DU posts from 2035

[ThoughtCriminal]

Why do people put &quot dial-up warning)" in the subject header of LOL-BORG posts? What does that mean?

FR has been sold again? Is it still a porn portal?

If you were cloned on the Moon, can you run for POTUS? What percent of DNA has to be Human-American?

Khan Noonien Singh dominates GOP Iowa debates.

15-year old becomes first person to reach North-Pole in sail boat.

[nolabear]

1. Here's a cute kitteh doing something cute!

SOSO.

[HappyMe]

2. I'm STILL offended!

[Scuba]

3. I can't believe we have another mass shooting. Will we ever get sane gun control?

[NightWatcher]

4. Look at all those idiots who lined up for the new iPhone 19

what a bunch of sheep
what's a sheep

[HopeHoops]

5. Believe it or not, a lot of members still use 96K modems - yes, "dial-up warning" is important.

[Auggie]

6. Anyone here remember the Republican Party?

[HappyMe]

7. Why haven't we bombed the moon yet?

Remember when we had to wear those silly clothes?

[GoneOffShore]

8. Relig-ion? Is that some kind of sub-atomic particle?

[zbdent]

9. Breaking News - Mitt Romney announces another presidential bid ...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. ~

[AverageJoe90]

11. I got some.

Major breakthroughs made in climate change research!

Who still remembers the GOP from when it was a decent party and not full of crooks, nutjobs and weirdos?

American entrepreneur begins his own efforts to help repair the climate: Already promising!

Israeli-Palestinian peace march today:

Did you ever visit China before the "Great Implosion" of that country?

Saudi Arabia still in chaos, says British Ambassador.

Some climate change issues may be largely repaired by 2100 if mitigation efforts continue, IPCC states.

Ice-Cap may not fully recover for 350 years or so, but there is hope, says NOAA

Tornado hits New Delhi, killing 200(Why are there so many twisters in India these days?).

Former President Obama to speak at Memphis convention.

15th anniversary of hemp oil being legalized by Pres. Gillibrand is coming up: How this revolutionary fuel not only helped lessen climate change, but saved many a classic car across the Continent.

92% of Jewish-Americans and 88% of African-Americans support gay marriage, says Gallup poll.

America is on the better path, and what we can do to make sure it stays that way.

Been 25 years since I discovered DU: I love you guys.

[sakabatou]

12. 25 years?

DU is only... 12 years old.

[AverageJoe90]

13. I think you might have misunderstood something.

Well, DU was founded in 2000, and this takes place in 2035, right? I first discovered this site in 2010 so it'd be the 25th year that I really knew about this place.

[sakabatou]

14. *facepalm*

[Odin2005]

15. "I think some of these spam-bots can pass the Turing test."

[AverageJoe90]

17. Here's a few more:

"What will you do for DU's 35th anniversary next year?"

"Gallup: Texas Governor Castro likely to win 4th term in office, Credited with turning state around after disastrous George P. Bush governorship"

"President Chelsea Clinton considering 2nd term, said to be in the mold of dad Bill, Barack Obama, and JFK."

"Former Rhode Island governor Lincoln Chafee voted 'Nicest Republican Ever' in Gallup poll, Charlie Crist a close second."

"Hurricanes Somewhat Weaker but More Numerous in Southern North Atlantic, says NOAA"

"Significant decrease in violent tornadoes south of the 37th parallel since 2015, but now more numerous in the Front Ranges, National Weather Service Research indicates"

"Winter of 2030-31 officially the worst on record in Penn., Oh., and Indiana, says NWS: Similar Conditions May Occur in Northern Plains this year as well?"

"Record high September temperatures in New England: 91 degrees in Boston today, says NOAA"

"UK Prime Minister: BNP Violence against Jewish & Muslim persons remains a problem."

"San Francisco Bay Jews and Muslims gather in large 'Peace Groups' all across the area: 1 mill. Participants and counting."

[sakabatou]

16. First human Mars landing a success

[AverageJoe90]

18. Let me expand, if nobody minds:

"Successful Mars landing: the U.S., Russia, Israel, the Popular Republic of Iran, France, New Zealand, South Africa, Brazil, Canada, India, and Argentina amongst the countries represented."

