[Downwinder]

12. I used "Bush" and "Son of a Bush" for a number of years.

It is four letter and fits in various applications. Could probably try "Mitt" but it does not have that ring to it.

[blueamy66]

13. That's funny, cause I just had a job interview and

the owner of the company that interviewed me said fuck 3 times, flipped the bird, said shit a few times, damn, etc.

I love this company!!!!!

[Ikonoklast]

14. Your employer is a fifteen year old?

[blueamy66]

25. Not my employer yet....just an interview

Sorry, but I swear like a sailor and felt comfortable with her.

She's down to earth, doesn't seem to be fake and says what she wants to.

Heck, I'd love to work for her.

Couldn't be too bad, ya know? With that huge rock on her finger and the Mercedes shes drives.....

[Ikonoklast]

26. I'd run from that one just as fast as I could, just my own opinion, mind you.

I am not impressed by displays of wealth by anyone.

Even less so by a potential employer.

To me, that would be a giant red flag.

[geardaddy]

15. Say, "oh dear!" like an old lady.

See how long they'll tolerate that.

[MrsBrady]

16. I use

Jiminy Cricket

I work with kids...and this is my go to word now inside and outside the class room.

I can't slip up at work. Not allowed. So I say it all the time now.


on edit: cheese and crackers! works well too.

[sakabatou]

17. Every time you wanna swear, use "kuso."

Dunno if anyone at work knows Japanese.

[davsand]

18. Oh my stars and garters!

Works for my 82 year old mom for most things...



Laura

[MiddleFingerMom]

19. Another exception is any of the branches of service, though after being...

.
.
.
... overseas mainly in the company of other men, we were all genuinely concerned
that we were going to go home to our families and unthinkingly ask Grandma to
pass the fucking butter.
.
.
.
Serious concern.
.
.
.

[OriginalGeek]

20. When I was in my early twenties (The late 80s)

I worked at a boat manufacturer installing furniture and appliances into the shells of small luxury yachts...My station was at the back of the line where I was pretty much by myself as I operated a large crane to get the heads and other cabinetry placed into the hull and we really only needed me.

Banging and hammering and smashing where pretty ordinary and a lot of times it was my fingers and toes getting smashed and one time I let loose a loooooooooooong OWWWWGODDAMMITSONOFAFUCKINGBITCHMOTHERFUCKERFUCKFUCKFUCK....after a pretty good smack to my hand.

About the time I finished I looked up from the bottom of the hull to see the president of the company's wife and 3 or 4 of her garden club/ladies auxilliary/whatever they were friends up on the catwalk that ran along my line. They had their mouths open in shock and she got a very stern expression on her face and they stomped off to the next station on the line without even acknowledging my feeble apologies...

I immediately went to the building supervisor and told him I think I might have a problem and explained what happened. He thought for second and said "Well goddamn, if she didn't wanna fucking hear language like that she shoulda given us a fucking warning she would be strolling through..this is a goddamn manufacturing line!...How's your hand?"

My hand was alright and so was I. But I never saw her near my line again.

[pipi_k]

27. hahahaha! great story! n/t

[wendylaroux]

21. "Ohh Fiddle Sticks!"

that's what granny always said,you could tell she meant something else though.:chuckle

Or use Gus Chiggens words=="Ahhh Biscuits and Gravy!"

[pokerfan]

22. There's a South Park for this

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

23. Oh, codswallop!

No clue what it means, but it sounds good.

[Iggo]

42. I always assumed it meant a kick in the dick.

Like getting walloped in the cod(piece).

[HopeHoops]

24. Fuck that shit.

[MicaelS]

28. Just keep saying "George Carlin" over and over

You know the seven words you can't say on television?

[undeterred]

30. Your computer is totally "horked up".

The "friggin" operating system is 12 years old.

That whole project turned into a "dustercluck".

Once you start substituting you get used to it...

[TwilightGardener]

31. D'oh! Always worked for me.

(and Homer)

[noamnety]

33. "Awesome" works for me.

The cursing is implied if it's said with enough sarcasm.

[LiberalFighter]

36. Make up your own words.

I use sheda.

Sometimes dinwad. That probably wouldn't fly as well.

Or you could do some humming or non word vocals to settle yourself down or even anytime you want to feel better.

[tanyev]

37. Learn some curse words in a different language.

Most good 'Murrkans will never know.

[fbguy_144]

40. soot?

[Iggo]

41. Sacre bleu! Zounds! God's wounds!

Heavens to Murgatroid! Caca!

And my personal fave: What the deuce?!?!?

Also, "deuced" (pronounced "dew-sed&quot can also be used in place of danged or damned. As in "Which one of you pen stealers stole my deuced pen?"

[a kennedy]

43. my favorite now is rats!!

Was my sisters favorite, she passed away of melanoma cancer 2 years ago, so in memory of her, it is now my favorite.

[AsahinaKimi]

44. You could swear in another language..

Find an obscure language.. (I would stay away from French, Spanish, Chinese) ...though it might be fun to swear in Chinese! Maybe Greek, or Ethiopian !

[AnneD]

46. One reason I liked the series Firefly....

they swore in Chinese. It is hysterical.

[Mopar151]

47. Channel the Stooges

Settle down, you! OOOOHH! Wiseguy!!!