Because Humanity Needs The Assistance, It's Time For Another Edition Of ASK MRSCORPIO

[MrScorpio]

Your worrisome problems, solved. Your most bothersome questions, answered. Your deepest fears, sliced by my sharp wit and keen wisdom, like a parry from Frodo's Sting.

Avail yourself freely, my friends. I am here to help.

[struggle4progress]

1. I've completely lost my marbles and can't remember where I was when I last had them.

I've been looking everywhere but no dice -- and no marbles. Whatever shall I do?

[MrScorpio]

2. Let them go…

If they don't come back, you were never meant to have them in the first place.

When you release yourself of them, you will free yourself from the burden of having them.

[mysuzuki2]

30. What kind of marbles were they?

Aggies or catseyes?

[taterguy]

3. I can't find my dogs

Any idea of who (or whom) would have let them out?

[MrScorpio]

4. Perhaps they let themselves out

Have you ever questioned yourself about how good of a pet daddy that you've been to them?

If they did let themselves out, and it could most certainly point to that, that would be the answer to your question.

[Denninmi]

5. Thanks, Mr. Scorpio!

You were dead on right last year in you answer to this question:

What will winter bring to Detroit? Should I order rock salt by the ton, or merely take a few dozen of those little salt packets from the counter at Wendy's and call it good?

[MrScorpio]

6. Free salt from Wendy's should handle it again this year

I'm expecting another underwhelming winter.

[Denninmi]

7. Excellent ... Well, ok anyway.

Should have asked you this question BEFORE I bought XC skis and snowshoes.

[rurallib]

8. Oh Great Scorpio

Shall I put some money on the Cubs to win the World Series next year?

[MrScorpio]

10. Only if you buy this bridge that I'm selling first…

And bet whatever you have left over on the Cubs.

Just do me a favor and don't borrow money from a guy name Fat Tony, if you decide to do that.

[HipChick]

9. I've been told that I intimidate men..

and that I should act dumb and blonde around them, instead of being my nerdy self...Is this true? Is this the best way to attract a man?

[MrScorpio]

13. Do you really want to hang out with guys who think that you're an idiot bimbo?

Attracting guys isn't all that hard.

First, you need to smile. A smile is always your best tool. If he smiles back, you're half way there.

Second, let the guy come to you. Men like the chase. Make him think that he caught you.

Third, show some self confidence with your smarts. Guys need to think that you're worth the chase, that the best way. Most of all, be yourself.

And last, be frank about what you expect. Guys never get enough of that.

That should work out for you.

[LiberalEsto]

11. I am worried about December 21. Will there be an apocalypse?

And if so, can I have a new DU screenname?

[MrScorpio]

14. No, there won't be an apocalypse

And keep your username, it suits you well.

[Baitball Blogger]

12. Mr. Scorpio.

Last year there were four morning doves in my backyard. Now there are sixteen. Why?

[MrScorpio]

15. Biology. nt

[madinmaryland]

16. I always thought you were a guy, Mrs. Corpio??

[MrScorpio]

18. Thoughts are strange things nt

[patricia92243]

28. Same here :)

[LeftofObama]

17. Dear Mr. Scorpio,

Why do people ignore me all the time. Some friends of mine that I thought were pretty close had a HUGE party back in August and I wasn't even invited. I had a pretty important job for 8 years and everybody wanted to be my friend, now it's like I don't even exist.

Sincerely,

G. W. Bush

[MrScorpio]

19. Sorry. You were talking? nt

[Tobin S.]

20. Okay

Jeanette has 150 acres of land suitable for cultivating crops A and B. The cost of cultivating crop A is $40 per acre, whereas that of crop B is $60 per acre. The farmer has a maximum of $7400 available for land cultivation. Each acre of crop A requires 20 labor hours, and each acre of crop B requires 25 labor hours. Jeanette has a maximum of 3300 labor hours available. If she expects to make a profit of $150 an acre on crop A and $200 an acre on crop B, how many acres of each crop should she plant in order to maximize her profit? Are any resources left over?

[MrScorpio]

21. Thursday. nt

[patricia92243]

29. LOL - great answer!

[mysuzuki2]

22. How did I get so fucking old?

And in a related question, why don't young women dig me anymore?

[MrScorpio]

24. You've been hanging around the schoolyard a little too long, haven't you?

Try some cocktail lounges instead.

[Grantuspeace]

23. What is the air speed of an unladen European Swallow? n/t

[MrScorpio]

25. It's the name for how fast the bird can fly at any given time nt

[In_The_Wind]

26. What's on the menu here ~ Restaurant at the End of the Universe?

[MrScorpio]

27. Some food that better taste really fucking delicious, if I'm going to take a trip out there nt

[MissMillie]

31. Why the heck hasn't the sleet turned to rain yet today?

I don't want to drive home w/ road conditions similar to my ride into work.

[MrScorpio]

32. The weather is conspiring against you

Not only that, but it has you surrounded too.

There's no escape for you.

[geardaddy]

33. Where is pancakes house?

[MrScorpio]

36. Follow your nose, it'll take you there nt

[Bucky]

34. How can we solve age-old conflicts like China-Japan, Israel-Palestine, dog-cat?

[MrScorpio]

37. Instead of exchanging bombs and bullets with each other, they should exchange fruitcakes nt

[Bucky]

39. So you don't even *want* to stop the violence? Does life mean nothing to you?

And if not Life, what about the Saturday Evening Post?

[AnneD]

35. How can I....

get rid of the voices in my head. I can't find the off switch and the just enhances the signal.

[MrScorpio]

38. I, myself, wouldn't be a paranoid-schizophrenic if the voices in my own head weren't out to get me

The best way to get them to stop talking is for you to talk to yourself.

They're lost lonely, that's all.

[AnneD]

40. Great idea...

we will do a coffee clatch at Starbucks. I will just wear my phone ear piece and no one will be the wiser.