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Sat May 18, 2013, 01:18 PM

If you had it to do all over again...

...what would "it" be?

82 replies, 12115 views

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Reply If you had it to do all over again... (Original post)
Indi Guy May 2013 OP
CaliforniaPeggy May 2013 #1
Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #2
femmocrat May 2013 #11
Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #12
femmocrat May 2013 #13
Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #14
CBHagman May 2013 #3
LiberalEsto May 2013 #4
In_The_Wind May 2013 #41
ohiosmith May 2013 #5
Demoiselle May 2013 #15
ohiosmith May 2013 #16
Demoiselle May 2013 #19
trof May 2013 #22
ohiosmith May 2013 #60
trof May 2013 #64
nomorenomore08 May 2013 #61
ConcernedCanuk May 2013 #26
Bertha Venation May 2013 #57
olddots May 2013 #6
Iggo May 2013 #7
RebelOne May 2013 #8
DFW May 2013 #9
sir pball May 2013 #18
DFW May 2013 #37
hunter May 2013 #10
sir pball May 2013 #17
LuckyLib May 2013 #66
Apophis May 2013 #20
ScreamingMeemie May 2013 #21
CaliforniaPeggy May 2013 #25
Tuesday Afternoon May 2013 #30
LineLineReply !
In_The_Wind May 2013 #42
Incitatus May 2013 #23
mythology May 2013 #24
IrishEyes May 2013 #27
whistler162 May 2013 #28
BainsBane May 2013 #29
Indi Guy May 2013 #38
BainsBane May 2013 #50
a la izquierda May 2013 #47
BainsBane May 2013 #48
a la izquierda May 2013 #49
BainsBane May 2013 #51
a la izquierda May 2013 #52
BainsBane May 2013 #54
a la izquierda May 2013 #55
Tuesday Afternoon May 2013 #31
Moondog May 2013 #32
840high May 2013 #33
sorefeet May 2013 #34
Locut0s May 2013 #35
a la izquierda May 2013 #46
HeiressofBickworth May 2013 #36
lost-in-nj May 2013 #39
Xipe Totec May 2013 #40
In_The_Wind May 2013 #43
mysuzuki2 May 2013 #44
a la izquierda May 2013 #45
Jamaal510 May 2013 #53
Bertha Venation May 2013 #58
Jamaal510 May 2013 #59
Bertha Venation May 2013 #56
nomorenomore08 May 2013 #62
Indi Guy May 2013 #71
nomorenomore08 May 2013 #73
Indi Guy Jun 2013 #74
raccoon May 2013 #63
ConcernedCanuk Jun 2013 #75
Art_from_Ark May 2013 #65
TrogL May 2013 #67
Indi Guy May 2013 #69
tabbycat31 May 2013 #68
Earth_First May 2013 #70
alarimer May 2013 #72
olddots Jun 2013 #76
Indi Guy Jun 2013 #81
Chan790 Jun 2013 #77
Quantess Jun 2013 #78
Doc_Technical Jun 2013 #79
Flaxbee Jun 2013 #80
Rowdyboy Jun 2013 #82

Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 01:19 PM

1. Not sure, my dear Indi Guy...

There are so many possibilities...

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:01 PM

2. The very first thing that comes to mind

is that I would have moved from VA to CA in 1969 as I had been planning to do. Things happened and I remained in VA.

But what I have to ask is: 'would I even recognize myself today if I had done so?' And what if that person would answer...'I would have stayed in VA instead of moving to CA'?

It's fun to speculate, but that's because we always view the alternative as the better decision... I'm not certain that's true.

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Response to Sekhmets Daughter (Reply #2)

Sat May 18, 2013, 05:46 PM

11. That's funny.... I would have stayed in VA instead of moving to PA!

Also 1969! CA wasn't an option, though.

I moved back to PA because that is where my family was. Now my son is living in VA! Life is a crazy circle sometimes.

