Ever feel like your coworkers are throwing you under the bus?

[intheflow]

I'm totally in that space right now and am looking for some coping strategies.

Here are some details: I work at a small organization with several offices and have heard from many people that there is no way in hell they'd work at my location because of how dysfunctional it is; some have even quit the company to do contract work rather than continue in my location. I hadn't directly experienced this in over a year but it's suddenly taken an ugly turn and alllll the comments I've heard in the past are now case in a new, clearer light.

Of course knowing this doesn't help me since I need the job and have to continue showing up there day after day even though I have a pit in my stomach the size of a concrete truck. So in the spirit of not completely obsessing about something all through my NYE and New Year's Day off... who has coping strategies to offer me?

Beyond self-medication, which of course I've already started.

[onehandle]

1. Sounds like other people's problems, not yours.

Not seeing how you are being thrown under the bus.

If it's a bad situation, you just have to out perform them.

[hlthe2b]

5. If you have an abusive sabotaging clique, outpeforming them will only add to their

angst and motivation/determination to go after you... Just saying as I certainly would never condone doing less than ones' best.

Organizations with cliques of long term, yet very insecure employees. can really be disastrous, no matter how good the employee and caution they use to deflect any perception of "threat"...

[intheflow]

6. This is exactly what's going on - the clique is out to get me.

And it's because I'm outperforming them. Not on purpose, not to get them, but because I'm ambitious and would like to rise professionally. So, I don't stand around gossiping, I don't do the minimum work required to get my pay check, and I don't watch football on Sunday afternoon shifts when the boss doesn't work. Obviously I'm suspect!

[bluedigger]

2. I spend a lot of time plotting my revenge.

I find it a comforting diversion.

[intheflow]

7. .

I think I have an inkling of how I'll be spending my next 24 hours.

[hlthe2b]

3. I've long thought myself the "queen" of working in dysfunctional organizations...

A series of bad personal choices took me from an "acceptable and mild" level of dysfunction to worse and worse along that scale--and finally textbook dysfunction with bulllying cliques, absentee management and overt undermining of employees outside the "clique" (or perceived to be a threat)...

As bad as organizational bullying is, the presence of absentee management usually coincides with a misguided trust of certain long term staff (usually the same members of the bullying cliques).. A professional organizational analyst/consultant once told me that this is a particularly malignant form of dysfunction, since it results in ugly turnover of new vibrant staff, stagnation of the organization with the long-term (protected), entrenched staff and a management paradigm based purely on conflict. That the conflict continues and is never directly addressed by management, beyond allowing the blame to be placed on non-"tenured" members, allows for absentee management to deflect any criticism away from themselves. It is a particularly insidious pattern and one that should send you running for the doors if you see it.

If your situation is even remotely less severe than that pattern, I suggest you find solace in friends, families, and hobbies, keep your head down, and assume that this cycle may well change if you can wait it out Good luck.

[intheflow]

8. I think that may be a fair synopsis of this company location,

though I don't think it's pervasive in the company as a whole. I've been applying for other positions as they open elsewhere. Hopefully one of those will come through pretty soon.

BTW, I notice you also live in Denver. Do you think it's a Denver thing, or do you/have you worked for my company?

[hlthe2b]

11. Hah... No, I can guarantee it is not just a Denver thing...

Unfortunately, highly dysfunctional organizations are not all that rare, especially given the trend of increasing contempt for employees and unions...

Drink liberally on your off time...(within reason, of course)

[intheflow]

13. Drink liberally?

P'shaw! As of 12:01 a.m. I'll be imbibing other legal stimulants. Or maybe imbibing isn't the right word. Inhaling might be better.

[hlthe2b]

16. Coloradoan, indeed...

Doesn't go well with being on a diet, unfortunately....LOL

[intheflow]

17. Neither does the alcohol.

Just sayin'!

Happy New Year, hlthe2b!

[hlthe2b]

18. Not if you limit it to one smallish glass of very dry cabernet....

I count carbs and that is 6-8 very precious grams of carbs....but it does still leave my self-restraint in place... And, I'm enough of a wimp (in recent years) that that single glass will give me a bit of a buzz...

Pot? Geebus, I'd be clearing the 7-11 shelves of junk food within the hour. and crowds would gather to watch me consume! I've got nothing against pot, but damn, that is one side effect I don't need! LOL

[intheflow]

19. Yeah, my thing about alcohol is

that I can't drink at altitude. It completely interrupts my sleep cycles and dehydrates me something awful.

I find by taking only a hit of weed I can not lose track of what I'm eating... as easily. The trick is to put the chips/popcorn/cookies/whatever into portions, and not bring the whole bag with you to the couch. It's when I get high outta my mind that I forget all about portions. So really it's a matter of moderation all around. What a drag it is to get old and have to worry about this crap!

[Tobin S.]

4. Just do a good job and be honest.

You can still get fucked going that route, but I think you lessen your chances.

[intheflow]

9. And breathe.

That the other part of your prescription I try to remember. Thanks.

