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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsMFM update
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,
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The sneer is gone from MFM"s lip,
his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his um, you know...
his bat upon the plate.(OWWIE)
And now the pitcher holds his balls (wtf!!!)
and now he lets them go (ahhhhhh),
And now the air is shattered
by the force of MFM'S blow
Oh, somewhere in this favored land
the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere,
and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing,
and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville
mighty MFM has struck out.
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I broke a facility rule and now they have me on a Tagteam Bedbath restriction --
only one-a-day unless there's an emergency.
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Help me, PUH-LEASE!!!!!
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Think of some non-sexual emergencies that will help me invoke the exception.
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Hurry!!! I'm starting to dry up and crack here.
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(sniff) Hurry.
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Tobin S.
(10,418 posts)to satisfy your twisted sexual fantasies. Well, I wish that was it anyway. I hope they can find a way to keep you well, MFM.
BainsBane
(52,907 posts)
The best way to get around it would be incontinence, but that wouldn't exactly endear you with the nurses.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Obviously, with one or two tweaks for your situation, this plan is practically foolproof!
lunatica
(53,410 posts)Do the pout. If that doesn't help then a little sniveling might.
libodem
(19,288 posts)Get busy!
libodem
(19,288 posts)With the cold spoon!
MiddleFingerMom
(25,163 posts)libodem
(19,288 posts)Taught me about the technique during bedbaths 101, back in 1976, before I ever knew I was going to end up as a nurse. She was a big square, white haired woman, you didn't want to mess with.
MiddleFingerMom
(25,163 posts)libodem
(19,288 posts)And be discharged to home, soon! That's for sure.
marzipanni
(6,011 posts)LiberalEsto
(22,845 posts)Beg Kali to bring you a jug of it.
HeiressofBickworth
(2,682 posts)I go off DU (real life, you know) for a couple of days and when I came back and saw all your amusing posts, I assumed I merely missed the one that said you are out of the hospital ---------
and now THIS! Have you been in the hospital all this time?
What's up?
And I say this will all affection..................
Systematic Chaos
(8,601 posts)GoCubsGo
(31,912 posts)...you need to find a way to make it a loooooooooooooooong one.
Incitatus
(5,317 posts)Not that there's anything wrong with a male nurse, or one giving a sponge bath, but I don't think that's your 'cup of tea"
TexasTowelie
(107,714 posts)He once inquired about a TTBB (TexasTowelie BedBath)!
Get yourself well MFM.
Kali
(54,771 posts)

went to the feed store today and while I was waiting to pay, the owner and some guy were talking about bees and exploring caves looking for minerals. I barged in on the conversation and pointed out they generally won't attack when they are getting water, only when their hive is involved.
so tonight on the way to pick up A from work, I was checking waters and went to dunk the little dog to cool her off. what happens? stung by a freaking BEE.
inside of left pinky, half my hand is swollen. gonna itch like hell tomorrow.
and just now a skunk has fired off somewhere close - the fan is blowing stench right at me. did you say your roommate was a pain in the ass?
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,125 posts)Any anniversary with 69 has to be some kind of tag-team sponge-bath emergency.
Good luck
AnneD
(15,774 posts)call a Code Brown.
That was what we called it when patients didn't make it to the rest room in time.
Code Yellow.
Foley cath exploded, bring a mop.
Code Blue.
Grad a crash cart, run do not walk.
Code Pink:
Obnoxious Doc chewing out Nurse. Nurses circle the doc and just stare at the offender.
Pt going to Chicago:
Pt circling the drain going for a celestial discharge.