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Response to femmocrat (Reply #11)

Sat May 18, 2013, 05:51 PM

12. Crazy circles and coincidences!

My family moved to PA in 1972. I was in NJ by that time, newly married. I often wonder what different turns my life would have taken, but I don't look back in regret.

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Response to Sekhmets Daughter (Reply #12)

Sat May 18, 2013, 06:02 PM

13. We probably crossed paths on the Turnpike or I-70!

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Response to femmocrat (Reply #13)

Sat May 18, 2013, 06:04 PM

14. I-70 for sure!

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:05 PM

3. "It" is life and...

...I'd have been kinder, I've have enjoyed experiences and people more, and I'd not have worried what others thought unless someone had actually been hurt. That matters, but many other things don't.

On edit: Of course my life is not over (at least not as of this posting! ), and I'm referring to my earlier years.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:10 PM

4. I'd have picked different parents, to start with. nt

 

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Response to LiberalEsto (Reply #4)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:09 PM

41. +1

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:25 PM

5. For better or worse it made me what I am!

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Response to ohiosmith (Reply #5)

Sat May 18, 2013, 06:05 PM

15. There's a science fiction short story. ...

Is it Bradbury? A group of explorers time-travels back to prehistoric times and one of them steps on a butterfly by accident...And then when they go back to the future...everything is horrible and sucky.
(Yes, thank you, I've always been noted for my intelligent literary analysis.)

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Response to Demoiselle (Reply #15)

Sat May 18, 2013, 06:09 PM

16. Yes! Sound of Thunder! Very good!

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Response to ohiosmith (Reply #16)

Sat May 18, 2013, 07:51 PM

19. Thank you for the title! I'm going to find it and re-read it...

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Response to Demoiselle (Reply #19)

Sat May 18, 2013, 08:13 PM

22. Recent movie on that premise.

Forget the title.

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Response to trof (Reply #22)

Mon May 20, 2013, 03:13 PM

60. Butterfly Effect?

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Response to ohiosmith (Reply #60)

Mon May 20, 2013, 05:45 PM

64. That's it. Was on the toob recently.

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Response to trof (Reply #22)

Mon May 20, 2013, 03:13 PM

61. "The Butterfly Effect"

Starring - and I use the term loosely - Ashton Kutcher.

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Response to ohiosmith (Reply #5)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:07 PM

26. +1

 

.
.
.



CC

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Response to ohiosmith (Reply #5)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:55 PM

57. + 1

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:30 PM

6. I wouldn't have moved in with Georgia

 

I wouldn't have eaten at Buzzy's Roast Beef in Boston and I would have joined that one band I hated .

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:45 PM

7. Last Saturday.

I'd've left the bicycle home and walked.

Then I wouldnt've dislocated the 3rd and 4th fingers on my left hand.

Of course, I could've been hit by a crosstown bus instead, so you know, whatevs.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:48 PM

8. I wouldn't have married at 16 years old and quit high school.

But despite being divorced at 25 with 2 kids, I haven't fared badly in my life. I have done a lot that even college graduates haven't.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 02:50 PM

9. When I was 22, I met the most incredible young woman

She was tall, gorgeous, totally natural, loved to cook, travel, was studying to become a professional social worker, had guys chasing after her in droves. We were introduced by a mutual acquaintance She spoke little English, though I knew some of her language.

I figured guys like me NEVER have a chance with girls like that, so why even bother, just to set myself up for the inevitable let-down?

It was either me or my defeatist attitude (brought on by being put down by countless girls I had liked and struck out with in the past).

But then, I got a hold of myself. One of us had to go, so I kicked my defeatist attitude out the door, and never looked back. Hell, even women like her end up marrying SOMEBODY, so why NOT me? And what do you know? We're together now, 39 years later.

If I had to do it all over again, you had better believe I'd not do it ANY other way.

