Please add your favorite George Carlin

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

To start it off:

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. and also -

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. (ouch!)

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

2. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American...

...recently passed each other in opposite directions.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. I do that a lot at work ... sometimes I say Hi as I pass by - some more:

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

3. Oh and...

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

[pokerfan]

5. George Carlin on rights...

"Now if you think you do have rights, one last assignment for you. Next time you're at the computer, get on the Internet, go to Wikipedia. When you get to Wikipedia, in the search field for Wikipedia, I want you to type in "Japanese Americans 1942" and you'll find out all about your precious fucking rights, Okay? All right. You know about it. In 1942, there were 110,000 Japanese American citizens in good standing, law-abiding people who were thrown into internment camps simply because their parents were born in the wrong country. That's all they did wrong. They had no right to a lawyer, no right to a fair trial, no right to a jury of their peers no right to due process of any kind. The only right they had: "Right this way" into the internment camps! Just when these American citizens needed their rights the most, their government took them away! And rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges. And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter. You see all, sooner or later. Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a fuck about them! The government doesn't care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety. It simply does not give a fuck about you! It's interested in its own power. That's the only thing. Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible." -It's Bad for Ya (2008) "You Have No Rights"

[Initech]

6. George Carlin and Frank Zappa: Two artists who were way ahead of their time.