My wife doesn't like lobster claws

[OriginalGeek]

Not because she thinks they taste bad.


It's because she can never be sure if the claw she's eating is the claw the lobster wiped his ass with.

[eShirl]

1. lobsters don't wipe

The claw meat is the best part.

[OriginalGeek]

2. Argh! She's been missing the best part all this time?!?

Why did nobody tell us sooner?

She's been eating only the ass end on the assumption that even if she didn't know which claw wiped, at least the ass was always wiped!

Oh lobster poop.


Stupid lobsters. Always going around not acting like normal people.

[dr.strangelove]

3. Lobster poop is the best part

skip all that white lobster meat and go for the green poop. It rocks!

[OriginalGeek]

4. Ack! Conflict!

Claws! Poop!


Imma go eat clams.

[trof]

10. Strips or bellies and all?

I like bellies and all.

[OriginalGeek]

13. I've mostly only ever had strips

ever since I was a tiny kid going to seafood places with my folks. Fried clams was about the only thing I'd eat. But after years and years of practice I've finally gotten to where I'm not afraid try new things. I've had surf clams in sushi so I think I would like to try some of these clam bellies. But since my wife's favorite seafood restaurant (I use that term loosely) is Red Lobster, it might be a while before I find them.

I seriously don't understand how a woman who was born and raised in Florida can think RL is a place to eat when we can hop on the toll road and be at the Atlantic ocean in 30 minutes. But she says she doesn't like "real" seafood - She likes Red Lobster.

I'm gonna work on her though. She taught me to like asparagus and spinach. I'll get her to like seafood.

[trof]

19. Red Lobster...I had an uncle...lived in Kentucky...

Mom's brother.
VERY small town in Kentucky.
But they did have a RED LOBSTER!

My family (my wife and daughter and I) would visit about once a year.
We could always count on one night out at the Red Lobster.
It was his favorite restaurant and a REALLY big deal for us to go there.
I don't remember that anyone actually ordered lobster.

We live on the Alabama gulf coast where fresh just-off-the-boat seafood is about 5 miles away.
Red Lobster was our seafood equivalent of McDonalds.

Good luck.

[eShirl]

5. we even have a pretty name for it

"tomalley"

wikipedia claims it's some kind of liver pancreas type thing, but I think we all know better

[OriginalGeek]

7. lol, I have heard that word

but I never understood why it was called that. Tomato alley? The Other Mud alley?


but what the heck: I'll eat pate' and I don't mind calamari so why not a pretty word for lobster poop?

[bif]

6. That's the only part I DO like.

[GoneOffShore]

8. We get the meat out without breaking the claws and then make ornaments out of them

We call them "Bizornaments".

We even have a xmas wreath and a swag decorated with them.

[A Simple Game]

9. Ahh, lobster, an expensive excuse to eat melted butter. n/t

[MiddleFingerMom]

11. No, that's snails.

[A Simple Game]

15. Never had snail, probably never will. I suppose if someone told me

they were clams I wouldn't know the difference. If they were out of their shells of course.

Snail chowder, clam chowder, who could tell the difference?

[MiddleFingerMom]

17. Even after having them and loving them (and calling them George), the concept of snails...

.
.
.
... still seems kinda repugnant.
.
.
.
But they ARE an excellent vehicle for butter and wine and garlic.
.
.
.
I would scarf them down again without hesitation.
.
.
.
When I had them, it was a celebratory dinner -- following my horrendous motorcycle accident in
1980 or -81 when I really should have died (you'd think I was Fucking Immortal or sumpin).
.
I talked my date into joining me in ordering the escargot appetizer and told her that they would
come out in their shells on a HUGE platter (they did). The huge platter was provided so that we
would be able to finish them all before any of them escaped from the plate.
.
"Sam", her name was... and despite my teasing, she joined me in what turned out to be merely
the first orgasmic course of that meal (in an 18th century Colonial farmhouse -- a fine French
restaurant in the dead of winter in front of a huge crackling fireplace).
.
My, she was yar.
.
.
.

[trof]

12. Story: The Lobstuh Pound

Back in the olden days (60s and 70s) I'd have crew layovers in Boston.
We stayed in a downtown hotel and our airline had contracted with a limo outfit to get us to and from Logan.

On most trips our driver was 'Sallie', short for Salvatore.
Sallie was a very large man of Italian extraction and great good humor.
I do believe he was 'connected', as they say.
Word was that the limo company was operated by one of the Boston mafia families.

At the time (and still, I think) there was a lobster tank in the domestic terminal where travelers could buy live lobs to take home. The prices were pretty steep.
Sallie would take us to the 'lobster pound'.

As soon as he picked us up at the hotel Sallie would ask "OK, who wants lobstuhs?"
Most of us did. It was pretty cool to bring live lobsters home to family and friends.
He'd take us to the 'lobster pound' sort of on the way to to Logan.
This was the wholesale place that sold to restaurants and the shop at Logan.
Huge 100 gallon glass tanks brimming with the crustaceans.
We'd get 'em for about half the price.
It was run by some of his cousins.
I'd guess that Sallie got a piece of the action, but it was a win-win for everybody.

[Bucky]

14. "win-win for everybody"

That, sir, is a matter of perspective.

[OriginalGeek]

16. IF lobsters didn't wanna get et'

They shouldn't wear those rubber bands on their claws.


Stupid, hipster, rubber-band-wearing lobsters.

[trof]

18. Well, of course, except thuh lobstuhs.