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Response to DFW (Reply #9)

Sat May 18, 2013, 07:14 PM

18. I fucked up a whole lot since I was 22

And now at 33 I finally have my better half - and you better bet I wouldn't change anything, either. Been a long, hard road - but sometimes that's the best way

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Response to sir pball (Reply #18)

Sun May 19, 2013, 01:27 AM

37. There's no one "true way" to get there

Just as long as you get there!

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 03:05 PM

10. I have a time machine.

Every time I've followed the advice of my future selves I've fucked things up worse.

My future selves, at least those who bother to come back in time and give me advice, are ALL ASSHOLES.

I figure the ones who don't come back in time are okay with the way I am now.


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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 07:12 PM

17. "It" would be the exact same thing, warts and all.

Each good choice, each misstep, every love, every colossal fuckup, all the hard work, all the mistakes...the sum total of my life to this point, for better or for worse, has ended up with me proposing to the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. And her saying yes.

I change one thing, no matter how small, and it won't end up here. And that would crush me.

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Response to sir pball (Reply #17)

Tue May 21, 2013, 12:00 AM

66. Heard the song "This" by Darrius Rucker? - great lyrics and even better music.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 07:54 PM

20. I would have gotten the soup instead of the sandwich.

 

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 08:02 PM

21. I would have gone to the store with him.

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Response to ScreamingMeemie (Reply #21)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:00 PM

25. ...

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Response to ScreamingMeemie (Reply #21)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:21 PM

30. --

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Response to ScreamingMeemie (Reply #21)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:10 PM

42. !

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 08:15 PM

23. Can I wait until tomorrow and go back just 1 day?

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 08:56 PM

24. The single biggest regret of my life

 

is not telling my dad to get out of it before I did. Every other regret stems from letting him influence me for longer than I should have.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:13 PM

27. I wouldn't have changed my major to please my parents.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:17 PM

28. Remembering that I wrote a manual for Exchange 2003

disaster recovery using HTML when I was filling out my Civil Service application. Would have put me higher on the eligibility list and saved getting fired, for 4 months, and probably burning my toes and about $10,000 in medical bills!


All for the want of a nail.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:18 PM

29. go to law school

instead of grad school.

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Response to BainsBane (Reply #29)

Sun May 19, 2013, 04:11 PM

38. How do you think...

...things might have turned out, had you made that decision?

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Response to Indi Guy (Reply #38)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:24 PM

50. well

I got a PhD. Being an academic is a very solitary life, and I didn't take well to it. I never liked it. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a lawyer, but I think I was unduly swayed by negative views of lawyers and law school by friends in college. I think I could have been a really good lawyer, and since that degree is so flexible in terms of what one can do with it, who knows what I might have ended up doing. I probably would have ended up doing anti-death penalty work.

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Response to BainsBane (Reply #29)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:20 PM

47. Haha. I thanks the gods everyday...

that I didn't go to law school.

However, I am gainfully employed. If I wasn't, I might be singing a different tune

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Response to a la izquierda (Reply #47)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:21 PM

48. I'm gainfully employed too

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Response to BainsBane (Reply #48)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:23 PM

49. It was touch and go for awhile...

Thankfully, a university saw fit to give me a job. My other option was Wall Street with my dad. Um, no thanks.

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Response to a la izquierda (Reply #49)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:25 PM

51. Wall Street?

My dad was a cab driver. No such option for me. I actually willingly left a tenure track job. I didn't like it.

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Response to BainsBane (Reply #51)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:30 PM

52. Answering phones for a company...

better than unemployment and $100000 in student loans. I grew up dirt poor.

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Response to a la izquierda (Reply #52)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:38 PM

54. wow, that's a lot of loans

Congratulations on your job!

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Response to BainsBane (Reply #54)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:41 PM

55. Thanks!

13 years of school. It's overwhelming sometimes.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:22 PM

31. I would have stayed when I went and went when I stayed.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 09:31 PM

32. Retired when I was 48 instead of when I was 50.

The last two years were a waste of time, and a lot of pointless aggravation.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 10:01 PM

33. I would have

 

skipped marriage and finished medical school.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 10:10 PM

34. I would have went to Canada

instead of joining the Army. My lottery number was 44, guaranteed infantry in Viet Nam if they drafted me.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 10:39 PM

35. Life. Assuming that I get to take the lessons of this life with me...

Mine is fucked up 6 ways to Sunday.

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Response to Locut0s (Reply #35)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:19 PM

46. Have you ever considered yoga?

Even just doing it at home. It's very soothing and grounding.

Sorry for the OT response.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sun May 19, 2013, 12:02 AM

36. I've occasionally pondered the roads not taken

But each road not taken also gave me something I appreciated.

For example, I should never have married my first husband. We were never emotionally suited to each other. I spent five of the loneliest years of my life as that man's wife. HOWEVER, by beautiful, intelligent daughter was the product of that marriage and I wouldn't exchange her for anything.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sun May 19, 2013, 06:23 PM

39. I would go back only a few years

and change a decision I made when I was lonely..

woulda, coulda, shoulda


lost

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sun May 19, 2013, 06:28 PM

40. I would let her explain why she wanted to break up.

Instead of walking away without hearing her out.

That choice has haunted me for thirty five years.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:13 PM

43. Never should have gotten married and moved to New York.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:13 PM

44. Dont marry Cathy G

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:18 PM

45. Not much...except I'd have gone on study abroad...

as an undergraduate. And maybe I'd have visited Europe.

I have a very nice life, minus my student loans

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:34 PM

53. I would be more outgoing in high school

I would ask for all of my friends' numbers so we could meet up outside of school and shoot some hoop. I literally have nobody to hang out with on weekends now because I lost contact with everybody I went to high school with. It was foolish of me to not even bother trying to keep in contact with anyone.

I would also try harder to meet girls. I was shy and mistakingly believed that guys could wait for girls to approach them like how it works vice-versa, but I eventually learned that it is very difficult to get girls to make the 1st move, even if a guy does happen to be rather good-looking or well-groomed. Sadly, I ended up going to the prom alone because of my shyness. It drove me nuts seeing guys who didn't even dress as fashionable as me or who may not have been as athletic or have as high GPA as me have better luck with the ladies than I did. I spent a lot of time racking my brain about how guys like them were able to get their time of day while I spent my Friday and Saturday nights alone.

My best hope for making new friends now is when I finish community college and transfer to Humboldt State University this fall.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Reply #53)

Mon May 20, 2013, 03:03 PM

58. It's great to have good plans, isn't it?

Don't let anything hold you back from making those friends. I hope you have a great time at Humboldt State and exceed your wildest dreams.

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Response to Bertha Venation (Reply #58)

Mon May 20, 2013, 03:11 PM

59. Thanks!

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 02:46 PM

56. College

I should have studied music and sports medicine.

Instead I spent three years at a Baptist college, majoring in Bible and English (in that order), and getting engaged to a man while dodging the psychotic, stalking ex-lover who would never leave me alone.

I learned a lot of good there, just precious little of it academic.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 03:30 PM

62. I would've nipped certain things in the bud, before they started.

Let's just say some habits are very hard to break...

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Response to nomorenomore08 (Reply #62)

Sat May 25, 2013, 01:04 PM

71. No doubt.

Can you see yourself helping others after you've dealt with your habit(s)?

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Response to Indi Guy (Reply #71)

Sat May 25, 2013, 06:37 PM

73. Who knows? I don't really go for the 12 Step sort of approach, and I'm an introvert anyhow.

But maybe...

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Response to nomorenomore08 (Reply #73)

Tue Jun 11, 2013, 03:32 PM

74. You don't necessarily have to do the 12 step thing...

...to find a spiritual solution (tap into a power greater than yourself).