[Lokey]

10. Eventually you will get to the point that you don't care.

It will drive you nuts thinking about it. Speaking from experience where it seems like the boss tries to get everyone to throw each other under the bus, I just let it go now. I used to stress and think about it driving home, before I went to bed etc.
Now I am at the point where I say screw it..it's just a job.

I will not resort to throwing others under the bus even though some need to be. I still can't stand if I make a mistake--that stresses the heck out of me ..but I just do my thing and am typically more critical of myself more than anyone else could be. We all need our jobs, but there is only so much you can dwell on it or it will ruin your days off.

[intheflow]

14. It's just a job. It's just a job. It's just a job.

Good reminder that this needs to be my mantra. Hard to remember while in the thick of it, but I do appreciate the reminder of this timeless piece of wisdom. Thanks.

[rrneck]

12. I finally put carpet under there. Might as well be comfortable. nt

[intheflow]

15. Shag?

If your answer is yes, you could be comfortable or really comfortable under there, depending on how dirty your mind is.

OTOH, I'm now stuck with an mental image of all my co-workers shagging.

[nuxvomica]

20. Yes. Two in particular for a few years now.

I just keep gently pushing back and keep telling management what is going on but I keep the whole discussion functional rather than personal (eg. "I don't think it's going to work well that way" rather than "so-and-so is being a really asshole and trying to screw me over&quot and I behave friendly with the people otherwise. I joke with them and often praise their work to others when I have occasion. But I always push back when they cross a line and always try to seem reasonable and calm when I do. I remind myself of what Sun Tzu said about arguments: the more upset your opponent, the calmer you should be. This can drive the other person nuts. So, in short, be cool, be aggressively cool.

[intheflow]

21. Ah! The Taoist concept of wu wei!

I'd forgotten that! The idea that the harder you push back, the worse it will come back to you. I like how it was described in The Tao of Pooh, it's like pushing a cork in water: a gentle tap and it bobs a little, stuff it under the surface and it will pop back out and hit you in the eye!

This is expressed throughout human experience. In physics it's Einstein's "every action has an equal and opposite reaction." In many wiccan religions it's what you send out comes back three-fold. In karmic circles, it's "what goes around, comes around." This is wise counsel and a very good reminder as I get ready to head back into the lion's den after the holiday.

I really appreciate how you've phrased it: "be cool, be aggressively cool." I'm going to make that my mantra this week. Thank you!

[Tsiyu]

22. Trickle down mediocrity and obsolescence rule so many businesses now

And I could tell so many stories but they're all the same story.

Survivor - the show - is a great example of how slackerdom is the domain and salvation of the survivor. If you're the one trying to get the shelter built and fire started and fish caught, everyone hates and resents you. Early in the game, it's better to starve and be cold and miserable than to show what a hard-working, industrious tribe member you are.

The grey man theory at work in that case - blend in and don't upset the status quo.

As for the tinkle down: Think about Repuke legislators locking up Congress - they WANT to be as ineffective and useless and lazy as possible to PROVE that government doesn't work. That ethos is now part of the national mindset. Why bother doing your job?

I've contemplated the workplace similarities for many lost hours. My conclusions at this point: To me, wasting time on the clock is like stealing. To the slackers, they are equalizing their low pay by working at half speed.

As one told me: "Slow the hell down! We're paid by the hour, not by the job."

So what do you do, intheflow? Hell if I know.


But maybe the New year will bring you something much better.

[intheflow]

23. The Survivor analogy is useful.

I never watched the show, mostly because I instinctually knew the dynamics would play out that way, the smart ones would get voted off the island because they were smart and the idiots would reap the benefits of the infrastructure they built, saying the rest of the show, "We built this."

I hope something better comes along. And soon. But there's hope for 2013 as we've just gotten new funding and many jobs should be opening up in other locations. Rabbit, rabbit!

[Tsiyu]

24. It's not so much "smart" vs "idiot"

as it is "group savvy" over "too earnest."

The winners usually do three things: 1) They win a lot of the individual challenges - which are physical and mental ( like puzzles. These challenges can bring rewards like food, or immunity from getting kicked out. 2) They weave around the members of the tribe saying what others want to hear, without getting caught backstabbing and without being too bossy or offensive. 3) They make alliances to strengthen their position.

A jury of exiled members votes for the winner, so you want allies on the jury and not too many people pissed at you.

TMI on Survivor, I'm sure, and I have no clue how to be that conniving IRL or what the implications are relating to the business world. I have a friend who loves the show so it's on when I visit and I end up getting drawn in lol. I use it as a way to study group behavior is what I tell myself.

Still, the beginning dynamics always crack me up. They tend toward doing nothing so you don't become a target. That has certainly proven true in the workplace for moi.

If they see you bust ass, they just slack more and complain about you....



Funny thing: the woman who won Survivor last time was an older sex therapist who was tough as nails and kicked ass. She punked all of them.

so ya nevah know

[Z_I_Peevey]

25. Hey! There's a reason I wear asphalt underwear.

But I keep showing up and doing my job to the best of my ability anyway.

It's indoor work, and really, MOST people are fairly nice. It's only the small minority who enjoy petty power games, trying to ruin it for the rest of us.

Hope your situation is at least tolerable.

If it becomes intolerable, remember YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB.