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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsChurch squirrels
There were five country churches in a small English town:
The Presbyterian Church,
the Baptist Church,
the Methodist Church,
the Catholic Church and
the Jewish Synagogue.
Each church and the Synagogue were overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist Church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But the Catholic church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
Rhiannon12866
(205,237 posts)And congratulations on 2000 posts!
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)[img][/img]
Everyone has a different way of dealing with squirrels. [img][/img]
I feed them.
orleans
(34,050 posts)i don't think that short service is called "circumcision"
i thought this was going to be a joke about "religious nuts"
LiberalEsto
(22,845 posts)met with the squirrels using an English-Squirrel interpreter, invited them to the service and coffee hour afterwards, explained that we are all part of the interdependent web of life, and started learning about the squirrels' own religious practices. Before long the teachings of Squirrelism, including jump-hop-dances to honor Great Mama Squirrel, were incorporated into UU services.
libodem
(19,288 posts)I feed mine, too.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Hurrah! Hurrah!
The mohel came to my front door.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He brought with him a big sharp knife,
I thought he came to take my life,
But allll heeee tooooooook was
A little bit off the top.
agracie
(950 posts)get good tips.