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 03:37 PM

63. No way I would do it over again. No effing way. nt

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Response to raccoon (Reply #63)

Tue Jun 11, 2013, 03:42 PM

75. +1

 

.
.
.

yeppers - took long enough to get here!!

CC

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Mon May 20, 2013, 10:09 PM

65. There have been so many forks in my road

if I had taken a different turn at any of them, my life would be completely different than what it is today. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. And right now I find myself standing at yet another fork...

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2013, 01:24 PM

67. The Big Bang

I'd tweak Planck's constant a bit.

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Response to TrogL (Reply #67)

Wed May 22, 2013, 01:50 AM

69. Plank's constant is an arbitrary number...

...conceived of by visually challenged physicists. Astrophysicist Nassim Haramein seems to have discovered the holy grail -- the "unified theory" of the universe (exposing Plank's constant as meaningless).

Here's 4 hours you won't regret spending...

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2013, 05:33 PM

68. one of two things

First thing is college--- I listened to my mom instead of myself and let her steer me off a cliff when it came to college choices (size of the school, etc). I threw away my 20s.

The second thing is the men that I tend to fall for. My first love was dating 3 girls at once and would make an ideal polygamist. My second love is an alcoholic that I was ready to punch in the throat when I saw him last week. I have reason to believe he ruined my career thus my becoming increasingly desperate to get the hell out of my state once and for all. Those two have made me believe I am a loser magnet and I have to settle for anyone remotely attracted to me.

(I am sort of seeing Mr. Wonderful right now even though he lives 6 hours away and I hope to every higher power in the world that things work out).

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Wed May 22, 2013, 05:53 AM

70. I would have gotten on that bus to Chicago...

It would have been the only (and ultimately last) time I would have had the chance to have seen the Grateful Dead.

Of course this isn't "it" however it was the first thing that popped into my head this morning. I'm not sure why.

Maybe its part of my longing to have taken some risks earlier in life that involved a desire to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do by myself. I've always been a social creature who enjoys sharing experiences with those dear to me. If I had gotten on that bus, how would things have been different in life.

Well, I met my wife a few years later by NOT getting on that bus to Chicago, so all is a matter of what's meant to be...so its not all bad at all...

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2013, 05:53 PM

72. I would not have taken the job I have now.

It ruined the only long-term relationship I have ever had. I hate the town I'm in and the people who live here. I will never find love again, not among these rednecks. And financially I took a major hit.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Tue Jun 11, 2013, 04:00 PM

76. " I wish I didn't eat the whole thing"

 

old TV ad ...

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Response to olddots (Reply #76)

Wed Jun 12, 2013, 04:43 PM

81. Ah yes, I remember it well (don't forget the 'Plop plop - fizz fizz')...

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Tue Jun 11, 2013, 04:02 PM

77. Majored in PR in NYC rather than Political Theory in DC.

 

Talk about a bad decision.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Tue Jun 11, 2013, 04:05 PM

78. Not listened to people who made me feel inadequate.

I was too trusting, too naive. It was just another power play, I realized too late.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Tue Jun 11, 2013, 08:18 PM

79. Feeling sorry for my Mother.

It's madness to try and appease the unappeasable.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Tue Jun 11, 2013, 09:36 PM

80. Probably double major in French and some sort of textile design

or other arts/crafts design as a second major.

Then picked up another language.

Not sure if I'd still have gone to law school -- I really loved law school and the friends I made there are some of the best friends I've ever had, but, practicing law sucked more than I'd have thought possible.

Then, I'd have made damn sure I found work where I wasn't so damn stressed all the time. Cut out debt immediately, and chosen to live very simply and efficiently, doing work I love.

I'm going to get there somehow; I've just had a 15 year detour.

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Response to Indi Guy (Original post)

Wed Jun 12, 2013, 05:15 PM

82. I would have had a LOT more fun with my best friend in high school....

Much, much more fun.....

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