[sakabatou]

23. 10 people on a single mission at one time for a landing?

[Bucky]

30. People? In a rocket? Are you nuts?

Obviously these were AIs. Sadly the American sim-person didn't survive, as his solar batteries ran down quickly and couldn't be recharged. Apparently his specs were not properly converted to the metric system.

[sakabatou]

35. Unfortunate. But I do remember the metric-imperial gaffe NASA had

[baldguy]

19. I'm leaving DU...Let me tell you why!

[hunter]

20. LBN: Canadian border fences extended. Alaska transit permits denied.

GD: Canadian border towns struggle with undocumented U.S. immigrants.

GD: "There's no work for you here," Canadian Prime Minister says.

GD: Fox News reports the chocolate ration will not be reduced.

A DU'er posts:

Chocolate??? Has anyone even seen any chocolate lately???

[hifiguy]

21. Now that Voldemort's back....

what are his odds on getting the Repuke nomination?

Statue of Elvis actually found on Moon!

[geardaddy]

22. Walt Disney successfully reanimated

and is chosen by Ronald Reagan's clone as running mate.

[KamaAina]

24. KamaAina finally has a date!

[sakabatou]

25. Happy 48th birthday Sakabatou!

[TexasTowelie]

26. 70 year old stoner wonders when weed will be legal?

The drug war still continues.

[deutsey]

27. Call the Inter-Planetary Congress right fucking NOW!!!!

[ThoughtCriminal]

28. Alien Overlords Vaporize Congress

Spare grovelling network anchors.

[UrbScotty]

29. Sen. Malia Obama should definitely run for President next year!

[trof]

31. Nevada oceanfront property at premium prices.

Flash: Buy your own California mountaintop island.

[Bucky]

32. Breaking news! Clinton Eastwood's gonna keynote next year's GOP3.0 convention.

Like, totally, flarf! He totally like sabotaged the '28 convention with his rant about President Lauper's skirt lengths. Dude, if you can't handle a post-op trannie turned cross-dresser rocking a little taffeta at an official state tanning session with the King of Western Venezuela, why don't you just move back to Dixie where you belong? Now they're bringing him back for another keynote? Jeeze, they must really need the ad revenues.

I hear only 16 networks plan to even etherstream their convention next year. Third party movements never work out. But at least they'll peel off enough votes from the Libs to ensure another four years for Bieber.

[AverageJoe90]

41. PM Bieber? Oh dear God, the horror, the horror......

Nah. just joking.

[Liberalynn]

33. President Chelsea Clinton

popularity remains high.

[Paulie]

34. Good nuke

Another broadcast TV spammer

[KurtNYC]

36. I just watched "The Road Warrior" on Sony Brainwave Z-Box and it's

hard to believe the director was not psychic. Move over Orwell.

Nice post Hitler's clone!

Get a semi-organic brain replacement Morans !!111!!

[47of74]

37. After using every other cat species known to exist....

...Apple finally runs out of cat names and is forced to use this for their new version of OS X

[Duer 157099]

38. I hear there are still people holding out at DU5, can you believe it?

Will Skinner ever shut that place down?

[Duer 157099]

39. ****TAKES OUT THE PLASMA-LASER STAPLER GUN AND POSTS THIS TO THE LOUNGE WALL*******

(i got nuthin)

[Duer 157099]

40. How many fuckin hearts are they gonna give Cheney anyway?

What's it been like, a couple dozen by now? Sheesh!

[Bucky]

43. I asked Secretary of Healthcare and Vivisection Palin

"All of them"

[Rhiannon12866]

42. Election Results Hinge on Absentee Ballots from Gingrich Memorial Lunar Colony

[begin_within]

44. Last drop of oil extracted from Iraq, last troop comes home

[begin_within]

45. Are you still sore at Nader? (Poll)

[begin_within]

46. Waves batter Cheney's oceanfront Wyoming mansion

[begin_within]

47. Constitutional amendment protects same-sex marriage

[begin_within]

48. Keith Richards now last surviving Rolling Stone

[progressoid]

49. Woman breast feeds GMO pit bull milk to her toddler at the Olive Garden at the end of the Universe.