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Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 03:44 PM Jun 2013

Do you have a dark sense of humour? Do you tell sick jokes? Does your family?...

Me and my father have always shared a dark sense of humour. We like to tell off colour jokes, often to relieve tension in certain environments.

Here's and example. Taking a flight always has a little bit of anxiety during take off and landing, and let's face it the mandatory safety script the stewards have to go through gets rather boring after a while. So one joke I came up with some time back was "in the event of a water landing the child in front of you can be used as an emergency floatation devise". We've come up with others I can't think of right now.

Do you have a similar dark sense of humour? What jokes do you tell? Do you share this with your family?

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Do you have a dark sense of humour? Do you tell sick jokes? Does your family?... (Original Post) Locut0s Jun 2013 OP
I am a terrible joke teller, but we definitely love sick, cynical, off-kilter types of jokes.... NRaleighLiberal Jun 2013 #1
I do love sick jokes. ZombieHorde Jun 2013 #2
I love off color jokes if they aren't gross. In_The_Wind Jun 2013 #3
Good one! Lady Freedom Returns Jun 2013 #5
Yes indeed. Notice my hidden posts. MrSlayer Jun 2013 #4
medical here ... comes with the territory. Tuesday Afternoon Jun 2013 #6
OK you win, I've heard some of the jokes you guys like to tell... Locut0s Jun 2013 #13
When my sister's man was dying too painfully and slowly- they gave him the pills cliffordu Jun 2013 #7
Lol. Nice... Locut0s Jun 2013 #14
Too bad about the one I never said to him: cliffordu Jun 2013 #20
Oh sure Ron Obvious Jun 2013 #8
It's the others persons problem... Locut0s Jun 2013 #15
Yes, and I blame my dad pipi_k Jun 2013 #9
Hah, very touching... Locut0s Jun 2013 #16
Yes, and I came by it honestly... polly7 Jun 2013 #10
Yes EMT humour I've heard some... Locut0s Jun 2013 #17
I don't really have a dark sense of humor normally Boomerproud Jun 2013 #11
Not really around family, but around certain friends I feel pretty free to let the dark humor out. nomorenomore08 Jun 2013 #12
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Locut0s Jun 2013 #18
I watched Bad Santa last night, doesn't get much darker, sicker, and twisted than that! Initech Jun 2013 #19

NRaleighLiberal

(59,940 posts)
1. I am a terrible joke teller, but we definitely love sick, cynical, off-kilter types of jokes....
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 03:52 PM
Jun 2013

dark humor - I think it is a way that we attempt to make sense of the madness we see around us!

 

MrSlayer

(22,143 posts)
4. Yes indeed. Notice my hidden posts.
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 04:36 PM
Jun 2013

The humorless bastards and ultra PC police don't appreciate my humor around here. I'd probably be banned if I said what I want to say most of the time. My real personality is way too raw for this site but I do enjoy it here in spite of the fact that I have to self-censor constantly. There's no better source of news and intelligent commentary when I want to be serious.

I'd share a joke but I don't want to upset the easily offended.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
6. medical here ... comes with the territory.
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 04:51 PM
Jun 2013

I hang back for you guys and, because I still give a shit about that silly ole transparency page.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
13. OK you win, I've heard some of the jokes you guys like to tell...
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 11:57 PM
Jun 2013

Lol. Insane times call for insane humour. Thank you for the work you do!!

cliffordu

(30,994 posts)
7. When my sister's man was dying too painfully and slowly- they gave him the pills
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 04:55 PM
Jun 2013

to end his life.

I asked him if there were any warnings on the bottle, like:

"Do not operate heavy machinery while taking this medication"

Or:

"Do not mix with alcohol"

"May cause dependency"

cliffordu

(30,994 posts)
20. Too bad about the one I never said to him:
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 02:47 AM
Jun 2013

"Objects in the mirror may be deader than they appear".

 

Ron Obvious

(6,261 posts)
8. Oh sure
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 04:59 PM
Jun 2013

It's not always appreciated. Once when asked if my parents smoked, I answered "I think my mother might be smouldering a bit yet" (We had just cremated her a few days earlier)

Reads awfully raw reading that back now, but I say things like that without thinking.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
15. It's the others persons problem...
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 11:59 PM
Jun 2013

If they take offence. Life is meant to be lived this way. At least IMNSHO.

pipi_k

(21,020 posts)
9. Yes, and I blame my dad
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 06:28 PM
Jun 2013

He had a somewhat dark sense of humor which I inherited and passed on in some respects to my own kids.

Anyway, being cold is a family trait. Except when it's like 100 degrees out.

So we're talking on the phone one day and I don't know how we got on the subject, but he was joking around about how when he died he wanted to be cremated because it would be about the only time he would be warm enough to suit him.

He died ten months later.

And he was cremated. I have a tiny little urn with some of his ashes in it on my dresser, and I often find myself wondering if he got his wish to be nice and warm that day in the barbeque...



Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
16. Hah, very touching...
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 12:02 AM
Jun 2013

Thanks for sharing that.

My father has said he would like to be shot out of a canon when he dies. Cause the body means nothing to him, or me really, once dead. It's the absurdity of it.

polly7

(20,582 posts)
10. Yes, and I came by it honestly...
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 06:55 PM
Jun 2013

First from my Dad, he was hilarious (he wanted to be buried standing up with one arm sticking out to keep collecting his Pension Cheque) ... and, EMT's and Paramedics have probably got some of the blackest humour out there. It's pretty shocking at first until you go on a few calls, and then you understand it's either that, or just curl up and cry.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
17. Yes EMT humour I've heard some...
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 12:03 AM
Jun 2013

Lol, now that's dark stuff. Hilarious too at times if you are in that mind set, even if it is a coping mechanism.

Boomerproud

(7,889 posts)
11. I don't really have a dark sense of humor normally
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 07:08 PM
Jun 2013

but in my teens I'd listen to Dr. Demento and heard "Dead Puppies Aren't Much Fun" and rolled on the floor-and I adore dogs.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
12. Not really around family, but around certain friends I feel pretty free to let the dark humor out.
Thu Jun 20, 2013, 07:27 PM
Jun 2013

Including some stuff that would probably get me banned from DU.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
18. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 12:06 AM
Jun 2013

As many as it takes to make a pile high enough to reach the bulb.

Ba dum tshh...

Initech

(99,913 posts)
19. I watched Bad Santa last night, doesn't get much darker, sicker, and twisted than that!
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 12:09 AM
Jun 2013

Willie: [to Marcus] Why don't you get going? You'll be late for your... Wizard of Oz Candy Bar Guild.

Marcus: Lollipop Guild, you asshole. Jesus! Two-year-olds flip me better shit than you.

Willie: You saying something to me?

Marcus: Yeah, I'm gonna stick my whole fist up your ass!

Willie: [gives Marcus the finger as he walks away]

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